dom ta dom dom DOMMMMMM!!!

quote-791953_640

Hello lovelies,

I trust all of you are behaving…oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to, lol, scratch that. I have another question for all of you.

What do you feel denotes a good Dom? One you would be happy to train with? What do you consider the 5 most important attributes he should have?

Just wondering and thought I would throw it out there for all of you to ponder.

Be good, or else…

SJ

How Often?

thoughtful-721507_960_720

Hello lovelies,

I trust you all are happy and hopefully marked by your Doms as you read this. I am asking a question today of how often…

How often do you think about being spanked? Especially discipline wise?

How often do you surf the net for photos or videos and imagine the sub in those pics and vids is you?

I want you all to remember one important thing when you see those pics or watch those vids, even if they are severe, the main thing is that the Dom is or should be administering the discipline because he cares. Yes, it’s true.

Here at Casa Hayse spankings are given frequently and sometimes just because I want to see a red bottom. Sometimes the spankings are quite severe, but that does not mean I do not care for the subbie, quite the contrary. I care for all my subs.

It’s an interesting line and hard to explain unless you have been over my lap. I would venture to say if you talk to any sub that I have disciplined she will tell you no matter how painful it was she always could feel my caring, certainly through my hand but also using an implement. I wish for all of you to be able to feel this especially if you never have before, and if you do feel this with your Dom you are fortunate indeed.

Bree whines a lot when she’s spanked and a lot of the time she’s not in the mood, which makes no difference to me, lol, but I guarantee if you asked her if she can feel how much I care with every spank or stroke she would say “Yes…but why does he have to spank so hard!!!” Some of you may visit the torture room here someday and you will FEEL what I mean in the meantime…

Be good, or else…

SJ

Over and Done

woman-notebook-working-girl

Hello my lovelies,

Miss me? I missed you.

I wanted to say, thank you so much for all your support for Bree and I through these crazy stressful times and a special thanks to all of you who were generous enough to give from your hearts. We will be forever grateful.

Now, another question…hypothetical…Let’s say you’re going to visit your Dom and your punishment book is rather full, at least 7 transgressions. You’re staying for a week. Would you rather…

  1. Get all of them taken care of in one huge session then have a clean slate for the week
  2. Do one or two a day until they are all gone.

There are pros and cons for each, of course, but I am curious what you all think.

Be good or else

SJ

 

The Big Picture

eye-447428_1920

Hello lovelies,

Today I want you all to pay close attention as this is very important. For those of you I have a long training dynamic with, you already understand, but for newbies or those just curious, listen up.

D/s or even S/m does not just involve punishment when you misbehave. For those of you that think spanking is what D/s is all about you are missing the big picture! Training does involve spanking, in one form or another but, that’s just the tip of the D/s iceberg.

When I train a sub it’s to make her a better submissive. There are so many things to work on and talk about in training. It’s not just when you have to report for a spanking. I want a sub to learn about self-respect, boundaries, proper behavior, self-worth, obedience and so many other aspects that make a well-rounded subbie and a well-rounded human being.

I use spanking as a teaching tool but it’s not the only one. In fact, I can impart the lessons without spanking but subbies usually need a deterrent. A bb spanking seems to work very well but so do lines, grounding or daily tasks.

The big part is being consistent and serious about becoming better, as well as doing what I tell you, to get you there. It’s all about trust and caring at the end of the day. So next time you read about a Dom disciplining a sub or watch a video etc. remember if it’s the real thing, that relationship is very very layered. A stronger bond you would be hard pressed to find.

Be good, or else…

SJ

In or Out

Hello lovelies,

Today I thought I would address a question I get all the time, usually like this… “Are you mad at me sir? Are you going to drop me?” The fact is you can be dropped from training, but, it takes a lot for that to happen.

First, let’s talk about another aspect, being released. A lot of times I work with women who are looking for a Dom and for a relationship. I work with them and teach them how they must behave to attract such a Dom. Hopefully it works out, if it does I then release them to their new Dom and my participation in their training is over. It’s kind of bittersweet as I build a bond with my subs, some more than others but still a bond. Sometimes, it’s hard to let them go but, that’s the goal if they are looking for a Dom.

Now dropping a sub is totally different. It takes a lot for me to do this but I unfortunately have done so. There are a few main reasons I would do this:

1) Lying- I’m not talking about a subbie stretching the truth or omitting certain facts. I mean out and out lying. If I catch a sub lying she will get one warning and the next time I will drop her. D/s is built on trust and honesty. I can’t have it any other way and expect it to work.

2) Not taking the training seriously- If a sub thinks this is a game and does not do the tasks or follow my orders then the training will help no one.

3) Striking me- I understand subs can get angry, especially in a session, but one slap or punch in anger and that’s it…done.

4) If a sub disrespects Bree or hurts her in a deep way- Also if she does that to any of our friends especially our little subbie family, she will be dropped. This may be the most important one.

Let me be clear, these are some of the main reasons. I do not get mad and I do not give up on a sub, even a difficult one, so long as they are serious and honest with me. I love my subbies, I love training, helping them find their submissive and embrace it. I will spend a lot of time and energy on a subbie that is serious and willing to obey me.

There is an old adage my way or the highway, that pretty much sums it up.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Lines and Strokes

pen-writing-notes-studying-large

Hello lovelies,

I was wondering…

Some of my subbies say they would rather have spanks or strokes rather than write lines. How do you all feel about that?

I am not just talking sit and write lines. I usually have my subbie in the corner bb and then sit and write.

Which do you feel is more of a deterrent for bad behavior?

