Too Hard, Too Light, Just Right

2015-12-14

Hello lovelies,

I thought I would write something a bit different today. In fact I want you all to interact with me on this. I want your feedback on a topic I was thinking about.

I would like to know what denotes a perfect spanking for you. One that if you were talking to your vanilla friends or sister subbies you would say “man he can really spank.”

There are many layers to consider, I know. I would think you all will differ here and there.

Consider a reward or play spanking. Then a punishment spanking.

All otk? All by hand only? Be as detailed as you like. And of course enjoy!!

Be good, or else…

SJ

Subbie Guilt

2015-11-07

Hello lovelies,

I am sure you are all familiar with this heading yes?  I mean subbie’s have more guilt than anyone I know. I love you all but you know it’s true.

I did a session not too long ago. It was a punishment session resulting in marks and a lot of tears, as these kinds of sessions often do. Now during this session something happened. As you all know I am sadistic, but I am all about you being safe in a session so I monitor you closely.

This particular subbie had been hand spanked to tears and was then put over the spanking bench and secured. Her transgressions were serious so she had a paddling and a caning coming. I decided to use the heart first, which as some of you know burns like fire especially on a sore bottom. During this part of her spanking she began to cry again but her breathing became erratic. That’s wasn’t good as she started to hyperventilate, so much so I had to stop and calm her down before her cane strokes.

I had decided to end the session after the cane as I felt she may be at risk if I went any longer. After calming her down I gave her 12 strokes and she was done. I did aftercare, held her, forgave her and made sure she was ok.

It seemed she was so I went downstairs and she went into the living room. When I came in to check on her she was crying. I asked what was wrong and she said she felt bad she could not take what I had planned for her!

I did say you all have more than your share of guilt to drag around did I not? Lol

I explained to her that it’s never a question of me being disappointed if you can’t take as much as I planned for you . It is always a matter of you being safe. You need to learn a lesson, of course, but not at the expense of your health (physical/mental/emotional).

I want you all to get this…a punishment session is meant to hurt but it’s not a matter of taking so much or disappointing me. Every subbie is different. Some can take a lot, some not so much. The important thing is that you feel punished and can let go of the guilt after. Not to put more guilt on top by thinking you disappointed your Dom by not taking enough , that’s not an issue.

You all have enough guilt. Don’t add to it! Lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Feelings and Emotions: Arrrgh!

Hello my lovelies,

How is everyone?

I have a query for all of you and would welcome your input. I was doing a session with one of my subbies, a very sweet newbie. She was not in serious trouble but it was a phone session. It was for a behavior I do not like.

You see, in phone sessions, the subbie cannot fake anything. I hear it all. The self spanks are always much harder and longer.

The session went as usual, and after she was forgiven with hugs I signed off. Later I get an email saying, she was upset and felt angry during the session. Mostly, wanting to cuss and be defiant, even though she did not act that way. She could not understand why she felt like this and was feeling very guilty, as all subs do. She’s very obedient, especially for a newbie, so this is way out of character.

What do you think?

I have a theory… I think a lot of subbies will push, newbies especially but even experienced subs, (Bree still pushes me on occasion). The reason this happens is that they want to know nothing has changed. Security and trust comes from consistency, so if I call them on it it seems all is good and balanced even though they get spanked and whine about how mean I am.

I also asked one of my more experienced subbies what she thought. She’s very smart and intuitive so her take was a bit different. She thought that as an independent woman used to being in control it’s a hard adjustment sometimes. So when you are in a session being disciplined you obviously have no control and sometimes that switch clicks and you just want even a little control. You get defiant or angry or you act out, even knowing there are consequences, because it gives you a little control, if only for a few minutes.

Have any of you gone through this? I know my subbies have. What do you think?

D/s is very powerful is it not?

Be good, or else…

SJ

On your marks. Get set. Spank!

Hello lovelies,

Today is a post about something I talk to a lot of my subbies about… marks.

Some of you may be thinking…Ok SJ we know you’re kind of Dom crazy but marks?

Oh yes, not only marks I feel a sub may deserve but marks she may request!

Did you fall off your collective chits? Still with me here?  lol

Let’s look behind door number one…

Deserved marks…There are some offenses I feel need severity and with severity comes marks, bruising or striping, even welts are not unusual. Now before you all start a campaign to order hit man, my subs all know this out front. I discuss behaviors, consequences and inform them their bottoms can be marked and will be if necessary.

Door number two…

Requested marks…No it’s not a typo. Many of my subbies ask for marks. I can hear some of you…ok SJ we know subbies be crazy but what?? Ask for marks?? It’s true. Now why would that be? Well let’s look behind door number 3…

A showing of penance…Let’s say one of you lovelies were visiting and had a very serious offense for me to take care of, that would be very very painful. I have had subbies say to me at least they had something to show for what they had to go through. Not to mention that’s’ a powerful incentive to behave. Every time you look in the mirror you will think about that session and why your bottom is marked, right?

Of course, I love putting my marks on a subbies bb, lol. Good to be the Dom.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

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