Immediate Honesty

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Hello lovelies,

First, let me say this, I love women. I always have. I’ve always hung with women more than guys. I mean come on, who wouldn’t? Plus the added perk of being so spankable and there is a chance you’re a subbie, lol.

That being said, you all tend to hold things in. If you’re a sub it’s holding things in times a gazillion. As a Dom I need to know where my subs are emotionally, at all times. This is vital because I could say or do something in a session that might be a trigger, create a big deal and not knowing my sub was feeling emotional about a certain thing that day would end badly.

I work with every subbie I have on this…all the time. I don’t know why subbies hold things in and make their lives more stressful and more emotional than they already are. I am pretty good at knowing when a subbie is off. I can tell you when I ask “What’s wrong?” and a sub says “oh nothing, I’m fine,” I want to bang my head against the wall of my music room. Yes, there is a small hole there already, lol.

Immediate honesty is so important. I can’t tell you how many times I knew something was up, or worse, thought everything was fine and then I get an email 3 days later… “Sir, I think I may have to quit” or “Why did you say this to me,” or “I’m so angry with you.”

This is so frustrating for me because this could have been settled 3 days ago if my sub would have just said “can we talk,” or at least answered what was wrong when I originally asked. As a Dom I am responsible for my sub’s emotional wellbeing and when a subbie hides her feelings from me it can turn out very badly.

So to those of you with Doms, or just in relationships, I have three words for you…Stop doing this!! Immediate honesty is difficult, I know, but it always works out better. It saves you so much anxiety and stress.

My subbies will tell you it’s stressful enough being my submissive, so why add to it? Just say what you feel when you feel it. It will make things much easier and also save my wall from further damage.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Dom Hunting

Hello lovelies,

No, no, the heading is not about when you’re mad at your Dom and want to try out that new bow and arrow set you just bought.

Some of you I know, some very well in fact, as I have been responsible for you not sitting, squirming and/or crying like schoolgirls under my hand and paddle.

By the way you’re welcome, lol.

I am talking to those of you without Doms, who want Doms. I have told you how to go about this online but I am sure some of you like to go to clubs or bars etc. So how can you find a Dom, in person, with no online connection?

Well today is your lucky day as I am going to give you a fool proof way of knowing right away if you are talking to a Dom or not. Sound good?

Here’s the magic key…When you see a guy you’re attracted to and you sit down to talk, you think he may be a Dom but you’re not sure. You could say “hey, are you a Dom?” but I think we can be more subtle. Start the conversation with “I work at ____. I love my job but, I’m always late and I can’t seem to break the habit.

Ding, ding, ding!! A Dom will jump on that like Dracula on a white neck, trust me.

Or you could try “I got pulled over again. I can’t help speeding though I can usually talk my way out of a ticket.”

Score!!!!!

Trust me, you will know right away. In fact if you don’t get some kind of Dom reaction like, “I have a remedy for that,” or “I am sure I can help you break that habit,” or at least a “that’s very irresponsible young lady,” I’d say move on you’re wasting your time. See what a thoughtful Dom I am? I just saved you hours of tedious conversation. Give it a try and let me know if it works. Happy Hunting!

Be good, or else…

SJ

Subbie Guilt

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Hello lovelies,

I am sure you are all familiar with this heading yes?  I mean subbie’s have more guilt than anyone I know. I love you all but you know it’s true.

I did a session not too long ago. It was a punishment session resulting in marks and a lot of tears, as these kinds of sessions often do. Now during this session something happened. As you all know I am sadistic, but I am all about you being safe in a session so I monitor you closely.

This particular subbie had been hand spanked to tears and was then put over the spanking bench and secured. Her transgressions were serious so she had a paddling and a caning coming. I decided to use the heart first, which as some of you know burns like fire especially on a sore bottom. During this part of her spanking she began to cry again but her breathing became erratic. That’s wasn’t good as she started to hyperventilate, so much so I had to stop and calm her down before her cane strokes.

I had decided to end the session after the cane as I felt she may be at risk if I went any longer. After calming her down I gave her 12 strokes and she was done. I did aftercare, held her, forgave her and made sure she was ok.

It seemed she was so I went downstairs and she went into the living room. When I came in to check on her she was crying. I asked what was wrong and she said she felt bad she could not take what I had planned for her!

I did say you all have more than your share of guilt to drag around did I not? Lol

I explained to her that it’s never a question of me being disappointed if you can’t take as much as I planned for you . It is always a matter of you being safe. You need to learn a lesson, of course, but not at the expense of your health (physical/mental/emotional).

I want you all to get this…a punishment session is meant to hurt but it’s not a matter of taking so much or disappointing me. Every subbie is different. Some can take a lot, some not so much. The important thing is that you feel punished and can let go of the guilt after. Not to put more guilt on top by thinking you disappointed your Dom by not taking enough , that’s not an issue.

You all have enough guilt. Don’t add to it! Lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Feelings and Emotions: Arrrgh!

Hello my lovelies,

How is everyone?

I have a query for all of you and would welcome your input. I was doing a session with one of my subbies, a very sweet newbie. She was not in serious trouble but it was a phone session. It was for a behavior I do not like.

You see, in phone sessions, the subbie cannot fake anything. I hear it all. The self spanks are always much harder and longer.

The session went as usual, and after she was forgiven with hugs I signed off. Later I get an email saying, she was upset and felt angry during the session. Mostly, wanting to cuss and be defiant, even though she did not act that way. She could not understand why she felt like this and was feeling very guilty, as all subs do. She’s very obedient, especially for a newbie, so this is way out of character.

What do you think?

I have a theory… I think a lot of subbies will push, newbies especially but even experienced subs, (Bree still pushes me on occasion). The reason this happens is that they want to know nothing has changed. Security and trust comes from consistency, so if I call them on it it seems all is good and balanced even though they get spanked and whine about how mean I am.

I also asked one of my more experienced subbies what she thought. She’s very smart and intuitive so her take was a bit different. She thought that as an independent woman used to being in control it’s a hard adjustment sometimes. So when you are in a session being disciplined you obviously have no control and sometimes that switch clicks and you just want even a little control. You get defiant or angry or you act out, even knowing there are consequences, because it gives you a little control, if only for a few minutes.

Have any of you gone through this? I know my subbies have. What do you think?

D/s is very powerful is it not?

Be good, or else…

SJ

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