It seems that this is a topic you are all interested in. Ok my lovelies, let me lead you down this path carefully. Trust me, I will not let you fall. The first thing you need to ask yourself is, what is it that I really want? Do you want a weekend spanking partner, a serious D/s relationship, an age play relationship? Are you seeking real atonement for misbehaviors or just more role play? Or perhaps your desires may even lean darker, maybe bondage, or more of an S&M relationship or experience.
Ok, once you know what you want, you need to put out some feelers. As much as you would like it, the perfect Dom is not going to just knock on your door one day and say “hi looking for me?” You are going to have to find him, or at least put yourself out there so he can find you. So for the purposes of this post, lets say you want a D/s relationship, with spanking as the consequence for your misbehavior. There are some sites like Spank Seek where you can make a profile and search for a Dom. Or Shadowlane and Nu West that have advertisements in their magazines. You want to stay away from sites like alt.com , which is more s&m, and anything that does not have spanking or D/s or DD in the description.
So lets say you are on spanking.com… You need to put up an ad and also get into some chat rooms. Your ad needs to be honest-not only what you are seeking but what you are not. When describing yourself also be honest. Trust me, nothing bugs a Dom more than setting up a session with someone and finding out they are not anything like they described themselves to be. Been there, got a t-shirt and a very uncomfortable evening out of it. So truth, truth, and more truth. So you put up your ad and look, you have a response. Actually, you have alot of responses, so now what do you do? You respond in kind and see if the prospective “Mr. Right” Dom, wants to chat.
So now you are in chat, what do you say? Well first its always a good sign to say sir and be respectful. Tell him your needs, and find out his. Remember, keep it honest. Now pay attention, this is really important and I want all of you to sit up as you are reading this, and pay attention. If he mentions sex, say thank you for responding and get out! No real Dom will bring up sex in a first chat or a first session. Also, no bondage ever, unless you have a trusting relationship. Really trusting, You need to put yourself out there, but you need to feel safe. I always tell nubie subs to rent the movie Strangeland. That movie demonstrate how careful you have to be.
Chat should be fun for you. He should elicit that tingle, with what he says and how he says it. Then, you may want to go a step further and meet. I am going to do my next post on rules for a first session which you will need to burn into your little subbie memories as they are vital in this scene.
As always, be good or else.