A sound OTK bb spanking. Maybe the paddle or even the cane…Or…Being sent to the corner bb to write lines about your behavior?

Which do you feel is more of a deterrent for bad behavior?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Personally I find both very effective especially in the same session, but that’s just me, lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Man v. Machine

Hello lovelies,

I don’t know if you are aware but there are quite a few spanking machines out there. Yes, the old fantasy of having a machine to spank your subbie is a reality. I am not saying this is for lazy Doms, lol, just an addition.

The main perk here is for self spanking as there is one major problem with self spanking: arm fatigue. For the majority of you, your arm gives out way before you have spanked hard enough or long enough. Also, you will tend to back off the intensity when it really starts to sting. This is understandable as your sense of self-preservation kicks in. The beauty of the machine is that once its set and in motion it doesn’t let up or get softer as your bottom starts to sting and it never gets tired.

I do phone sessions with all my subs from time to time. I do this to keep the dynamic more personal and also to monitor the spanking. Since I can hear everything there is no way for my subs to cheat and go lighter than I want. If the machine is used it solves that problem and also makes the spanking more painful and intense.

The machine I have has controls for how often the stroke comes and how hard that stroke is. Once its set there is no escape and it’s almost like a true in person punishment. My machine on an 8 with a thin cane will elicit loud screams and nice marks. On a 10 it’s severe. Of course you can set it lower for a pleasure spanking but the real advantage is for punishment.

I have even tried a double caning with Bree. I let the machine give a stroke and as it was setting for the next I gave her one. She did not enjoy it nearly as much as I did.

Now there is the drawback of it being impersonal, after all it is a machine, but if the Dom orders the implement, the number of intensity and sets the timer it’s almost like he’s giving the spanking or paddling or caning etc. The subbie must stay in position or get some strokes in places she does not want them.

I am sure you are all online looking for your machine lol. I think all subbies should have one but that’s just me.

Be good, or else…

SJ

But I Want to be Perfect

 

nobody-is-perfect-688367_960_720

Hello lovelies,

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this from the subbies I work with.  Let me cut to the chase, nobody is perfect and no Dom expects you to be.

When I take on a newbie it’s generally because she has some things she would like help with. Usually there might be some bad habits or behaviors etc. requiring a little more motivation.

Just the nature of that statement should tell you that I expect a newbie to mess up. Otherwise why would she ask for my help?

Let me assure all of you, no Dom expects you to be perfect. I know for a lot of you, pleasing your Dom is very important, and it should be, but don’t beat yourself up when you misbehave or break a rule.

Speaking for myself, this never makes me angry. My subbies will tell you I don’t get mad but breaking a rule over and over does get me frustrated. After I hit that point I begin working on that hole in my music room where I bang my head…and not in the heavy metal way lol.

My point is this… to all my subbies, experienced and newbies, and to all of you that read the posts, don’t try for perfection. It’s not going to happen and when you mess up take your discipline and learn from it. But do not get depressed or upset that you disappointed me or your Doms. Trust me, I know it’s going to happen from time to time.

I mean if you were perfect why would you need a Dom right? However, I am not saying you shouldn’t at least try to be a well behaved subbie but let’s face it, nobody is good 100% of the time. Just know I am aware of that as are you so relax and   just be you. That’s what D/s is all about, a place where you can be who you truly are.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Too Hard, Too Light, Just Right

2015-12-14

Hello lovelies,

I thought I would write something a bit different today. In fact I want you all to interact with me on this. I want your feedback on a topic I was thinking about.

I would like to know what denotes a perfect spanking for you. One that if you were talking to your vanilla friends or sister subbies you would say “man he can really spank.”

There are many layers to consider, I know. I would think you all will differ here and there.

Consider a reward or play spanking. Then a punishment spanking.

All otk? All by hand only? Be as detailed as you like. And of course enjoy!!

Be good, or else…

SJ

Immediate Honesty

8407967205_b48bb99e2f_o

Hello lovelies,

First, let me say this, I love women. I always have. I’ve always hung with women more than guys. I mean come on, who wouldn’t? Plus the added perk of being so spankable and there is a chance you’re a subbie, lol.

That being said, you all tend to hold things in. If you’re a sub it’s holding things in times a gazillion. As a Dom I need to know where my subs are emotionally, at all times. This is vital because I could say or do something in a session that might be a trigger, create a big deal and not knowing my sub was feeling emotional about a certain thing that day would end badly.

I work with every subbie I have on this…all the time. I don’t know why subbies hold things in and make their lives more stressful and more emotional than they already are. I am pretty good at knowing when a subbie is off. I can tell you when I ask “What’s wrong?” and a sub says “oh nothing, I’m fine,” I want to bang my head against the wall of my music room. Yes, there is a small hole there already, lol.

Immediate honesty is so important. I can’t tell you how many times I knew something was up, or worse, thought everything was fine and then I get an email 3 days later… “Sir, I think I may have to quit” or “Why did you say this to me,” or “I’m so angry with you.”

This is so frustrating for me because this could have been settled 3 days ago if my sub would have just said “can we talk,” or at least answered what was wrong when I originally asked. As a Dom I am responsible for my sub’s emotional wellbeing and when a subbie hides her feelings from me it can turn out very badly.

So to those of you with Doms, or just in relationships, I have three words for you…Stop doing this!! Immediate honesty is difficult, I know, but it always works out better. It saves you so much anxiety and stress.

My subbies will tell you it’s stressful enough being my submissive, so why add to it? Just say what you feel when you feel it. It will make things much easier and also save my wall from further damage.

Be good, or else…

SJ

%d bloggers like this: