Too Hard, Too Light, Just Right


Hello lovelies,

I thought I would write something a bit different today. In fact I want you all to interact with me on this. I want your feedback on a topic I was thinking about.

I would like to know what denotes a perfect spanking for you. One that if you were talking to your vanilla friends or sister subbies you would say “man he can really spank.”

There are many layers to consider, I know. I would think you all will differ here and there.

Consider a reward or play spanking. Then a punishment spanking.

All otk? All by hand only? Be as detailed as you like. And of course enjoy!!

Be good, or else…


Is it or Isn’t it

Hello lovelies,

I trust you all had a suitably creepy Halloween and if you’re like Bree, got lots of CANDY!!!!!
I was discussing an interesting subject with one of my subbies, she was asking “how do I know if I am in sub space?”

A good question and the simple answer is you will know when you’re in it. That doesn’t tell you much so let me try and clarify.

Hey good rhyme, ok I have wasted enough time, oh man I am on a roll! I digress…

This particular subbie had gotten spanked by someone and she was just spent after. Not really talking and just laying over his knee. He told her it was subspace.

Buzz. Sorry, wrong, but thanks for playing.

For those of you fortunate enough to have experienced sub space you know what I am talking about. For those of you who have not, let me give you some idea. Put simply subspace is bliss. Its a feeling that you do not want to ever come down from. Its a high but not an artificial high, it comes from deep within your being.

I know this sounds hippy dippy to a lot of you but just put on your tye-dyed shirts and listen. A sub space experience is like you’re floating but you feel totally safe and any pain that is being applied you do not register it as such. It’s more of a warm sensual massage that just lets you drift off into your own world.

It’s very unusual that you would be able to speak as any interruption in the experience can throw you out.

Its not like this subbies experience where you’re just tired and lay there after a spanking. That’s not even close and usually it takes a while.

A Dom needs to know what he’s doing to get you there. Its a slow build and has to be done correctly. It usually takes 45 mins to an hour to finally achieve the feeling but once there you will know.

It can also last for quite a while after the session. You can have a big drop once you come down which is why the Dom needs to be nearby to talk you through it and be there for you, maybe to hold you or just be close, all subbies are different.

I guess the easier way to say it is if it feels like something you have had before its probably not sub space.

I can tell you this, once you have been there you definately will want to visit a lot. My sincere hope is you all get there at least once.

Be good, or else…

Different Strokes


Hello lovelies,

I want to talk today about spanking. Yes I know, that’s a surprise SJ! Some of you may not realize how many different kinds of spankings there are. Here in the Hayse house I employ quite a few.

Step this way, the tour is about to begin…


This can involve a lot of things and are usually done in the punishment room: hand, brush, heart paddle, school paddle, strap and if you are really bad the cane, rug beater or my thin whip. Hey, don’t panic on me…I said really bad. Also for the cane or something similar I do use the spanking bench to tie you down so that you don’t move and get the stroke in a very bad area. See what an awesome and considerate Dom I am?

Follow me  to the next stop on the tour…

Reminder spankings:

These can be done anywhere usually just hand and a red bottom but not really painful. It’s  just a reminder to be good today.

Welcome spankings:

This is when you visit, it’s a way of welcoming you to our house and a reminder that you are expected to behave. Again, hand and a red bottom but not really painful.

Sub space:

Now you’re back with me right? This is usually done in the bedroom, on our bed or on our massage table   but could be on the futon in punishment room. Now this is the one time you get to have input. A subspace session is all about you and getting you to that kind of out of body zone. You can request your favorite implements,  how hard , how slow  etc. What I do find is that once you are in the zone you can’t really talk so it’s up to me to keep you there. I try to do at least one of these when a subbie visits.

Reward spankings:

Like a reminder but more of a pleasant sting. These are given if you have been very good.

Thank you for taking the tour…You can make your reservations anytime.

Be good, or else…


And You Can Tell Everybody This is Your Thong

Hello lovelies,

So how cool is that? SJ quoting EJ, lol. Ok, man tough crowd.

