Reality

13e4e36dd13b62c4757a0826b7d6a65dHello lovelies,

I was thinking I need to make something clear to you all. For those of you who are in a D/s relationship, this will not be news, but for those of you thinking about entering into a D/s relationship it can be a valuable post. As I have told you, a relationship with D/s as its foundation is the best dynamic you can have.

Is a Dom supportive? Yes

Faithful? Yes

Fair? Yes, although many subs would disagree.

Loving? Yes

Caring? Yes

Sounds pretty good right? What a D/s relationship is not, is a democracy. Now you are thinking, wait a minute this was sounding great but what does this mean?

Speaking for myself, a submissive that I train must be strong willed and have her own opinions, in vanilla things that is. It’s ok if she disagrees with me even, and sometimes the outer fringes of D/s she can but, when it comes to being accountable, or what type of punishment is needed, how hard, which implements etc. there is no vote. There is one voice and one decision maker, the Dom.

You see, when you enter into a D/s dynamic one of the things you are asking the Dom to help you with is altering bad habits. To do this he must hold you accountable to his standards and rules, not yours. The Dom’s way of looking at your behaviors is all that matters, as I said, not a democracy. One alpha, one decision maker. Now before you start yelling about how no man is going to control me etc. stop and think.

You want a strong Dom right?

One you cannot manipulate right?

One that is fair but strict right?

One that will hold you accountable for bad behaviors right?

One that can control you right?

Ta da!! I rest my case. The Dom sets the boundaries in the beginning. When you, as a sub, accept this you are trusting that he knows what’s best for you and, will not be deterred in applying the proper motivation, if needed, to get you to behave. This is the reality of the dynamic. This is why you must trust your Dom totally. After all, you did tell him you needed help, or he surmised it and you agreed. Either way, once you are in, you are in for the whole deal.

Another, lighter, aspect of this not being a democracy is that when you agree to enter into this dynamic your Dom owns your bottom. Relax, you are not in a dungeon or locked in a cage waiting for your Dom’s entrance, although some of you may like that, lol. What I mean is, I think I speak for most Dom’s when I tell you all, the sexiest sight ever is a female red bb. Bree is spanked a lot, not for punishment but she knows the deal. I own her spankable bottom, so whenever I want to see it red she has to comply. It’s always best when she does, as arguing or hesitating can make what was going to be a pleasant warm bottom, a very uncomfortable hot one.

Reality, for some of you might sound pretty good after all. Just thought I would write a bit about this for you all. It is indeed a two sided coin and all subbies live with that love/hate thing, just the way it is. Love it or hate it, or both right?

Be good, or else…

SJ

The Other Side of the M/s Coin

2014-08-11

So lovelies,

It seems I scared a lot of you with my last post. Here’s a little advice, fear what a Dom can do not the Dom, or the Master. Now just as the punishments for bad behaviors are quite severe from a Master, the pleasure/pain sessions are equally as enjoyable.

I thought that might get your attention.

As you know, or maybe you do not, a pain/pleasure session is how subspace is achieved. In the case of an M/s scenario it can be a deep subspace indeed. The bench is used or the bed, with the submissive tied or not. A blindfold or gag is not required but can enhance the sensations. There is usually an anal plug but not necessarily ginger. There is a lot more flexibility in this type of session.

Usually a warm up spanking starts it off and even a Master, when doing this type of session, will allow your feedback…what implements, how hard etc. A lot of the session is up to you. You may make requests, although, once in subspace you will not be able to or want to talk.

Now the main difference in an M/s and a D/s subspace session, for me, is the use of the whip. A submissive that is in an M/s relationship usually loves the whip and her tolerance for pain is usually higher than a D/s submissive.

Floggers are used one or two at a time, of differing weights. If the submissive is not bound these can be used both on the front and the back. The whips are used front and back also but the long stingy whip is used mostly on her bottom, thighs and back. I also do a lot of tapping with various implements, usually canes. Even if you hate the cane a pain/pleasure tapping is very enjoyable and sensual.

The session would go on for about an hour or so. After all the spanks are given a full muscle massage over an oiled body would be applied. This can last a while but it is amazing after a long session. Sometimes the sub is just so into subspace she is asleep. When this occurs I watch her, but let her absorb the experience. If she is just on the verge of subspace then the massage usually puts her over. This is when you will be very grateful your Dom/Master has strong hands.

Still scared?

You see a Dom must have a giving, kind side as well as a strong disciplinarian side. A Master, the same but up about 5 notches or so. It’s all about intensity, and a pain/pleasure session is all about you, a gift   from your Dom or Master. So you see, not scary right? Plus if you behave you get more of these than you do the other.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Introductions to the Lifestyle

It seems we have a bit if a theme going with the last few posts so I wanted to keep it going a little bit. In Pipers Journey Into Submission Piper is introduced to several aspects of Jeoff’s lifestyle throughout the book. Spankings are discussed (and applied) but he also has several conversations with her regarding D/s, Age Play and the varying rules and dynamics they entail.

You can read a little bit about my introduction to the lifestyle over on the John and Bree page and hopefully in the next few posts John will be kind enough to share how he was introduced into certain aspects of the lifestyle. I think while everyone has a different introduction to the lifestyle, a lot of the feelings associated with that knowledge and exploration are similar. Either way you slice it learning new things and doing new things is often difficult, particularly those that force you to be open with yourself and others. Everyone’s thought process and how they handle the information is always going to be different but there seems to be a lot of similarities that come with being new in the lifestyle. I’ve noticed there’s a lot of self doubt, questioning, fear of failure…What if I can’t do it? What if I’m not a good submissive? What if I’m weird for liking this? The good news…it’s all normal so just keep learning and exploring.

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Here’s a snippet of Jeoff introducing the subject of age play to Piper.

“Payback, brat. I am also interested in AP, but have not found my Little yet. I suspect that might be an area you are heading for from the things you have said, and your reactions to certain events.”

“What the hell is AP? And, why would you think I am heading anywhere? I am just curious, damn it.”

“Sit still,” he said sternly as she began to fidget. “I know this makes you uncomfortable, but you are the one who brought it up. There is no reason to be defensive. Oh yes, and one more thing. I am not going to warn you about your swearing again, either. It is not acceptable. Understood?”

“Yes,” Piper whispered, looking down at the table and feeling abashed. “It’s not fair, though. You swear sometimes.”

“I know I do, but I am responsible for being a good example, so it is something I have to work on. That does not give you leave to do it anytime you feel like it, or that you are absolved of the consequences. My girls call D&S a ‘consensual dictatorship’.”

“That is SO not fair,” Piper repeated.

“Nope, it sure isn’t,” Jeoff patted her hand. He continued, “AP stand for age-play, and it involves the voluntary and conscious reversion back to a time where adult decisions and responsibilities did not exist.”

“That sounds more like regression. Is it like role playing?”

“Role playing implies a game and, for some people, that it all it is. For others, it is much more serious. I use the term reversion because it takes the ability to reclaim and embrace the inner child, while regression implies falling back without purpose or thought. The reversion for a real APer is serious, and they often revert to the time when they felt a loss of control or their innocence was marred. They permit themselves to behave in a manner appropriate for that age group and learn what it is like to be a child that is loved, wanted, and cared for. The entire focus is to achieve trust, love, and a true sense of caring.”

 

How were you introduced to the lifestyle (D/s, Spankings, Age Play, BDSM, etc.)? Do you think it changed how you approached the lifestyle? Did you jump in with both feet or is slow and steady more your pace?

 

A Dom’s 3 Levels

Hello lovelies,

When I write a post I always hope to impart some helpful advice or information for you so and I certainly hope this will help some of you that might be looking or considering your own Dom. The following will certainly save you a lot of wasted time, if you follow my advice. So, everybody ready? This is about the 3 levels of Domness (very inside stuff).

There are three levels a Dom must have in order to be the real deal. If you are looking for a Dom or are starting to communicate with one this might help. If he lacks any of these I’d advise moving on. More than likely he is not the real deal. You can definitely play but as far as a true D/s relationship? No way will it work, trust me. I am going to go ahead and assume he is skilled with his hand and implements so that’s not an issue.

Amazed girl in front of computer

Level 1: Online Vibe

When you chat with a Dom or they send you an email, right away you should feel that something is different. It is not your typical m/f communication. You should get some butterflies in your stomach and maybe a little weak in the knees feeling. You may find yourself saying yes Sir, where you have never done that before. Also you might begin to develop the impression that this may be someone you cannot manipulate for a change.  If the vibe is there, congrats, level one check.

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Level 2: The Voice

After a while he will insist you talk on the phone. As soon as you hear him say your name, your butterflies should return with a whole bunch of friends. His voice should convey that he is doing more than just talking. His demeanor should come through as well as the fact that you will now be held accountable for your actions. This should be exciting for you and possibly a little scary: heart rate should go up, knees very weak, possible inability to make a sentence, etc. If he transmits the vibe that he means what he says and know he will carry it out, congrats level two check

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Level 3: The Look

I do not mean he has to look like a model or be juiced and jacked up like Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine series. The look I am talking about is one that will tell you in no uncertain terms you are in the deep end of the pool. It’s scary because you will have to make the leap and meet him. This puts you in a very vulnerable place physically and emotionally, especially if its decided you will have a session. If you act up or brat and he says nothing, but just gives you the look the butterflies should increase by about 50 times and be more active and chaotic. One thing will be certain, you are about to be truly accountable for all your bad behaviors that you have gotten away with for so long. This time is different because you know you cannot joke or smile or cry or even sex your way out of what you have coming. If the look says this…drum roll please…ta da you have found a real Dom.

One final piece of advice that I have told a countless number of subbies…Be careful what you wish for.

Good luck and be good or else…

SJ

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