OMG, so much going on lately that I forget what day of the week it is. The one thing I don’t forget, however, is you guys. You are the ones who make it possible for me to be here and I thank each and every one of you.
I run a group on FB for my Middle/Littles and special friends to play and interact. It is so sweet, fun and wonderful that I can’t help but smile when I check in on them. It has become a place to support one another and promote healing and encouragement. There are no outsiders there- only people who share the same interest/desires- the ‘real deal’ of BDSM. I love the men and women there- they are pure, genuine, loving and nonjudgmental.
Something came up- one of my babies was hurting. Bad. And then another and another…. Emails and chats started coming through- well over twenty and all dealing with the same exact issue. Each of them had been wounded by words. Not in their playground- but by those outside. Even worse, the pain had been inflicted- non-consensually and straight to the heart- through internet communications. Chat, groups, e-mails, posts/threads…The power of the abusive cyber word yielded behind a computer screen by a bully became crushing to their spirits and their trust.
What made it worse was the common thread- an author who used her ‘name’ to lure them in and deliberately intimidate, insult and destroy. I also know many other authors as well as readers who have had the same horrible encounters with this person- really wonderful kind, gentle and honest people who had reached out in trust and were met with a psychotic rage. She has trashed me personally countless times on her blog after confronting her with her behavior (jealousy and immaturity are amazing catalysts to bring out the unstable) with comments and stories that just short of laughable and have entered libel.
But I have to ask-
How does an author, or any public figure, expect to be successful when she leaves a wake of bodies in her path? Not one or two—but hundreds?
As authors, I believe we have a responsibility to our readers to deliver truth, compassion and gratitude. Of course, I don’t expect anyone to reveal their home address, real name or even their actual age- but don’t lie about your lifestyle to gain readers! Don’t pretend to be a Domme or falsely support things like Age-Play to manipulate innocent people who are hungering for a real DS experience. Don’t treat your readers like they are disposable- because they are the most precious gift an author could ask for.
Because FB is so precarious with how things are posted, I decided to allow this to be a venting post. We have the power to say no to abuse of any kind- but true power comes with community involvement. If any of my readers have had problems with a cyber-bully- please let me know. I WILL NOT associate OR promote anyone who behaves in that manner. I also recommend that you let a publisher know if someone like this is causing hurt. One or two emails might not do anything, but there is power in numbers. I know my publisher, Blushing Books, will take a stand to protect our readers AND our authors from anyone who threatens to harm them.
As authors- we can only begin to understand how we affect our fans- good or bad. Please feel free to share your personal experiences and feelings- not to judge- but to let others know that they are not alone, singled out, or in any way wrong in how they feel. I will be watching the threads and doing my best to protect you from counter-attacks. The person referred to above is banned from commenting on this site.