This week we I am so pleased to introduce my Uncle K. He is warm and fuzzy and the best uncle around. And he is gonna talk a little bit about Age Play and what it means to him. Please feel free to comment and ask any questions you may have. If you do not want to comment publicly though, just email me and I am happy to forward his email address to you.
My good friend and favorite niece BreeBree, asked me if I would do a post about age play for her blog. When someone as cute as her asks, it is hard to say no. Well, not that hard, and I like this topic and her so here we go.
To her I am Uncle K. I have been into age play for the past ten years of my life. Five of those years have been spent with my wife and little girl, Lily. Over the past five years we have had our ups and downs, but I have never been closer to anyone in my whole life, and age play has played a big role in that.
I got my start a long time ago, with a girlfriend who was into age play. While the relationship with this girl was short lived, it changed something inside me. Every relationship I have had since has been a Daddy/little girl one.
Age play can cover pretty much any age. A majority of littles are younger but can range from infants, toddlers, or even up to teens. Yes… some not only act the part but dress it as well. Including wearing adult diapers and adult size baby clothes. And yes, some do use their diapers for their intended purpose. The little’s partner is normally a parental figure to them, but can also be an uncle, brother, cousin or any variation. In my case I have always been a Daddy to Lily or an Uncle to a few others.
One of the main questions I am asked about this lifestyle is “do you ever get tired of being a Daddy or an Uncle all the time?” My answer is simply, no. I do not mind taking care of others, I enjoy it. Like I tell my girl all the time, my number one job is to take care of her, and to love her. This means helping her with homework, keeping her on task, rubbing her back so she can sleep at night, packing her lunch, picking out her clothes, and well, you get the point. While some people think this is totally unfair for one person to do all that and more all the time, I would remind them that I enjoy this and gladly signed up for it. There are also people that think that being cared for this way sounds like an easy life and would love to jump right in. This is also not the case.
This is a unique type of relationship, one that involves a great deal of trust. For someone to open up like this to another person is a gift. They are exposing themselves to their very core. This is why when people ask me questions about getting into this, I always tell them to think about what they are willing to put out there. Whether being a Big or a little, there is a lot to think about. As a Big you have to want to be responsible for another person, much like you would a child. You also have to be ready to earn and maintain their trust in you. As a little, you have to make sure you are ready to depend on another person, and are willing to place them in control of even little things like feeding, or playing with you.
This isn’t to say that bumps don’t come along. Come on, everyone makes mistakes, things can be fixed but sometimes it takes longer to fix then others, especially when trust or communication breaks down. The most important thing to remember is to be open and honest with yourself and your partner. Regardless of your roles in the relationship, communication is the key. I would definitely recommend talking about the good and the bad that happened during your age play time, particularly if this is a new area for you. Sometimes little people forget that us Bigs can’t read minds, and we need a hand in figuring out where to go and what to do next.
I encourage anyone who thinks that this type of relationship is something you want, to go for it. The worse thing that happens is that you find out it is something that you really don’t want after all. If anyone has questions or comments, I am happy to answer them, and give any help or advice I can to help you find your way, or just help get things back on track.
Also, if you would like the littles perspective, Uncle K’s wife Lilly has a blog where she shares her life with her Daddy.
Wow this sounds lofty…Well, not really. You see ladies, I was inspired today to write this. I just finished the rough draft of Blindfolded. OK no pouting, it is part of the perks of being married to the beautiful and amazing, Breanna Hayse, so get over it. OK, this is an amazing book. Maybe her best yet, and as you know, that’s saying something. The female character and the male character dynamic is really so close to Bree and I…OK duh, he is called Master J, but that’s not the point. As I was reading, I was struck by just how important balance is, in a Dom, and how it is essential in a Dom/sub relationship. Hey some Dom’s do not want to admit it, but we all have the dark/light yin/yang female/male characteristics. Now this is the tricky part; go too far one way, and you will be an abusive jerk. Too far the other, and you will be too passive to ever get a sub to respect or obey you. A Dom needs to be an example for his sub. He must always protect and treasure her. In fact, I treat Bree like a queen every day. Go ahead, ask her, hopefully she will back me up or I will look really lame here.
Now does that mean she walks all over me? No. Does it mean she has no rules? No. Does it mean I hold back if she is deserving of punishment? No, no, and no. But the balance must be there. A Dom must be fair, and just, and as I said, he must set an example for his sub. If a Dom says no smoking, he cannot smoke. If he says no speeding, he cannot speed. At least this is how I operate. I would never punish Bree for an offense that I am also guilty of. Here’s the tough part again, balance.
