John and I are getting quite a bit of flack regarding sending out the warning about this guy, who knowingly violated the personal space of two women. They don’t like us calling him a predator, although his actions are repetitive and known to occur because ‘that’s how he is’. They don’t like us calling him a molester- even though he touches/kisses personal areas without asking. They don’t like us giving a name, description or setting forth a warning. My question, what if it was you who is the next victim of his ‘admiration’?
I wanted to share my response regarding the request to remove the information we have given…I have altered names to protect the victims, but otherwise, it is unchanged. Here goes…
I stand by my choice that the fact these people KNOW how he is (quoting the victim) and to still allow this behavior to continue indicates an ongoing practice of ‘poor judgment’ that is either ignored, unaddressed, or viewed as nonessential. I cannot wait, in good conscience, for someone to be injured before a warning goes out about this. As you know, the fight or flight mechanism does not strike everyone at the time of an event, and these leaves the victims assuming the responsibility for something the top should have respected and honored- or at least asked. He did not do so. He assumed and took advantage of VICTIM in a vulnerable position. Morally and ethically, what he did was wrong and he does it to others.
I know he pays for play. If the concern that he will be shut down, thus loosing revenue for women he hires, takes precedence in determining the allowance of him continuing with such as activity at open parties, then there is a conflict of interest that clearly favors those who are concerned about income rather than the safety of others.
Why must someone get hurt before something is done to stop it, especially in the case where he is known to repeat these activities? I have a duty to my readers to protect them from anyone who might cause them harm. All it takes is one– the wrong one– and all this fun everyone is having can be shut down. I don’t wish that anymore than you, so I need to do what I can to protect those girls who don’t know any better or think it will never happen to them. I don’t care about his reputation (it is already questionable from what I am told), nor do I care about his paid play partners and their incomes. He needs to stay in that mode. I care about the little girl who he touches and it sends her into a panic. I care about the ones out there who don’t know what to expect, thinking that because he is old, he is going to be respectful and not take advantage of them. I care about the victims of molestation who blame themselves for something another person did to them and who were too scared and confused to do anything about it.
I’ve worked raped and molestation cases. Cases were the victim was found to be at FAULT because she dressed in a way that invited the criminal to hurt her. I have personally witnessed men being let loose because the victim was too scared to say no- date rape cases are notorious for that.. The person who is hurt is the victim and it is something she has to live with, shamefully and with regret, for the rest of her life.
I was one of these, fyi. I was gang banged by my ex-husband and his buddies, and there was NOTHING I could do about it because I did not say no. Fear silences you. I will NOT turn a blind eye to anyone, especially MY GIRL, who are victims of even a dirty old man who invades their personal space.
Final word, the fact that THE VICTIMS had to bring this to the attention of the party organizer; the fact that this guy has a reputation of violating personal space and is still allowed to participate in these parties; and the fact that my GIRL is being left to feel she is at fault for something he chose to do, indicates that this is a significant issue that cannot go ignored. I have done what I can do to protect the people who look to me for advice, my readers. Maybe one girl can be saved and that will be fine by me.