Subbie Advice

But…Fine! Whatever!!!!

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Hello, my little subbies!
Have you missed me?

Okay, lets get right to it..What is up with the heading? I am so glad you asked!
There are three words Doms never want to hear a sub say-

Word #1: But (not to be confused with butt)
Dom: “Nik! Go to the corner,”
Nik: “But…”
Ding, ding, ding! Wrong and thanks for playing! Your reward is the Dana (for those of you who are not aware of the Wallop, Curse of Dana paddle, check this out.. It is a great self spanker, too. Just ask the girls!

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The WALLOP is made with 1/2″ thick High Grade Heavy 3 ply Conveyor Belt with rubber on both sides. The total length including the handle is approximately 14″ long and the spanking surface is 4″ x 3″ with slightly beveled edges. Two 1/4″ Delrin rods connect the spanking surface to the handle. This gives the piece incredible flexibility and whipping action. With little effort you can really apply the sting and pain.
To respond using the word ‘but‘ is the attempt to engage in some sort of subbie weaseling or make excuses, and will only get you in deeper trouble.

Word #2: FINE!
Dom: “Because you had to talk back, you will also be grounded.”
Nik: “Fine!”
Uh oh… Ding, Ding, Ding! Wrong again!
So, for this little smart attitude, your darling bottom gets to meet Miss Dana and Mr. Cane!
To use this word to to end the conversation is just another way of telling your Dom to zip it. NOT a wise move, my dears.

Word#3: Whatever…
This word is bad news for a subbie bottom. Not only is it dismissive and rude, but very disrespectful. Someone I know (Nik) likes to combine the last two words. My, my….
So Miss Dana and Mr. Cane are joined, in love, by the heart paddle…

imageThe Heart Attack Paddle has an overall length of almost 14″. The red heart is approximately 4″ with two flexible Delrin rods holding it to the handle. The heart is made with High Density Polyethylene and features a textured matte surface with beveled edges.  OW!!!
Need I say what this word is equivalent to in the vanilla world? Oh, please feel free to use your imaginations… Because, yes… It is telling your Dom to essentially take a flying leap off a high cliff. And using “Fine, whatever” together… Tsk tsk. You obviously never valued your ability to sit.

So, my poor delusional darlings, I know that, in subbie land, you believe these are perfectly valid responses. They are not …not now.. Not ever.

Now, why would I take the time to tell you these things? It is simple. I truly do care about all of you and am trying to save you some painful consequences here ..
Ask yourself ..okay, so if we can’t talk back, what are we supposed to say?
WITHOUT rolling your eyes, say ‘yes sir’ or, if appropriate, ‘no sir.’
It boggles my mind that subbies fail to grasp this simple rule- no whining …no excuses and no dismissive comments. Bite your tongues! Trust me, quiet is your friend…
Bree always says she won’t have anything but a little stump left in her mouth (and she can be mouthy, trust me), but at least she is able to sit for dinner.

Ahh, I hear it now in subbie harmony
“But, it’s not fair! Okay, Fine! Whatever!!!!!

Try and be good,
SJ

A “Sublic” Service Announcement

 

lines2

So these days I have been spending a lot of time writing lines. You know, those horrible boring lines that go on and on and on forever. And to make matters worse, must do them BB sitting on one of those welcome mats that are made from, I dont know what….razor wire? Anyway, due to the sitting on the horrible matt, it is really important to do those lines as fast as humanly possible. So tonight, I conducted an experiment.

Is it faster to write you lines across the page? Or go down the page writing all of the first word, then moving onto the second word, etc. SO I looks like this

I will always be an obedient sub.

I will always be an obedient sub.

I will always be an obedient sub.

 

Or  is it faster to do it like this

 

I

I

I

I

I

I

then go to the top and add

I will

I will

I will

I will……get it?

 

I always thought the second way of doing it was faster. Just seemed faster. But for the sake of science, I timed it. Turns out it took me 4 minutes 55 seconds to write it the second way. It tool 4 minutes 30 seconds to just write across the page. So there you go! If you have to write lines, now you know which way is fastest.

 

By the way, sitting on the horrible welcome matt? I think it is cruel and unusual punishment. What say you?

First Meeting or Session With Dom…

 

first-date

Ok lovelies, this is a very important post. So sit up straight, no double tasking. Turn the television off, etc..It is time you pay attention as if your life depended on it. Because it just might..

 

Alright, so you have been chatting online with a prospective Dom for a while and he wants to meet. Now it gets real, really fast. Your brain is racing, you ask yourself, am I really going to meet a strange man and submit to him baring my bottom and spanking me?  Well, maybe. I am going to list rules for a first meeting. These are not suggestions they are written in Dom Stone. I want you all to be safe out there, and lets face it, there are a lot of  crazies on the loose. So  write these down or print them out.