Here’s the dealio…When a subbie is having their first session, she is always nervous and a little scared, that’s normal. I usually let her wear a thong the first spanking, for modesty sake.

Now, let’s look at that situation shall we? When you all fantasize about being spanked…oh come on its me, you know you all do it!  You probably fantasize about being OTK and having your dress lifted or jeans taken down, held in place and then your panties taken down to expose your bb right? The humiliation is part of the lesson to be taught.

My question is this, do you feel it’s necessary for the kind of first time spanking experience to have your panties pulled down or, if you are permitted to wear a thong, can it still satisfy the fantasy?

It may seem a benign question but, it can affect a session in different ways. Personally, I feel the sub needs to feel contrite and humiliated, to a point, especially a more mature subbie. But I am also aware of how scary a first session can be. The thought of a Dom you have hardly met seeing you in such a vulnerable position and spanking your bb can drive some subbies to the door fast!! Don’t laugh, its happened.

Does experience trump modesty for you in a session or is it the other way around? As always…

Be good, or else…


Bottom Temperature


Hello lovelies,

No I’m not talking about your bottom’s temperature after a spanking but the temperature in the room before said spanking. This can alter a session greatly by making it kind of pleasurable to downright miserable, depending.

If I am to give a punishment, I prefer the room cool or cold.


Simple, wood or even a hand really stings on a cold bb. Is that a Mr. Meanie thing? Kind of, but remember I said for a punishment.

I do usually have a fan on as subbies tend to hyperventilate a lot and get overheated. See how nice?

Mr. Nice Dom, that has a good ring to it no?

For subspace or pleasure/pain sessions I keep it warmer and more pleasant since the strokes or spanks are not meant to cause punishment level pain. I also have blankets available as a lot  of subbies after a subspace session will drop and get very cold. I have blankets to cover them and make sure they do not get chilled.

See? Mr. Nice Dom, told ya.

So if any of you lovelies are ever in a session and the dom turns up the air its probably time to rethink that punishment book. lol

Now a lot of doms like the room warm so their hand does not sting during the administering of a spanking. I don’t have that problem so cold works very well sting wise, especially for implements like paddles, brushes, and canes. You will notice I did not include straps. I do use a prison strap from time to time but it has to be on a severe level because you all enjoy leather way too much.

Just a little insight into Dom 101 though some of you may say Mr. Meanie 101

Be good, or else…



Much Much More


Hello lovelies,

You seem to like these little stories about my Dom experiences so I thought you might like this and can shake your heads in unison at how crazy this is, lol.

I had a subbie back in the day, she was on the east coast and would visit me once or twice a year, I also trained her online. Now I must say I really liked her but she was in trouble all the time. There was always more spanking than conversation. This one meeting she had been particularly bad and was sentenced to a severe session. A severe session is not out of control beating on some subbie’s bb. It does leave marks that last awhile and usually includes a lot of yelling, begging, and tears so a very enjoyable way to spend an hour.

After a very sound spanking and paddling that had her teary and quite bruised I informed her she would be tied down and given 24 strokes of the cane. She had had the cane from me before so she knew what it was all about, she also knew to mind my instructions to the letter or it would not go well for her. She was quite compliant being tied over the desk and waited for the first stroke. Before I started I told her to count each stroke and thank me. If she forgot we would go back to number one. If she remarked in any other way then back to number one.

Time for you all to shake your heads. I’m on stroke 15 and she starts trying to explain how unfair this caning is, and I might add,  in a very smart mouthed way.

Back to one.

She’s yelling the entire time and squirming as much as the ties will allow and still gets more than she was going to. This happened more than once! What was to be 24 strokes ended up much much more. In fact she told me she had to sit on a pillow on her flight home, something I was quite proud of. She was also striped and sore for days after.

