But I Want to be Perfect

 

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Hello lovelies,

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this from the subbies I work with.  Let me cut to the chase, nobody is perfect and no Dom expects you to be.

When I take on a newbie it’s generally because she has some things she would like help with. Usually there might be some bad habits or behaviors etc. requiring a little more motivation.

Just the nature of that statement should tell you that I expect a newbie to mess up. Otherwise why would she ask for my help?

Let me assure all of you, no Dom expects you to be perfect. I know for a lot of you, pleasing your Dom is very important, and it should be, but don’t beat yourself up when you misbehave or break a rule.

Speaking for myself, this never makes me angry. My subbies will tell you I don’t get mad but breaking a rule over and over does get me frustrated. After I hit that point I begin working on that hole in my music room where I bang my head…and not in the heavy metal way lol.

My point is this… to all my subbies, experienced and newbies, and to all of you that read the posts, don’t try for perfection. It’s not going to happen and when you mess up take your discipline and learn from it. But do not get depressed or upset that you disappointed me or your Doms. Trust me, I know it’s going to happen from time to time.

I mean if you were perfect why would you need a Dom right? However, I am not saying you shouldn’t at least try to be a well behaved subbie but let’s face it, nobody is good 100% of the time. Just know I am aware of that as are you so relax and   just be you. That’s what D/s is all about, a place where you can be who you truly are.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Too Hard, Too Light, Just Right

2015-12-14

Hello lovelies,

I thought I would write something a bit different today. In fact I want you all to interact with me on this. I want your feedback on a topic I was thinking about.

I would like to know what denotes a perfect spanking for you. One that if you were talking to your vanilla friends or sister subbies you would say “man he can really spank.”

There are many layers to consider, I know. I would think you all will differ here and there.

Consider a reward or play spanking. Then a punishment spanking.

All otk? All by hand only? Be as detailed as you like. And of course enjoy!!

Be good, or else…

SJ

Subbie Guilt

2015-11-07

Hello lovelies,

I am sure you are all familiar with this heading yes?  I mean subbie’s have more guilt than anyone I know. I love you all but you know it’s true.

I did a session not too long ago. It was a punishment session resulting in marks and a lot of tears, as these kinds of sessions often do. Now during this session something happened. As you all know I am sadistic, but I am all about you being safe in a session so I monitor you closely.

This particular subbie had been hand spanked to tears and was then put over the spanking bench and secured. Her transgressions were serious so she had a paddling and a caning coming. I decided to use the heart first, which as some of you know burns like fire especially on a sore bottom. During this part of her spanking she began to cry again but her breathing became erratic. That’s wasn’t good as she started to hyperventilate, so much so I had to stop and calm her down before her cane strokes.

I had decided to end the session after the cane as I felt she may be at risk if I went any longer. After calming her down I gave her 12 strokes and she was done. I did aftercare, held her, forgave her and made sure she was ok.

It seemed she was so I went downstairs and she went into the living room. When I came in to check on her she was crying. I asked what was wrong and she said she felt bad she could not take what I had planned for her!

I did say you all have more than your share of guilt to drag around did I not? Lol

I explained to her that it’s never a question of me being disappointed if you can’t take as much as I planned for you . It is always a matter of you being safe. You need to learn a lesson, of course, but not at the expense of your health (physical/mental/emotional).

I want you all to get this…a punishment session is meant to hurt but it’s not a matter of taking so much or disappointing me. Every subbie is different. Some can take a lot, some not so much. The important thing is that you feel punished and can let go of the guilt after. Not to put more guilt on top by thinking you disappointed your Dom by not taking enough , that’s not an issue.

You all have enough guilt. Don’t add to it! Lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Feelings and Emotions: Arrrgh!

Hello my lovelies,

How is everyone?

I have a query for all of you and would welcome your input. I was doing a session with one of my subbies, a very sweet newbie. She was not in serious trouble but it was a phone session. It was for a behavior I do not like.

You see, in phone sessions, the subbie cannot fake anything. I hear it all. The self spanks are always much harder and longer.

The session went as usual, and after she was forgiven with hugs I signed off. Later I get an email saying, she was upset and felt angry during the session. Mostly, wanting to cuss and be defiant, even though she did not act that way. She could not understand why she felt like this and was feeling very guilty, as all subs do. She’s very obedient, especially for a newbie, so this is way out of character.

What do you think?

I have a theory… I think a lot of subbies will push, newbies especially but even experienced subs, (Bree still pushes me on occasion). The reason this happens is that they want to know nothing has changed. Security and trust comes from consistency, so if I call them on it it seems all is good and balanced even though they get spanked and whine about how mean I am.

