Sub Space: A Dom’s Perspective

 

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Hello lovelies. So those who know what this means, congrats, for those who do not, please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. This is for sure, an E- ticket. First let me say this, one of the greatest gifts a Dom can give his sub is to take her into sub space because…drum roll…it’s all about the sub and giving her pleasure. Can I get an Amen from the subbies? So what the heck is this?

 

OK, sub space is kind of hard to explain, but I will give it a try- I imagine after you all read this Bree will get a ton of emails lol- Its a state of being where you are kind of floating. Very peaceful, and where, now hang in here, the pain becomes pleasure. No its not about being a masochist, this is different. I should point out as edification for you all, and also for any would be Tops reading this, you must be in good shape.This is a long process, and can take hundreds and hundreds of spanks to even get in the subspace gate. A strong arm and hand are vital.

 

So let me take you though this. Like I said, hold on its an e ticket. (Nikki here-for those of you that don’t know, apparently e-ticket is usually the ticket for the fastest and scariest rides-don’t worry if you didn’t get that, I didn’t either). I believe its best to use some sensory deprivation to start. A blindfold maybe, head phones, etc. This is all about feeling. No hearing or seeing. I use restraints, it is not absolutely necessary, but when the submissive struggles and can not escape, there is a special component that is not present if she is permitted to move all over the place.

 

Ok, the Dom begins with a hand spanking bb (bare bottomed) of course (the sub not the Dom)..Now this is not a punishment, this is a gift, so the spanking should be hard enough to redden and give a good sting, but not go into punishment mode. The spanking must progress slowly. However, this is the only time a sub may have a say in how she is spanked. She is permitted to ask for it slower or harder, faster, etc..After all, the goal is to get through the gate, and hopefully have a few good orgasms on the way. Its not unusual to have more than a few,  but that’s not the big payoff.

 

Ok, so the spanking has gone on for a while. Maybe a long while. The sub has gone from ow! to  hmmmm, to light moans.  This is a good sign. This means the spanks are beginning to heat up not only her bb, but other places as well. And most important, the Doms hands and mouth between spanks are hardly idle. Do hear another Amen!  Ok a sure sign the subbie is on her way into sub space is the way she will raise her bb up for the spanks, not try to avoid them. At this point the Dom will spank harder as she can take so much more when in sub-space.

 

By this time  the O’s  should have been up there in number and intensity.  Also now the implements are introduced. I use leather a lot because of the sensual feel of a flogger or strap. But a sub may want wood, or even a cane, it all depends on how deep she is.  Again slowly, but the same sign will let you know how hard-  the bb raised for the flogger or strap is the key sign, and there should be considerable moaning. And of course keep going back to the hand spanks. The session must start with the hand, as its so important for the connection; flesh to flesh.That is why you need to be able, as a Dom, to spank a long time. A really long time, sometimes. Anyway, once the sub has accepted the implement the Dom can go harder. The sub is not really feeling the pain now, only the heat and the strong strokes from her Dom. And yes, more O’s on the way. Again, this is interspersed with hands and mouth. Not to get too graphic, but i am sure you get the picture. So right when the subbie is way into subspace, thats when the two of you connect, and at the end of the ride is the golden “0”. There is no orgasm like a sub space orgasm. Take the best vanilla you have ever had, and multiply it by …oh I don’t know, a zillion may be too high, but not by much. And the Dom is quite happy also, but as i said its the Dom’s gift to his sub. The ultimate gift, so the goal is for her to experience this to the point of not being able to move or speak. Well  you know what i mean.

 

Ok ladies  thats my post and yes the topic was very fresh in my mind  so i was inspired to write until next time be good or else!

 

SJ

The Implement Must Fit The Crime…

 

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Hello my little subbies, wanna-be’s, and the curious but shy’s…Before I begin, you know how people get together all over the world at a specific hour to chant for world peace?  Well I was thinking, all of you subbies can do the same thing.  Chant your mantra; “its not fair ” who knows, you might save a sub in Sri Lanka from a spanking. What do you think?

