SJ wanted me to talk today about how I feel, as a subbie, about submitting and what a Dom need bring to the table in order for me to do that.
Kind of a complicated questions since not all subs are created equally. But, since he asked ME, I will just talk about how I feel about it.
Submission to me is a gift we give to our Dom. We are giving them control and power over our lives. We allow them to make decisions for us. For our well being, our safety. We trust them to make these decisions based on what is best for us, and not them. Of course there is always room for discussion. Don’t get me wrong, if I don’t exactly agree, I have the ability to give my side of the story-plead my case if you will. But ultimately, it is the Dom who has the final say.That’s pretty heavy stuff isn’t it?
So to do this, agree to submit, you need to really trust your Dom. I don’t think it is something you can take lightly. Not everyone deserves that trust. They need to earn it. They must prove to you that they are deserving and able to handle the responsibility. Because their job is not any easier than the submissive’s.
SJ talked the other day about balance. And for me to agree to submit to him, there does need to be balance. I call him Mr. Meanie sometimes. Mainly because I am not happy about a decision he made. Most usually because of something I said or did that is against the rules and was facing punishment. But the truth of it is, he is always fair. I may not like it at the time, but I do realize that he is not imposing anything on me that he would not agree to himself. We are not allowed to text while driving, or even when just sitting in the car at a red light. And he doesn’t either. We are not allowed to curse-and he doesn’t either. Basically, all of the rules we have, he follows as well. So, it’s ok. And he is responsible and dependable. Which are both traits my Dom must bring to the table. Because without responsibility and dependability, I would not respect him. Which would be a deal breaker. Because lets face it, if you do not respect your Dom, what else do you have?
For some the act of submission is a game they play at once in awhile. Their submission doesn’t go any deeper than a “yes Sir” during play. But if you are in a true D/s relationship, like my sister is, you don’t get to pick or choose when to obey. You must always obey, even when its really difficult and the exact opposite of what you want. So it’s not easy.
So how do I feel submitting? I guess I feel proud. I feel happy. I feel protected and cared for. I feel loved.
13 thoughts on “Submission…What It Means To Me”
Thanks Sassy. Um, the texting thing. If you lived here, you would not text while driving. I will leave it up to Daddy to tell what the penalty is for texting while driving. lol
I’m getting better! Using Siri. Ever since I got pulled over & warned trying harder but I’m the ultimate multitasker so stop lights are safe.
Just saw I tried to leave comment last week about you passing congratulations wifi on the plane wasn’t working. Hope you got the wine.
Lol! We are not allowed to text at lights either.(all though sometimes…) Thanks for the congrats! ANd yes I did get wine. 🙂
This was beautiful and thoughtful. That feeling of respect and trust is so important.
I need to work on that no texting I failed miserably at it,
Very well written Nikki. Do you mind if I share this with my own Dom, as I sometimes have trouble expressing to him exactly how I’m feeling? I occasionally object to things he asks of me (even if I know it is the most sensible option) and I always end up feeling bad afterwards when I finally admit that he was right all along.
Of course Carole! Please feel free to share with anyone you want to share it with. I am glad that I was able to put in writing how so many of us fee.
Thanks for sharing. This made me think, for sure, but especially the last paragraph. Was very reflective.
Thanks! I am glad you enjoyed it.
Good job! There’s more than one writer in the family. Do you mind if I share this on Twitter?
Not at all Lisa. And thanks!
Oh God Nikki Thank You! You expressed your thoughts so beautifully.
You are very welcome 🙂