I also asked one of my more experienced subbies what she thought. She’s very smart and intuitive so her take was a bit different. She thought that as an independent woman used to being in control it’s a hard adjustment sometimes. So when you are in a session being disciplined you obviously have no control and sometimes that switch clicks and you just want even a little control. You get defiant or angry or you act out, even knowing there are consequences, because it gives you a little control, if only for a few minutes.

Have any of you gone through this? I know my subbies have. What do you think?

D/s is very powerful is it not?

Be good, or else…

SJ

On your marks. Get set. Spank!

Hello lovelies,

Today is a post about something I talk to a lot of my subbies about… marks.

Some of you may be thinking…Ok SJ we know you’re kind of Dom crazy but marks?

Oh yes, not only marks I feel a sub may deserve but marks she may request!

Did you fall off your collective chits? Still with me here?  lol

Let’s look behind door number one…

Deserved marks…There are some offenses I feel need severity and with severity comes marks, bruising or striping, even welts are not unusual. Now before you all start a campaign to order hit man, my subs all know this out front. I discuss behaviors, consequences and inform them their bottoms can be marked and will be if necessary.

Door number two…

Requested marks…No it’s not a typo. Many of my subbies ask for marks. I can hear some of you…ok SJ we know subbies be crazy but what?? Ask for marks?? It’s true. Now why would that be? Well let’s look behind door number 3…

A showing of penance…Let’s say one of you lovelies were visiting and had a very serious offense for me to take care of, that would be very very painful. I have had subbies say to me at least they had something to show for what they had to go through. Not to mention that’s’ a powerful incentive to behave. Every time you look in the mirror you will think about that session and why your bottom is marked, right?

Of course, I love putting my marks on a subbies bb, lol. Good to be the Dom.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

Different Strokes

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Hello lovelies,

I want to talk today about spanking. Yes I know, that’s a surprise SJ! Some of you may not realize how many different kinds of spankings there are. Here in the Hayse house I employ quite a few.

Step this way, the tour is about to begin…

Punishment:

This can involve a lot of things and are usually done in the punishment room: hand, brush, heart paddle, school paddle, strap and if you are really bad the cane, rug beater or my thin whip. Hey, don’t panic on me…I said really bad. Also for the cane or something similar I do use the spanking bench to tie you down so that you don’t move and get the stroke in a very bad area. See what an awesome and considerate Dom I am?

Follow me  to the next stop on the tour…

Reminder spankings:

These can be done anywhere usually just hand and a red bottom but not really painful. It’s  just a reminder to be good today.

Welcome spankings:

This is when you visit, it’s a way of welcoming you to our house and a reminder that you are expected to behave. Again, hand and a red bottom but not really painful.

Sub space:

Now you’re back with me right? This is usually done in the bedroom, on our bed or on our massage table   but could be on the futon in punishment room. Now this is the one time you get to have input. A subspace session is all about you and getting you to that kind of out of body zone. You can request your favorite implements,  how hard , how slow  etc. What I do find is that once you are in the zone you can’t really talk so it’s up to me to keep you there. I try to do at least one of these when a subbie visits.

Reward spankings:

Like a reminder but more of a pleasant sting. These are given if you have been very good.

Thank you for taking the tour…You can make your reservations anytime.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Bottom Temperature

2015-07-01

Hello lovelies,

No I’m not talking about your bottom’s temperature after a spanking but the temperature in the room before said spanking. This can alter a session greatly by making it kind of pleasurable to downright miserable, depending.

If I am to give a punishment, I prefer the room cool or cold.

Why?

Simple, wood or even a hand really stings on a cold bb. Is that a Mr. Meanie thing? Kind of, but remember I said for a punishment.

I do usually have a fan on as subbies tend to hyperventilate a lot and get overheated. See how nice?

Mr. Nice Dom, that has a good ring to it no?

For subspace or pleasure/pain sessions I keep it warmer and more pleasant since the strokes or spanks are not meant to cause punishment level pain. I also have blankets available as a lot  of subbies after a subspace session will drop and get very cold. I have blankets to cover them and make sure they do not get chilled.

See? Mr. Nice Dom, told ya.

So if any of you lovelies are ever in a session and the dom turns up the air its probably time to rethink that punishment book. lol

Now a lot of doms like the room warm so their hand does not sting during the administering of a spanking. I don’t have that problem so cold works very well sting wise, especially for implements like paddles, brushes, and canes. You will notice I did not include straps. I do use a prison strap from time to time but it has to be on a severe level because you all enjoy leather way too much.