  1. Always meet at a public place for a first meeting. Never, ever go to his house. Ever. And never ever bring him to your house. Remember, your safety must be your top priority.
  2. If you meet for dinner, do not drink more than one glass of wine if, even that much.And the same goes for him. If any red flags go up for anything- how he talks, looks, dresses. Even if its a small thing, get out, go home. Listen to your inner voice.
  3. If you are leaning towards having  a session the first time you meet, it must be at a hotel. Not his house. Not your house. Not his brothers million dollar beach house. A hotel. That is your only option. A nice hotel which he pays for. ANd make sure the person checking you in will remember you.
  4. Always drive your own car. Never, ever, go in his. Ever.
  5. Arrange for a friend to call you at a certain time on your cell phone just to make sure you are ok.
  6. Safe Words…This is a tricky one. When I was doing sessions, it was always for real misbehaviors-not role play. So I allowed no safe words. So this is a rare instance where i will let you decide if you want a safe word. If you do, the easy ones are green, yellow, and red. For obvious reason.
  7. No bondage. I do not care if this is your thing and gets you hotter than fireworks in a microwave oven. No and no. Not the first time. Ever!
  8. No sex. Yes, you read this right. A real Dom will not even mention sex in a first session or meeting, and if he brings it up, leave. He just wanted to get you alone for this and he is not a Dom. And honestly, I do not care how much you may want to have sex. Don’t do it. Trust me on this. If it is meant to be, it will be. You do not want to meet someone and jump into bed and then never hear from him again. And believe me, it happens all of the time.
  9. Background checks…I think it is ok for you to do a background check on him however, he may not want to give his real name when you first meet. This does not need to be a deal breaker. Trust me, there are a lot of female maniacs out there too. Use your best judgment and follow your ugt. If you are talking to a guy (or a girl) either on chat, email, or phone and something just doesn’t feel right-trust yourself. Move on. your life is too important to gamble on.
  10. No wood implements. Ok, maybe you love a paddle or even a cane, but you do not know this guy. If he has no experience or skill, you can get seriously hurt. His hand will not damage you, even if he spanks as hard as I do. Plus you have to know he can control you and make him submit with his hand first.
  11. Dress. If he is for real, he will probably tell you what he wants you to wear. However, it is acceptable to insist on a thong if going full bare bottomed is just too scary for you.
  12. After care. If he is not caring, and willing to talk to you about how you are feeling, etc. Forget him. He is just a wanna-be. A Doms main concern in a session is the safety of the sub. Physically and emotionally. Obviously the spanking will hurt. It’s meant to, and you may cry, and you may mark. Thats fine. But you must not be ignored after. Corner time is allowed but you must be comforted after. Ladies, do not waiver here. If he is not offering after care you need to move on.
  13. Follow up. He should email or call you if you have been talking on the phone. And he should do this by the next day. A lot of times I did tis that night to make sure the sub got home safely and was dealing with the experience in a positive way. If he does not contact you by the next day, forget him. Unless he has a really good, valid, excuse. Move on.
  14. Rent the movie Strangeland. If that movie does not scare you into following my rules, nothing will. I want you all to know the feeling of a real Dom taking control and getting a real bare bottomed spanking. But most of all I want you to all be safe.

Thats it from Domland. Be good or else!

SJ

 

 

Finding A Dom Online…

frustrated

 

It seems that this is a topic you are all interested in. Ok my lovelies, let me lead you down this path carefully. Trust me, I will not let you fall. The first thing you need to ask yourself is, what is it that I really want? Do you want a weekend spanking partner,  a serious D/s relationship, an age play relationship? Are you seeking real atonement for misbehaviors or just more role play?  Or perhaps your desires may even lean darker, maybe  bondage, or more of an S&M relationship or experience.

Ok, once you know what you want, you need to put out some feelers. As much as you would like it, the perfect Dom is not going to just knock on your door one day  and say “hi looking for me?”  You are going to have to find him, or at least put yourself out there so he can find you. So for the purposes of this post, lets say you want a D/s relationship, with spanking as the consequence for your misbehavior. There are some sites like Spank Seek  where you can make a profile and search for a Dom. Or  Shadowlane  and Nu West that have advertisements in their magazines. You want to stay away from sites like  alt.com , which is more s&m, and anything that does not have spanking or D/s or DD in the description.

So lets say you are on spanking.com… You  need to put up an ad and also get into some chat rooms.  Your ad needs to be honest-not only what you are seeking but what you are not. When describing yourself also be honest. Trust me, nothing bugs a Dom more than setting up a session with someone and finding out they are not anything like they described themselves to be. Been there,  got a t-shirt and a very uncomfortable evening out of it. So truth, truth, and more truth. So you put up your ad and look, you have a response. Actually, you have alot of responses, so now what do you do?   You respond in kind and see if the prospective “Mr. Right” Dom, wants to chat.

So now you are in chat, what do you say? Well first its always a good sign to say sir and be respectful.  Tell him your needs, and find out his.  Remember, keep it honest. Now pay attention, this is really important and I want all of you to sit up as you are reading this, and pay attention. If he mentions sex, say thank you for responding and get out! No real Dom will bring up sex in a first chat or a first session. Also, no bondage ever, unless you have a trusting relationship. Really trusting, You need to put yourself out there, but you need to feel safe. I always tell nubie subs to rent the movie Strangeland.  That  movie demonstrate how careful you have to be.

Chat should be fun for you. He should elicit that tingle, with what he says and how he says it. Then, you may want to go a step further and meet. I am going to do my next post on rules for a first session which you will need to burn into your little subbie memories as they are vital in this scene.

As always, be good or else.

SJ

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