So heres the deal. Lets talk implements… Hey come back here. Hear me out. Lets discuss appropriate implements for appropriate offenses. Now every Dom feels differently about this, so this is just my take. First of all, it’s important for a Dom to establish what the rules are, so his sub understands her boundaries. Once these are established, a Dom never relents. So, lets take bratting…Not that any of you would ever act in such a matter, right?  To me a sound hand spanking of around 100 to 300, depending on the brat level, is enough. Now lets go to the other end (yes pun intended) of the scale and look at the offense of speeding. To me, this warrants severity. Why? Because it endangers the sub and innocent drivers. So for something like speeding- hand, wood brush,  paddle, and cane. I know Mr. Meanie.

But heres my point, A sub must understand the difference between a brat spanking and a severe one. A dom cannot or should not cane a sub for bratting. Just as a hand spanking for speeding is ludicrous. And yes there are grey areas where just a paddle or just a brush is appropriate. One more thing, A dom must set a positive example. If he punishes his sub for speeding, then he cannot speed. If he punishes her for smoking, he cannot smoke. Are you hearing me my little ones?

Well thats about it from Domland. Remember, get together and do the chant. Who knows, the bottom you save may be your own!

 

Be good – or else

 

Sir John

 

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Interview With Sir John

 

 

A while ago Bree posted that she was going to interview John for the blog. Readers sent in questions, and here they are. I (Nikki) am conducting this interview because Bree is sleeping-she worked last night. Hope you enjoy!

First I am supposed to tell you that I was 2 minutes late for our meeting and I did not start the interview the way a proper sub would. So I earned a hand and brush punishment and book entry.

Nikki: Sir, I am sorry for not starting our interview on time and properly. Please forgive me and thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. (this was of course said in position).

Sir John: You will be spanked later.

Nikki: Yes sir.

Sir John: Go on.

Nikki: Yes sir.

Reader: How did you become or learn or train to be a Dom?

Sir John: I was about 14 and had a bratty girlfriend. I had seen and read some about spanking, so I decided I would try it.  It was over her clothing but I got such a favorable reaction I started to think this is the way relationships should be formed.

Nikki: Did you train yourself sir, or just learn as you went along?

Sir John: Well I had no idea what a top or a bottom was. I did read a lot but in the early stages, I just used corporal punishment (cp) when a girlfriend was acting up. It was awhile before I actually got into the dynamic of a true Dom. Quite a while.

Reader: Do you mentor other Dom or subs?

Sir John: I have had many subs over the years both online, and in person. Not many Doms. I have given advice from time to time.

Reader: Do you have other subs? (you should start a school on how to properly motivate subs I think this could be very useful).

Sir John: Well you could be right and if the opportunity came up I would consider it. However, you and Bree keep me pretty busy.  lol I do mentor some online though.

Nikki: lol

Reader: What made you think Bree or Nikki were subs when you met them?

Sir John: Very good question. I think other Doms will support me on this; after a while, you just know. It’s almost a sixth sense about these things. I think Bree and you could tell I was a top right away. Subs also have this awareness. that’s why when a top comes into a room and there are subs there, even if they have not come out about it, they will act much differently than they do with the vanilla men in the room.

Nikki: Yes sir, I have noticed this personally.

Reader: How much is seen in your day to day life on how things work in terms of the lifestyle?

Sir John: Well, my perception of this is based on my own experience. The D&s dynamic is quite strong in my life, as you know. It’s my opinion a true relationship must have a Dom sub component. But lets be clear, a Dom does not abuse. Just because he is alpha does not mean the sub has no rights. Of course she does and a Dom will revere his subs much more than a vanilla man would his girlfriend, wife, etc…But as you know, subs and dare I say, women in general, need boundaries. And when those are crossed, they must have someone they respect to be accountable to. I believe this is the best foundation for a relationship. When a sub has misbehaved she is punished then forgiven. No holding grudges or storming out like a lot of vanilla men do. After the punishment the Dom reassures his sub that she is loved and forgiven. With Bree and Nikki, even if I need to be severe, they know I love them and the punishment is for their own good. They each have different rules pertaining to their lack of discipline in areas and then they both must be respectful and obedient. But I am sure they both know they are loved and treasured.