Just a little insight into Dom 101 though some of you may say Mr. Meanie 101

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

Subbies say the Darndest Things

Ryan-Gosling-Oh-No-You-Didnt-Half-Nelson

 

Hello lovelies,

I was going to continue my post from last time and include females that should be spanked in 2015 but, I  was thinking about all the excuses I have heard over the years from subbies regarding having their punishment books turned in on time. Here are some of my favorites and yes, I have really heard these at one time or another:

  1. I was abducted by aliens.
  2. I thought we were done with that?
  3. I did not want to depress you.
  4. Someone broke in last night and stole my book!
  5. What book?
  6. I had a blister on my finger and could not write.
  7. I don’t want to.
  8. My computer exploded.
  9. I was caught in a tornado…(She lived in California)
  10. I thought it was subbie no book week.
  11. Was that due today?
  12. I think I have malaria.
  13. Why are you so mean?
And my favorite…My dog ate it, lol.
Yes you are all creative but crazy. Thanks for being that way!
Be good, or else…
SJ

Much Much More

0370_clips4sale_NWV-369-Roxannes-Severe-Caning

Hello lovelies,

You seem to like these little stories about my Dom experiences so I thought you might like this and can shake your heads in unison at how crazy this is, lol.

I had a subbie back in the day, she was on the east coast and would visit me once or twice a year, I also trained her online. Now I must say I really liked her but she was in trouble all the time. There was always more spanking than conversation. This one meeting she had been particularly bad and was sentenced to a severe session. A severe session is not out of control beating on some subbie’s bb. It does leave marks that last awhile and usually includes a lot of yelling, begging, and tears so a very enjoyable way to spend an hour.

After a very sound spanking and paddling that had her teary and quite bruised I informed her she would be tied down and given 24 strokes of the cane. She had had the cane from me before so she knew what it was all about, she also knew to mind my instructions to the letter or it would not go well for her. She was quite compliant being tied over the desk and waited for the first stroke. Before I started I told her to count each stroke and thank me. If she forgot we would go back to number one. If she remarked in any other way then back to number one.

Time for you all to shake your heads. I’m on stroke 15 and she starts trying to explain how unfair this caning is, and I might add,  in a very smart mouthed way.

Back to one.

She’s yelling the entire time and squirming as much as the ties will allow and still gets more than she was going to. This happened more than once! What was to be 24 strokes ended up much much more. In fact she told me she had to sit on a pillow on her flight home, something I was quite proud of. She was also striped and sore for days after.

When I asked her why she would be such a smart mouth and get more she just said, “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”  Lol, subbies you gotta love ‘em. She did say her outburst was not worth it as she was very uncomfortable at work and a few people commented and asked why she was fidgeting so much in her chair. My sadistic side really enjoyed hearing that, yes I have a sadistic side, did you all think I was awesome all the time? Lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Subbies be Crazy

2015-04-19

Hello lovelies,

The last post was kind of heavy so this week back to my usual. You all seem to like my stories about my D/s past so here’s one you may find amusing.

Back when cds were really big and had smaller holes…they were called records…I was doing a lot of in person sessions. For a while I was doing double sessions, in other words more than one subbie in a session. This was very enjoyable as I had two bb’s to spank, plus could watch the subbies spank each other. Hey we all have our thing, no hatin’ lol.

For this session I had two women come over. I told them each about the other and thought they would get along. Since each was due a punishment session it seemed a good idea to do it together.  Now as you know I care about my subbies and always want them to have the best experience. That does not mean they can sit down after a punishment but just that there is no big drama.

I had them come over, they met and all was good. I went to the market and told them both to behave, I’m sure you see where this may be going. Now these women both had sound spankings coming so why they would add to that I don’t know but as I always say…subbies be crazy.

When I got back I heard yelling and what sounded like a fight through my door. I go in and its a cat fight with yelling and pulling hair. I broke it up and asked them what in the world was going on. Of course, each one blamed the other one and they were yelling. I really felt bad because I set this up and now the whole evening was blown.

They could see I was upset about the way things turned out and then…wait for it…they started laughing! They had decided it would be funny to pretend to hate each other and get my reaction. They had a good laugh for about 30 seconds. What followed was a corner, lecture for both then sound bb hair brushings. Plus I made them spank each other. The one with the least red bottom got it from me. I had a great time, they, not so much from what I remember lol.

Of course, after this punishment came their book punishments. They were really sorry they pulled this prank as now, the book punishments were applied to very sore bb’s. Oh well, didn’t hurt me a bit lol. All was resolved later and I did have more sessions with the two of them but I could not help but think as they both were sniffling red bb’s in the corner…subbies be crazy.

Be good, or else…

SJ

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