Back in the saddle again…


baby(just thought this was cute)



Whew…. It has been a while, huh? I made a promise to my family to devote ALL my energy and focus on them and, although it was wonderful to do so, I am beat!!!! it will be so nice to get back to my routine and write, write, write….

It has been an awesome opportunity to submerse myself in both SJ and Nik’s lives, to see their regular routine, participate in it and feel part, rather than apart, of the family again. Nik has made be very, very proud… She worked hard and earned her collar.  Just a reminder that collaring in DS is not always sexual… In fact, Nik’s symbolizes her promise to keep pure until the right man enters her life. I feel like a proud mama!!! I also noticed a certain maturity that came with earning this symbol.

Which brings us to this point…. Accountability….

I Am SO proud of those of you who have been dropping SJ emails requesting accountability AND following his instructions. The man loves his subbies and it really touches his heart when he sees those who take his advice seriously… As much as it breaks it when others ignore him.

I got to witness him in action these last few weeks… He really puts himself out there for his girls. But, I need to say something…. This is not a game. This lifestyle, especially things like on line dating, relationships, etc… Is serious. None of us want any of you to be a statistic and, I hate to say, but a few are heading down that path.

BE CAREFUL. If there are any warning signs from a potential Dom that indicates abuse.. Nastiness, rudeness, accusations, etc….. Don’t waste your time on the S*O*B*…. Get the hell away from him and do not open the door for him again. we have been seeing too much of that lately. DS is NOT about abuse!!!!! It is one thing if you desire humiliation… Some do… But that should never be the foundation of your relationship. Even those subs who get off on the humiliation factor should be involved in a strong, trusting relationship prior to going down that path.

Predators can sniff out desperation. Please, my girls, do not put yourselves in that situation.  A man who is not gentle, understanding and reasonable is not a Dom.. He is an abuser. I cannot say that enough.

One more thing while I am on my soapbox…. If SJ is the person you are talking to about things, please, talk directly to him. Not only is it disrespectful to him when he is bypassed, but it also puts Nik and myself in a position of second-guessing. None of us will view anyone as a failure if they truly try… But to ask for help and then blow it off…. Welllllllll…….

Soapbox closed.

I love you guys. We are here for you as best as we can be, but ultimately, you are adults and must make decisions for yourself. Please make good ones.



20 thoughts on “Back in the saddle again…

  1. So so SO glad you guys are back! Glad your vacation was good and a huge CONGRATS to Nikki!! That is awesome!! Bree sorry to hear about the girls you’re working with that must be heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time :/

    Nikki I’ll try it and you said THE bad word…oy! 😉

  2. So glad you’re back!! Thank you so much for having this site. I can’t say it enough. I’m so glad I found it. Just a suggestion, but could we maybe have like a subbie corner or something where we can chat about stuff, not the posts? We would still certainly want to reply directly to those. I’ve just noticed that a few of us go on tangents and add other comments not directed to the posts. Not that we would get away from accountability. Boy Sir John can put the fear of hades into you even on the Internet! I know my heart beats faster even seeing a reply fom him.

  3. Hey Isabella,
    Yeah, the absence of chatting was truly an eye opener for me. I, to am glad to be back, and need to practice balance. I also think the beginning of respecting others is about respecting ourselves. Peeps sometimes think that the term sub is equivalent to doormat. NOT. I respect SJ more when I am respectful to myself because I reflect his training. NOT always easy, but something worth working on!
    This was a tough post to write, but it had to be done. I had two girls in my private sessions that had been beat up because they failed to follow protocol….. So use your words and speak loudly if you hear of anyone being foolish!

  4. Glad you’re back. Congratulations to Nikki. You should write more about collaring and what it means sometime. I’m not sure I’ve got all the ins and outs of that. I read the post and started feeling guilty. I may be one of those who doesn’t always following SJ’s advice. He’s very good about helping me so now I feel really bad. I never meant any disrespect. Obedience doesn’t seem to come naturally to me.
    Thanks for all the help and advice from your family.

    • Gigi, my darling… Obdience is the most UNNATURAL thing for any of us! It is about trying our hardest to do what is good and right, for ourselves and others…. Not acting blindly to some pervert we get hooked up with on an online dating sight. You and SJ are working together… And you are good about sharing with him… so there is no disrespect. I will write more about collaringe AND guilt! LOL!
      Behave yourself in the meantime, ok?

  5. Bree,
    Glad you are back. You were greatly missed I assure you. Nikki is so lucky to you and SJ to watch over her. Heck we are all lucky you watch out for us.
    I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who is willing and wanting to pursue a D/s lifestyle with me. New as we are to the lifestyle we are trucking right along.
    That said I have noticed on blogs and on FetLife, which I am a member… mostly to try and find ppl to connect with in my area…. that men calling themselves Dom and tops love to send pictures and nasty comments to new subs/bottoms.
    *****First of if you need to show me your personal stuff and tell me the nasty stuff you want to do then I would not give you the time of day. Dom or not if you need to flaunt it before we have ever met, then you got problems. So DELETE DELETE DELETE! To many crazies in the world.
    I know there have to be some great Doms out there and maybe like my husband you just have to ask and let the man in your life know how you feel. The reaction might just shock the snot out of you. 🙂

    • I LOVE the delete button!!!! And also write a post on that site to warn others about the jerk. Not everybody has access to counselors to help filter out the SOBs. The key is that if ever a doubt, get the hell out!!!

      • I completely agree. Sorry to hear about your girls, that’s a terrible thing to have happen. Hope they were not to seriously injured. Thoughts /prayers going out to them.

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