Nikki: Yes sir, we do.

Reader: If you had children, how do you think they might change the Dom/sub interaction in your home?

Sir John: Well, privacy is essential for obvious reasons. However, if I had children, I think I would bring them up being aware of the lifestyle so if I had to spank my wife and they were there, they would see it as a caring thing and not be embarrassed by it.

Reader: I read that you had a long relationship with Bree training her prior to having an intimate relationship. Why was that? Did you know it would eventually lead to marriage?

Sir John: Well at first no, but the more I got to know her, the more I realized just how special she was and is. I think a D&s relationship needs time to develop. The good thing about it is the sub knows right up front what is expected of her and she either complies or says thats not my thing-so no time is wasted. All of my past relationships always had the rules set forth before the first date. D&s is a very honest communication which is why it works so well. Bree is an amazing woman, as you know, and took to her training very well. She is a model sub…most of the time. lol!

Nikki: lol

Reader: Do you have any recommendations for subs looking for a Dom, and what should they look for?

Sir John: Well, I do mentor some would-be subs online, and this is a frequent question. First off, and this is vital, a real Dom will never bring up sex…a real Dom will not be a jerk and try to boss a woman. He will actually be caring and understanding, but quite firm in how things will go. Even in a chat or email, a woman can feel if it’s a weekend Dom or the real deal. It’s not easy. A Dom must be a lot of things, and above all, balanced.

Reader: How have things changed since adding Nikki to your family?

Sir John: Well, I love Nikki. She is smart and cute and quite spankable. lol She and Bree love each other and I have come to love her as well. She can be a brat at times as she has not had the training Bree has, but she is learning.

Nikki: Hmph!

Reader: How do you determine the amount, or type of implement, you use?

Sir John: Well it really depends on the offense as you know only too well. And this brings up a good point for a would-be Dom. All spankings are not created equal. lol  So lets say Bree has been a brat. A good hard hand, bare bottom (BB) spanking is sufficient. But lets say she was speeding and got a ticket. Then the spanking should reflect the offense as should the implements. For a speeding ticket, she would receive a hand, brush, paddle spanking followed by 12 of the best.

Nikki: 12 of the best sir?

Sir John: Yes, a caning.

Reader: Is there a general guideline that is followed by all or most Doms?

Sir John: Well, in a way. Lets take two scenarios. Lets take a first encounter. A Dom must be very aware of the subs behavior. First, she is going to be terrified-after all this is a strange man who is not only going to bare her bottom, but punish it. She is trusting he knows what he is doing and will not abuse her. So a Dom needs to be firm but caring. Now this can go two ways, it can be a real punishment session or a role play. Each is different. I can elaborate if you want.

Nikki: Yes sir, please do.

Sir John: Well, and this will be a controversial opinion I am sure, but a real punishment session should have no safe words. After all, if you were sentenced to a spanking would you have the power to stop it when it got too painful? No, and if a sub wants a real punishment then it should be done that way. Now a Dom must be unyielding here. If she is starting to mark, he must still carry out the punishment as he stated he would. She can not top from the bottom and use tears, etc. to stop it. If it is role play, the safe words are acceptable as it is fantasy and the sub really has done nothing to deserve real punishment. So you see the difference?

Nikki: Yes sir, for clarity though….You are saying that in a Dom/sub relationship there are no safe words because it is consensual and she has given her Dom that right to punish her? But if playing-even with her Dom, she can use a safe word because it is not an actual punishment.

Sir John: Yes, in a relationship that is true, but in play yes, she can have a safe word. Now let me make a point; most spanking sites will tell a would-be sub who is about to have a first session, to have a safe word. I get that and there is nothing wrong with it. But I have had many subs in a session tell me they came to me because they need a real punishment-no safe words, etc….a sub that is looking for real atonement, will not feel she has been truly punished with a safe word. But I do understand the safety issue here as well.

Nikki: Thank you. That was going to be my next question-whether you feel it is appropriate for a woman meeting a Dom she has met online-for the first time, to have a safe word.

Sir John: I Have my own take on this but I would never turn down a session because a woman wanted a safe word. You see, its much different to role play you are drinking too much, and to actually have been drinking too much, and be punished for real.