How do you, as a Dom, command respect and obedience, without being overbearing, or worse, abusive? But, also loving and kind enough to nurture your relationship, without being too weak to command anything. Well it’s not easy, let me tell you. But I think it can be simplified in a way. As I said, I treat Bree like a treasure, which she is. I put all my energy into letting her know this, and feel it. But when she disobeys, it’s the same energy- but it turns to my darker side.
The commitment I have to Bree to be loving caring etc. is just as strong when I need to be strict, or even severe. Although truth be told, in the last 9 years maybe 5 times have I had to be severe. Bree is a very, very, good sub. But for her to feel secure and protected, and yes, loved, she needs to know I have both sides… Wait for it…right! Balance. Even when a punishment is difficult to administer, yes that happens even though I love getting Bree’s beautiful bb cherry red, there are times she needs more than just my hand. And once I decree she’s to be punished, I never back down. Unless she has a valid reason for her behavior, or maybe going through, or just emerging from a traumatic event. Come on, I am not a monster ladies.
Well you will see when you read blindfolded. Anyway, IMO, to make a true 24/7 D/s relationship work- which is what Bree and I have – the Dom must be balanced. Equally yin/yang, etc. If you are a subbie looking for a Dom, this is imperative for you. Never settle for less, it will not work. For those of you in happy relationships, you already know this. Well that’s all for now.
Be good, or else!
Hello all my lovelies. I am going to respond to each individual post you sent me, but first I need to make something clear. Bree and I are not having any kind of marital problems. That was not the impression I wanted to convey. We are fine, and we worked out the problem, so all is good.
I also wanted to thank you all for your posts. They really helped a lot. This was a difficult blog post because I really laid it out there. Hard to do as a man, double as a Dom. So thank you for being so supportive.
Hello lovelies. Trust me, this blog is not what you think. In fact I really want your input. I have a feeling you will not be supportive, which is ok, just be honest.
First off, Bree andI have been together 9 years. I have never met a more responsive submissive in my life, or such a beautiful person, inside and out. She is my treasure and my life. In the 9 yrs we have been together I have had to discipline her to severity maybe 5 times. She is an exemplary submissive. Now her post today was not a serious offense, but she disobeyed me for the same thing twice, in one hour! Very unusual, which is why her bb got paddled beet red the second time. But this is more a brat offense; nothing serious. Our bond as Dom and sub goes much much deeper than any vanilla relationship ever could. I would literally give my life for her in a second. No exaggeration.
So probably you are all, oh so sweet oh he loves her so much. True but we are turning a corner now and I may lose you. Lately Bree has expressed a desire to attend a spanking party. Those are not my thing, but I figured she might get ideas for a new book, which is what I figured she wanted to go for, and it is. But also, she wants to maybe indulge in a spanking from another top. This cuts me pretty deep. Yeah I hear you, oh boo-hoo, big bad Dom get over it. We all have fantasies, yes. But we do not all act on them, especially in a solid relationship. And it hurts, a lot. And if I do say so myself, her D/s relationship with me is pretty good. Not to mention the husband wife thing…Anyway I digress…
So I am working on letting that go. Frankly, it will take a very long time. I told her I would take her, and she could even dress to show off her beautiful bb, and I might even spank her. But the thought of another male touching her puts me in a really dark place, one I try not to visit, and one nobody needs to be around. Now I do not mind causing her discomfort I spanked her 5 times yesterday just to see her red bb – and she was yeowing and squirming, But the thought of another male even causing her to say ow, and I can go very dark.
I had an experience with a jerk who actually has a dvd company, who I told could just use his hand on the girl I brought (this was just a date no history at all). Anyway he took a brush, gave me a look to blow me off. I got up- it got tense. He backed off, and we left..
I am thinking maybe i would consider it if we had a couple we liked, doing a private thing. But i would be so controlling, and probably as soon as I heard an ow I would stop any spanking from continuing. I am sure the Dom would say, “John you’re nuts.” And you know what? He would be right ..I own the fact this is irrational, controlling, and not fair to Bree at all and quite selfish. But I am who I am.
Let me illustrate something, and Bree would not in any way do this I know. If she let another man spank her, behind my back, to me thats the same as having an affair in the vanilla world. Yes to me it is that serious. Some Doms do not care who spanks their subs. Fine, I am not judging (Bree likes to watch me top another woman- go figure. But then again, I am giving pain, not getting it). But like I said, she is my treasure, and a Doms first promise to a sub is to protect her always. Is this over the top? Yes probably. Hey it’s just a spanking right? Not to a Dom with the bond I have with Bree it isn’t. It’s much much deeper than that. But what can I say? I am a Dom enigma.
So lovelies, if any of you are still with me, how would you react if you were Bree? Just be honest, I do not get angry at Bree and we have never yelled at each other in 9 years, I swear on the Doms oath.
I have to admit this was kind of cathartic for me so if you read it whatever your opinion thank you.