101 Reasons to Kill Your Dom…

Yeah, Peeps, it’s me! I want to say that life is GOOD. No drama anywhere, John is playing at lots of gigs and my girls and I are having a blast watching him, and I don’t have to deal with the politics of anything since I’m writing full time. You have no idea how wonderful that feels after so many years of BS everything.  I am truly SO happy and content with where things are going

The move is FINALLY over and I am back to work getting the words that keep rattling in my brains onto paper.  Before I go off on my rant, I want to say THANK YOU for all the patience, love and support you have given me during this transition. I also want to thank you for the tremendous success of Two Guardians for Little May!  I believe this has been the best ever and it is all due to you

We also have two MORE books (King Dom Comes and Liars and Tigers Are Bared- Oh My!) in editing right now, and a third almost ready for submission. So, yes, I’ve been a Busy Bree!

Now, with the updates and the 101 ways to kill your Dom.  Bluntly, I’ve been a royal b***h with this move. Communication has been hell for everyone.  I have one nerve left and it is packed somewhere in a box in the garage. Between him and I; him and the subs; the subs and me and my fans; well… watch the video… it tells all!

John busted his butt being a tool. Yeah, poor guy was a total pack mule. It did not take long for all this lifting, loading, unloading, etc. to get old, either. And then, with the help of some friends, he brought over the heavy stuff—sans assembly toolage.  Now, most of us put hardware back in a specific place or in a bag. Nope. Not these guys. They lost half the nuts, bolts, screws, etc. that I need to reassemble everything. Yes, you heard me. I guess, guitar players and keyboardists don’t do those things. Wanna drive me nuts? Lose my tools and the hardware. Grrrr.

On the up side, I’ve lost a ton of weight during the move itself (over 20 lbs!) not counting what I lost before- and am ready for swimsuit season. Oh wait, its October…Damn. The house is totally fab and the neighborhood awesome, quiet and immaculately clean; nice big FLAT sidewalks to take the border collies walking; shopping less than 5 minutes from here (verses the thirty minute drive to the gas station at the old place); pizza delivery; cell service and internet NON-SATELLITE…OMG, the list goes on and on.  No more living off the grid. But, that also brought up some issues about change and adjustment.

So, why would I want to hang the love of my life out the window in a fishnet, dangle him over a yard full of screaming children while playing a CD of Neil Diamond singing to Kenny G sax, and spray sugar water in his face to attract bees? Lemme tell you….

  1. Dom’s don’t like being bossed around. Shocker, right? We have CARPET here so, of course, I want to keep it clean. What part of ‘take your dirty shoes off before you come in the house’ is hard to hear, right?
  2. Speaking of hearing, there is an upstairs and the insulation is amazing. Also convenient when I need him to get off the computer and do some unpacking. I got him a walkie talkie—he won’t use it. I’m starting to hate the stairs for many reasons…
  3. Stairs are for walking to and from the second floor, NOT to pin me down and spank me because he feels like it. Nope….Hard pass
  4. Stairs are also a major nuisance when you have boxes of books and oversized furniture to take up. Oh wait, that’s why I have a Tool…uh, John. How can we tell him, though, that there is no whining in schlepping!
  5. Watching TV in the new living room is NOT considered a date. I don’t care if a pizza is ordered (already getting tired of it); and no, the neighbors cannot hear him spank me down there either. Seriously, dude…
  6. I put a sign on the community bathroom- turn off the light and keep the door open when not in use. I swear, I’m going to disconnect the light and take the handle off the door. AT least he closes the toilet seat- most of the time.
  7. We have a dishwasher now (yay!) Guess where the used dishes are still going? I bought paper plates because I started plotting murder and the knife drawer is waaaaay to close..
  8. My housewarming gift… a tool set. Yep. Okay, I do like my tools and being able to fix things, but come on…although, he DID bring me home an oreo cookie milkshake (that didn’t melt before he got here). Yay being on grid again!

Told you I was being a b***h!

Seriously, he’s a great guy and he has really pushed his ancient body to get this move done for us. As much as I’ve wanted to kill the poor thing, I also want to hug him (after a shower).  My besties (Lily and Isa) are coming to visit in three weeks to warm the house (and their bottoms).  We intend to not only drive him crazy, but also spoil him rotten.  Any ideas? Other than feeding him to the killer Chihuahua-pit bull mix puppy next door…



4 thoughts on “101 Reasons to Kill Your Dom…

  1. That’s so exciting to hear Bree. Congratulations on the new apartment, book, life and weight loss. Losing 20 pounds is a lot you go girl! As for spoiling your lovely husband, um maybe just wrap yourself up with a lovely big red bow, im she he’d love that lol.

  2. Glad you are finally moved into the new digs. I could not live with out my high speed internet. (Did we really use dial up?). Hope you get everything unpacked in a timely manner. Not like us, unpacking boxes 10 years after we moved in here. Relax, kick back, you have earned it.

  3. Sounds like you had a wonderful time moving. That video was great and I loved the new book and looking foward to the next ones. I am so jealous becuase I still have satellite internet and they are running high speed up our way and stopping 1 mile from our house jerks.

  4. Hi BreeBree – I’m glad your move is finally over : ) Moving certainly is a nasty undertaking. Hope you get to enjoy your new place and start making pleasant memories!

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