What’s your Spanko Number?


We were reminiscing about our past and current spanking experiences, especially after John’s latest posts on his first experiences. I found this fun little quiz that has a bunch of spanking related questions. You get one point for each thing you’ve done/participated in. Our numbers are:

Bree: 100

John: 96

What have you done?

1. Posted to a spanking newsgroup/bulletin board/mailing list?
2. Bought/downloaded spanking pictures?
3. Bought/downloaded spanking magazines or literature?
4. Been in a spanking chat room?
5. Bought spanking-related books in a real bookstore?
6. Written a spanking story?   Duh! spanking story? try40+!!
7. Looked up the word “spank” in the dictionary?
8. Bought/watched a spanking video?
9. Cyber-spanked someone or been cyber-spanked?
10. Watched someone else get spanked in real life?
11. Been to a fetish shop such as Kinematics or Stormy Leather?
12. Purchased toys specifically for spanking?
13. Made your own spanking toys?
14. Spent more than $100 on a single spanking toy?
15. Owned 10 or more spanking toys?
16. Had a spanking fantasy while masturbating?
17. Had a spanking fantasy about a real life spanking you’d seen/read about?
18. Had a spanking fantasy while having sex?
19. Spanked/been spanked while touching intimately?
20. Spanked/been spanked during sex?
21. Given/had an orgasm while spanking/being spanked?
22. Spanked/been spanked with no specifically sexual overtones whatsoever?
23. Spanked/been spanked on the bare bottom?
24. Spanked/been spanked for more than 10 minutes?
25. Spanked/been spanked for more than an hour?
26. Been involved in a situation where if something went wrong, the only means to stop the scene was a safe word?
27. Used your safe word/ had someone use their safe word?
28. Spanked/been spanked where there was no safe word?

Spanked/been spanked with:

29. A hand?
30. Paddle?
31. Hairbrush?
32. Ruler?
33. Spoon?
34. Cane?
35. Switch/birch?
36. Crop?
37. Belt/strap?
38. Flogger/whip?
39. Implement with holes?
40. Ordinary object not intended for spanking, such as a remote control or shoe?

Have you ever:

41. Broken a toy (over someone’s bottom) during spanking play?
42. Switched? (been spanked if you are primarily a top, or spanked someone if you are primarily a bottom)
43. Spanked/been spanked on the back of the thighs?
44. Spanked/been spanked on the front of/inside of the thighs?
45. Spanked/been spanked on the breasts/genitals?
46. Wet your/your partner’s bottom to make it sting more?
47. Spanked/been spanked outside?
48. Spanked/been spanked in a hotel?
49. Spanked/been spanked in a car?
50. Spanked/been spanked in a bath, shower or hot tub?
51. Made someone do something/been made to do something they/you did not want to do?
52. Punished someone/been punished for not doing something correctly or refusing to do something in a scene?
53. Punished someone/been punished for a real life issue?
54. Used spanking “talk”? (ie “You’ve been very naughty,” “I’ll be good.” etc.)
55. Been involved in the acting out of a roleplay fantasy?
56. Been involved in the acting out of an ageplay fantasy?
57. Asked for/been asked for a spanking?
58. Made someone/been made to count the spanks?
59. Made someone stand/stood in the corner?
60. Made someone stand/stood in the corner for more than 5 minutes?
61. Been provoked/provoked someone into spanking you by acting like a brat?
62. Deliberately disobeyed/had someone deliberately disobey, in order to get spanked?
63. Kept a list of “infractions” to spank/be spanked for later?
64. Spanked yourself?
65. Spanked yourself at the instruction of someone else/instructed someone to spank him/herself?
66. Required someone to/been required to call someone Sir/Ma’am, Master/Mistress, Mommy/Daddy, some-other-variation during spanking play?
67. Met someone specifically for spanking play?
68. Traveled more than 100 miles to spank/be spanked?
69. Placed/answered a spanking personal?
70. Gone to a play party or club?
71. Participated in play with someone at a play party or club?
72. Spanked/been spanked by someone whose name you didn’t know?
73. Paid or been paid to spank someone?
74. Been involved in a spanking scene with more than one person at a time?
75. Spanked/been spanked by both men and women? (not necessarily at the same time)
76. Spanked/been spanked on a spanking horse or some other piece of furniture specifically designed for spanking?
77. Made videotapes of your spanking play?
78. Taken pictures of/had your partner take pictures of you during or after spanking play?
79. Admired your/your partner’s bottom in the mirror after a spanking?
80. Spanked someone/been spanked nude?
81. Bought new underwear specifically for spanking play?
82. Worn fetish clothing (schoolgirl outfit, leather, etc?)
83. Worn fetish clothing in public?
84. Spanked/been spanked so that the spankee had trouble sitting afterward?
85. Spanked/been spanked so that the spankee had trouble sitting the next day?
86. Spanked/been spanked so there were marks/bruises showing?
87. Spanked/been spanked so there were marks/bruises showing for more than a day?
88. Had to explain your marks to a vanilla person?

