The Coin has Two Sides

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Hello lovelies,

Last time I listed the top 5 reasons to take on a sub and this week I thought about the top 5 things a Dom needs so he can be a positive Dom for a sub. Sound good? Now this is not about the voice, or having the look etc. this is different. Hang in there it will be fun. Here we go and stop yawning!!!

1) Patience- This is a big one. I think we have established all subbies are crazy, to differing degrees, also very frustrating at times…very. Then add numbers to that and well I think you see my point. You see, a Dom never yells or gets mad. Does that mean the wall in my music room does not have a dent in it from me banging my head? No…it does but that’s just part of the wonderful world of a Dom.

2) Consistency- This is also a big one. A sub cannot trust a Dom fully if he is inconsistent. It’s not easy to be on top of everything, all the time but a Dom must try to be. First, he must have the desire to be, then he has to work at it. As I said, the more subs you train the harder it is but it can be done.

3) Fairness- Though some of you lovelies I do train may disagree at times on your punishments, I think all of you would agree I am always fair. A Dom must listen and evaluate every situation. Maybe the sub has a point? Usually she’s just weaseling but it does happen on occasion and a Dom needs to be open to at least considering inexperience. A Dom will make a sub feel safer and more secure if she knows he knows what he’s doing. If I tell a sub she’s in for the cane she has to feel secure in the knowledge that I know how to use it. It’s scary enough knowing you are going to be punished with an implement if you doubt the Dom’s skill it’s going to turn out badly, even worse if you’re right.

4) Time- It takes time to train a sub and a lot of time to train a lot of subs. If you take that on you must devote time to each one and her special needs as all subs are different. I try to check in on my subbies every day to see if they are ok, have questions, or have done the tasks I have given them etc. It takes time but I love it and it’s all worth it when a subbie begins to blossom in her submission and the D/s lifestyle.

5) Caring- This may be the most important building block for a good D/s relationship. If the Dom does not care about the subbie learning, growing and becoming a better person then why bother? I put all my subs first, I do not put me first…and no I’m not talking about me indulging in my sadistic side and spanking a sub whenever I want. I’m talking about her needs and what will make a positive change in her life. I want all my subs to be happy and feel better about themselves and their life, in general, than they did before they started training with me.

Pay it forward is my mantra. Now there are many other traits a Dom needs but these kind of popped into my Dom brain today so I just went with the flow.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

19 thoughts on “The Coin has Two Sides

  1. Yes Sir you are the Bomb!!! I have grown sense i have known you. Even though it might not look like it. But i really and truly appreciate Everything and yes i mean Everything! You have done and are going to do. Thank you very very much!!

  2. Wow.. I wish I would of met someone like you, 20 years ago. My life is a shambles , but after years of therapy. I am happy and content. I very submissive in heart. But I’ve grown a outer shell so thick that, I myself can’t seem to break.

    I wish there was more out there when I was younger. I hope with the help of Dom’s like you and your wonderful wife. Help more submissive people.

    Thank you for your awesome blog, it makes me smile..

    • Thank you for your kind words Leona . I am glad you have found some happiness , Bree and I are blessed and just want to try and pay it forward when ever we can

    • hello Ruth, I would say I try and help as many as I can as does Bree I have some that have been with me a long time but in general just try and be there for those in need if I feel I can help .Bree is the same way

      • Will do Sir! It’s nice here. I may stay a while longer. Rainbows unicorns lollipops! No canes in sight anywhere. No signs of gauntlets either. You might want to take a trip here too!

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