When I asked her why she would be such a smart mouth and get more she just said, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”  Lol, subbies you gotta love ‘em. She did say her outburst was not worth it as she was very uncomfortable at work and a few people commented and asked why she was fidgeting so much in her chair. My sadistic side really enjoyed hearing that, yes I have a sadistic side, did you all think I was awesome all the time? Lol.

Be good, or else…


Fast or Slow?


Hello lovelies,

My post today is really more of an inquiry into your subbie brains. Yes, I know…be afraid…be very afraid. 

As you know the beautiful Breanna Hayse and I have been in a D/s relationship for a very long time. Keeping in the spirit of such and because I love to spank, she gets spankings daily usually at least 3 and if she has been very good a subspace session at night. 

All together now…SJ is awesome!!  

Thank you but I digress. The other day we were doing a pain/pleasure session. It’s similar to subspace but usually the sub does not go that deep and can actually talk and function. Bree wanted me to start with hand and work her up to taking full punishment spanks. We did this and I suggested, since her tolerance was high and the endorphin gods were smiling down on her we should try doing the same build with a strap. She was all for it and actually got to a point she took 4 real punishment strokes after about 35 or so leading up to it. 

Now getting to my inquiry, I am very careful when applying a stroke with a heavy implement such as the strap, thick cane, rug beater, school paddle, etc. To aid me in delivering the stroke to the perfect spot I usually tap or touch her bb with the implement lightly first, then deliver the stroke. Bree and I discussed this after the session and she said she would rather not have any idea when the stroke is coming and would prefer not to feel the implement beforehand.  

In this scenario, as it’s not punishment, she has permission to pick implements, speed and how hard. If it was punishment she would have no say. 

Here are my questions:

1) During a pleasure/pain session do you agree with Bree or do you enjoy knowing the stroke is coming? 

2) During a punishment do you find its more of a deterrent to be punished with fast strokes or slow spaced out ones and again feeling the implement on your bb lightly first or not?

I truly hope you all experience number one soon and number two if deserved. I’m looking forward to your input. 

Be good, or else…



Stronger, Faster


Ok lovelies here’s the deal, as you all know I started spanking female bottoms at 13. Probably started getting my Dom on around 20 or so. The reason I mention this is, I have spanked a lot of bb’s, all sizes, shapes and ages.

However, there is one phenomena I have not ever seen except for one bottom, a very special bottom. I call it Bree’s bionic butt. Now dig this, I did a session with Bree last night, sub space not punishment. I used hand, belt, otk cane, school paddle, wood, and long thin lucite paddles. Even though the strokes were not punishment level some were very hard.

I was pleased as Bree’s bottom was fire red. So, this morning as I bent her over for her morning spanking, yes she gets a spanking every morning, her bottom was not red or marked and not even sore!

Remarkable considering the hand spanks alone were well over 300 and it was an hour session. But bionic butt was just fine, well until I spanked her again then she was cherry red. It’s quite amazing, something I have never encountered in all my spanking adventures.

Bree would rather have marks, I mean after all, you want something to show for an intense spanking right? But alas, not to be, at least not from last night. A punishment session may turn out different but Bree hardly does anything serious enough for a severe session.

I will keep you updated and let you know if anything changes, lol, in the meantime

be good, or else…


OTK or Online


Hello lovelies,

It seems that my last post confused some of you so let me shine a little Dom light on your fog of subbie confusion. First, my fondest wish for all of you is to experience a real, in person punishment session and a subspace one, even just once. Unfortunately, for some of you that is just not in the cards. What to do? The closest thing is to train online with a Dom. Now you have a lot of access to a potential Dom with the internet, complete with chat rooms, websites, messenger etc.

Let me give you a hypothetical situation to try to explain the online aspect a little more. Let’s say you email me (yes it does happen from time to time). You say you are out of control and need a firm hand to reel you in, that you fantasize about spanking and feel it may help you. Now, if I feel you are sincere, I may take you on for training, and no, I do not accept everyone. Only if you are serious and I feel I can help you because at the end of the day this is real not play. From there I tell you what is required and you must agree to all my rules, or we cannot work together. These include: keeping a punishment book, reporting bad behaviors once a week , getting on chat so that we can communicate in real time, agreeing to be obedient and follow all my orders without hesitation (that’s the goal but it usually takes a while for this to happen). Should the need for punishment arise your punishments may include: self spanking, writing lines, grounding, curfew etc. and no I do not care how old you are (though I usually do not train anyone under 35 or so) if a punishment is earned a punishment is received.

If you want to change behaviors then it’s my way or the vanilla way. You are then held accountable to an alpha male, one you cannot manipulate. All those years of getting your own way are gone and you answer to me. Now you all may be thinking “Oh come on SJ, why would I tell you that I’ve misbehaved? Especially if I am going to be punished? After all you’re thousands of miles away, what’s to stop me from just telling you I am being good or faking my punishment?

As a subbie you have one trait that you share with all your subbie sisters and that is guilt. If it were a subbie cup it would not runneth over, it would tsunami. Subbie guilt is like no other and lying to your Dom, someone that cares about you, is taking time to train you, is there for you, and is strict enough to blister your bb, would not be an option. If you did lie, the guilt would eat you up and you would eventually confess but by then your punishment would be much worse.


Now as a self-spanker you cannot possibly spank to the level I could with you in person but, following my orders you would be surprised just how sore your bottom can get. Tears, whining, protests, any kind of manipulation does not work, and I do not care how sore your bottom gets. But, a punishment given over chat is only phase one, phase two is a phone session. For this you call and hear my voice for the session, scolding and ordering your punishment, this is as close to a real, in person session as it gets.

Does it work? I can tell you, honestly, that all the women I have trained have changed their behaviors for the better. So, yes, you bet it works. Will you like it? Yes and no. Yes as you will finally have someone you cannot manipulate. One that will not hesitate to discipline you in the way he sees fit, with you having no say in the matter and no control over your fate. And no, for all the previous reasons, lol. Hope that clears up a little of the online training mystery.

Be good, or else…


The Other Side of the M/s Coin


So lovelies,

It seems I scared a lot of you with my last post. Here’s a little advice, fear what a Dom can do not the Dom, or the Master. Now just as the punishments for bad behaviors are quite severe from a Master, the pleasure/pain sessions are equally as enjoyable.

I thought that might get your attention.

As you know, or maybe you do not, a pain/pleasure session is how subspace is achieved. In the case of an M/s scenario it can be a deep subspace indeed. The bench is used or the bed, with the submissive tied or not. A blindfold or gag is not required but can enhance the sensations. There is usually an anal plug but not necessarily ginger. There is a lot more flexibility in this type of session.

Usually a warm up spanking starts it off and even a Master, when doing this type of session, will allow your feedback…what implements, how hard etc. A lot of the session is up to you. You may make requests, although, once in subspace you will not be able to or want to talk.

Now the main difference in an M/s and a D/s subspace session, for me, is the use of the whip. A submissive that is in an M/s relationship usually loves the whip and her tolerance for pain is usually higher than a D/s submissive.

Floggers are used one or two at a time, of differing weights. If the submissive is not bound these can be used both on the front and the back. The whips are used front and back also but the long stingy whip is used mostly on her bottom, thighs and back. I also do a lot of tapping with various implements, usually canes. Even if you hate the cane a pain/pleasure tapping is very enjoyable and sensual.

The session would go on for about an hour or so. After all the spanks are given a full muscle massage over an oiled body would be applied. This can last a while but it is amazing after a long session. Sometimes the sub is just so into subspace she is asleep. When this occurs I watch her, but let her absorb the experience. If she is just on the verge of subspace then the massage usually puts her over. This is when you will be very grateful your Dom/Master has strong hands.

Still scared?

You see a Dom must have a giving, kind side as well as a strong disciplinarian side. A Master, the same but up about 5 notches or so. It’s all about intensity, and a pain/pleasure session is all about you, a gift   from your Dom or Master. So you see, not scary right? Plus if you behave you get more of these than you do the other.

Be good, or else…


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