Been involved with any of the following in connection with spanking play?

89. Restraint (ie. holding someone down, trapping their legs, etc.)
90. Restraint with ropes, cuffs, scarves or other bondage toys?
91. Blindfolds?
92. Gags?
93. Nipple clamps/clothespins?
94. Icy hot or some other heat-enhancing cream?
95. Ginger root or some other burning/stinging substance inserted anally?
96. A butt plug, dildo or vibrator?
97. Mouthsoaping?
98. Enemas?
99. Temperature taking?
100. Cried/made someone cry from a spanking?

Now we’re curious…what’s your number?

Implement Problem?

Do you have an implement problem?



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We at H & Associates can help! We’ve worked on scores of cases with great success.* Evicting those that have caused issues in your home is the first step.

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Our greatest success comes from ridding you of implements of the rubber variety. Don’t be fooled by their smooth exterior, they mean to cause you pain. Many of our clients have gone to extreme lengths to rid themselves of their problem only to find the methods ineffective and the problem returning tenfold.


Don’t wait, call today before red is the new standard in your home.



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Bratting Overboard


Hello lovelies, are you all behaving? Uh…never mind! LOL!

Okay,this post will be quite different from the usual as it involves a really strange and bizarre incident. As you all know, I am married to the beautiful Breanna Hayse…smart, funny and usually as close to a perfect sub as I have ever encountered. However, a few days ago she kind of lost her mind.

Let me give you some background:

First, we are a D/s couple 24/7. Bree has boundaries that she knows not to cross and 99.9% of the time she respects them. Now, Bree got sick. I mean really sick; throwing up, migraines, aches, sore throat, the whole deal. I was doing my best to take care of her, but she always says “oh, I am fine and can take care of myself.” Sure, I can relate since I am much the same way, BUT the difference is whereas I can care for myself, she cannot! She stubbornly refuses to admit when she is sick. In fact, she reminds me of the knight in the old Monty Python movie who gets his arm cut off in battle and continues to fight stating “ Its just a flesh wound!” Get the picture? Beyond stubborn!

Fast forward to day two. Bree is still sick but decides she wants to go to the beach. I, of course, said no. I mean; someone had to be the voice of sanity after all. Bree does not like being told no. However, being the good, obedient sub that she usually is (since she could tell I was serious) she went to pout in the bedroom and work on a book. Since I always leave her alone to write, I went into my studio to practice my guitar. I checked in on her an hour later. She was not in the bedroom. I called for her, thinking she was in another part of the house. No answer. Hmmm, it was sunny out, so maybe she decided to go outside on the deck to write.

Not only was Miss Bree gone, but so was her car!

This was unbelievable, in the 12 years we have been together; she has never just gone somewhere without telling me. More so, I could not believe she would openly defy me! Seriously, this is the stuff I expect from my other girls, but not my Bree. I started to call her cell with the intent to tell her to get back home immediately when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

Dom’s honor, this is true. Breanna Hayse had climbed half way up a large tree on our property! I marched right over to her and asked what in the world she thought she was doing, especially since she was sick and worse, climbing this big oak tree which, if she fell, could break her blessed neck! Her answer?

She hid her face and pretended that she had morphed into a chameleon and could not be seen.


I was not happy. The border collies, of course, were making a racket, so I took them into the house. As soon as I was out of sight, she climbed down and then tried to hide in a little raised fort we have on our property’s playground. You can imagine my annoyance by this time.

I ordered her to come down.

She said ‘NO!’

I told her to come down or I would get her down.

She said ‘NO!’ again.

Okay, annoyed times ten and growing. I even said “please” and informed her that I did not want to tweak by dragging her out of there. Would you believe?

She said, “NO!” to me a THIRD time.

Next thing you know, I was dragging her sorry little butt out (listening to her whine for scraping her knee) and marched her by the ear to the house. That bratty bare bottom was put right into the corner with instructions to stay put until she was ready to apologize.

Bree hates the corner.

Now, for all of you that are rolling on the floor in laughter (and cheering her on, thank you  Piper), let me say that this was not amusing. Remember, she was sick and the possibility of falling out of the tree and getting seriously hurt was very real.

