Ok, now we all eat up the wonderful, sappy reviews, but how about the ones that seriously have no other reason but to try to tear us a new one and make us feel like dirt?
OMG, I LOVE THEM!
Not only do they provide a means of entertainment, but they actually have a purpose. So, for any of you hard working writers out there, these are important things to remember about your haters…if you are privileged enough to get yourselves some. Right now, I have the market on them, so you can just wait your turn! So yes, be jealous. They are MINE.
Curious as to who they are? You will see the same names and comments pop up for every book written… and I am thrilled to death over them. Why?
1. Seek out and Buy My Books!
2. Leave critical and controversial reviews, helping raise the interest level in my audience. Cool, huh?
3. Keep Buying My Books! (Bought me a new computer)
4. Make me feel special because they take to time to pick me out and think about me all hours of the day and night. Wow!
5. Buy More of My Books! (Paid my mortgage for the month)
6. No matter what, they manage to find something to hate… and they will praise another author for the exact same thing. This means I must have left one hell of an impression on them. It is nice to know how influential we can be, doesn’t it? ESPECIALLY when we hit a sore spot.
7. Buy Every one of My Books! (Sending me on a trip to Pennsylvania to visit my bestie)
8. No matter the content, the haters seem to eagerly look forward to the next release so they can have another reason to hate and complain. Ordinarily I would tell them they needed to get spanked, but it’s obvious that they just need a lot of love. And maybe some sex?
9. Buy, Buy, Buy (Make it so I can quite my job and write more books for them to hate)
10. Have a specific agenda that is clear to everyone who reads the reviews. I don’t believe they really want to sound bitter and miserable, but rather want to provide a humorous outlook to what could otherwise be a dreary subject. Let’s face it, positive reviews? I get them all the time, so these babies are pure gold!
I love that my haters live to hate me! As a bruise pusher, that makes me love them even more. It feels so good to know that they feel my books and my life hold such value to them that they spend precious time, money and effort… just for me!
Thanks, Haters! I can’t wait for the next comment on Small Town Sass! I love all of you!