Note: This is from me, Breanna….while we never have used safe words, John does listen carefully to me during a session. If something comes up that warrants me needing him to stop, I will tell him I am serious and we take a break to discuss whatever is causing me distress…and I don’t mean my bb! BECAUSE OF  PAST ISSUE OF ABUSE, HE IS VERY CAREFUL NOT TO TAKE ME TO THE PLACE OF PANIC, AND I TRUST HIM TO BE AWARE OF EVERY SOUND, BREATH, AND MOVEMENT THAT WOULD INDICATE I WAS HAVING A PROBLEM BEYOND THE OW FACTOR.

Reader: Have you studied from a medical point of view how much discipline is safe to administer?

Sir John: You learn as you go. The first time I administered a bb spanking, I was amazed at how red her bottom got and also a little bruised. I was pretty young, about 17, and I was freaked out she might show her parents. But all she did was tell her girlfriend who started really paying attention to me. lol So a Dom must be aware of what is happening to the skin. Some women mark quickly, some not much. Where one woman a 100 hand spank spanking can bruise, another it may take 500. So you just have to be aware.

Nikki: So is that why you and other Doms prefer bb? Or is is simply because bb hurts more sir?

Sir John: Well, there are a few answers here but first, just in case any would-be Doms are reading this….get your hand in shape. A subs main fantasy is over the knee (OTK) bb. And for a hand spanking to really feel like a punishment you should be able to do at least  200 sounds spanks with your hand. So practice men! lol Ok, now to your question. First we are men, so a woman’s bb is really exciting. In the OTK position. Even moreso and flaming red even more…so it is that, as well as the feel of the skin getting hot, that is really exciting. And lets be honest, Doms are sadistic-some more than others. So having a bb woman squirming under your hand as her bottom changes from white to pink to red is very satisfying. From a practical point of view, you can see the effects the punishment is having and gauge for safety reasons. And yes, also because it does hurt more.

Reader: Have you allowed yourself to be punished once, to know how it feels?

Sir John: Yes, I must admit I have. But not with any implements.

Nikki: —Mouth gaping— um, ok last question… lol

Reader: How do you bring yourself to discipline Nikki? She seems like such a sweet girl, I would think you would find it difficult to be stern with her…(this may or may not have been submitted by yours truly 😉 )

Sir John: lol! Well, although your question was meant to be humorous, it brings up a good point. How does a Dom bring himself to discipline severely the one or ones he loves? This is a dilemma all Doms face when they fall for someone or care deeply for a sub. Nikki is a sweet girl, but she needs direction. Though it pains me at times to see her her bb marked by my hand or paddle, I know it’s for her own good and will help her grow into a well behaved young lady. Its not always easy for a Dom to be severe, but sometimes its necessary.

Sir John: Now before we conclude, let me say this. D&s is a wonderful lifestyle and if you are lucky enough to find the right partner, there is nothing better. For would-be Doms, be caring and loving but strict when you need to be. Do not let tears etc. deter you if your sub needs discipline, and never back out after you have stated she is to be punished. If you do it will just confuse her. Be consistent, fair, and never punish in anger or yell. A Dom is always calm and in control. Remember, you are training her for her own good. She needs boundaries as I stated before, but be balanced in how you handle her. It is a great responsibility. For would-be subs it’s important you are respectful. Never curse or yell and mind your Dom. You will all try to weasel out of a punishment-we know this-it’s part of your nature. But remember, even if your Dom is severe, its because he cares. He is not there to abuse you, but to help you be the best you can be. So mind him and try to behave. Of course no one is perfect, and if a Dom had a perfect sub, who would he spank, right? lol Any way, good luck to all of you. If you can be half as happy as Bree and I am, you will be blessed indeed.

Nikki: Thank you sir for taking time to answer our readers questions. We appreciate it and your words of wisdom.

Sir John: My pleasure. We will take care of your book later today. Love you.

Nikki: Yes sir. I love you too.

     ***Disclaimer: The opinions stated in this interview are not necessarily the opinions of the blog owner or her sister.***

 

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