Does it stop there? While she is in the corner, she starts being sassy with me! 

That was it. That bratty bottom was OTK in a matter of seconds for a nice, hard spanking, but…and I want you all to get, she only got THREE spanks! THREE!!!!!! By her reaction, you would think she was trying out for the victim in the Saw movies. I got the whole gamut—tears, hyperventilating (she was stuffed up and couldn’t breathe anyway) and shaking. Stop laughing, Piper. I know exactly who taught her these moves!

I finally got her to answer why she was so angry with me. Do you know what she said?

Get this…“Your spanking HURT!”

Spankings are SUPPOSED to hurt! And all this fuss after only THREE spanks that she deserved for acting like a child. But this is hardly the end of your favorite author’s fate, my lovelies…

Since she made me worry on purpose by hiding her car and leading me to believe that she left, she will endure a real punishment session in this coming week. Thanks to the generosity of my girls and several fans with Caniac gift certificates, Bree bought a bunch of new implements. Implements that she had planned to use on my other little hellion, might I add, they are all quite severe in nature. Can you guess who gets to try every one of them out?

Don’t worry; she will post about the experience once it is completed.

So, is there a lesson here as with all my posts? YES!

If you want attention and are jonesing for a hand spanking, do not go overboard. Once you cross over into disrespecting boundaries and proceed to do something insane (like blatant defiance and disobedience), you will earn much more than the red, warm bottom you want. Much, much more.

Be good or else!

Sir John


Positions, Implements and Intensity

Well, Lovelies- it’s me, SJ, or as some of you like to call me: Mr. Meanie. I am going to try to do a weekly post and also answer any questions you may have for me. What kind of questions? Any and all, so let me know. The most recent has been “How do you determine what positions,  implements and intensity…?”

As most of you know, each Dom will be different in how he/she weighs the deed to the discipline. I am coming from old school (like the kind that existed before a certificate could be earned online and anyone could claim the title of Master or Mistress). I can already hear my girls snickering about it being sometime during the 1300’s…Very funny, ladies… Regardless of the decade we were mentored in, the mark of a good top is contemplation, consistency and compassion. And with those traits in mind…


As a rule, I find certain offenses require different types of discipline, type of implements, amount in duration and, along with these, different positions. For the typical ‘bratty’ sub, the traditional OTK (Over The Knee) on the bare-bottom with my hand is usually sufficient to address the challenging, and often mischievous, behaviors.

For a more serious violation, I have several prized implements of choice. The Dreaded Dana to a hard wood brush can do the trick, but I must sometimes reserve the right to apply the school paddle. The position, not just the implement, is determined by the seriousness of the transgression. I will vary from the hairbrush/OTK, bent over grabbing ankles or touching toes is best (Nik still has not learned the difference between her toes, knees or thighs as her hands start to inch up with each swat), to leaning over a pile of pillows. And ALWAYS, of course, on the bare bottom. We Doms do like to watch it change to nice, hot crimson.

And now, the serious infractions. I have zero tolerance for my girls putting health or safety at risk. That includes speeding, texting or putting make up on while driving, theft, illegal drug use, and making foolish decisions that might cost you or someone else their job, safety or relationship. My little ones know that there is no backing out of these since most of them involve a criminal action. Inappropriate public behavior that causes embarrassment to me or anyone else is also a serious infraction in my book. That can include being out of control due to liquor, a public temper tantrum, disrespecting another person to cause them a problem.


Fortunately, most of my girls learned this lesson very quickly and have not repeated the same mistakes. No names about who still needs to be reminded. For these issues, nothing less than the cane, the prison strap or… If she really is teetering on the edge, the birch. Rubber and textured acrylic implements often join the event. I also implicate the use of a T-bar. These little nasties came about from NuWest Videos eons ago (yes, there were TVs and actual recorded films back in the day). This sweet thing is perfect for the most severe sessions and compliments the implements very well because it keeps that lovely bare bottom nice and available. Occasionally, I include restraining of the hands and ankles while my bad little darling is stretched out over a spanking bench. This ensures that she is held safe and secure during her receipt of well- deserved stripes. Of course, for true humiliation, the diaper position is hard to beat. Well, not exactly. It is most delightful because the sit-spots are perfectly aligned to meet with my implement. I will have her on her back, ankles secured to a spreader bar which is either heisted in the air or attached to her wrists along the ankle links.

Yes, well… I am sure you are getting the idea.

I hope you have enjoyed the imagery and, to answer that last question…Yes, these different types of discipline are employed regularly in our household. It truly is Good to a be Dom!

Be Good or else…. SJ

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