Force vs. Dom Force

women

 

Hello lovelies, did you miss me? Yes, I missed you too. So what in the heck is this blog post about right?  Well let me explain by two different scenarios, and I really want your feedback. So here we go..

Scenario one:  You  have a date and you are getting ready to leave with your man,  but you decide to brat …Oh I know none of you would ever think of such a thing, but just play along. Ok so you start to brat you are warned to behave. You brat more, and are informed you will be spanked, so you laugh and run…Your date catches you, drags you to the couch. As you are fighting, he pulls up the dress and pulls the panties down, and then…spank city. Pretty hot right?  Well hold on.

Scenario two: Same thing but when your date tells you that you are going to be spanked, you start to laugh. But then you get the look…For those of you who know this look, you understand. For those of you who do not, thats too bad. Ask Bree or Nikki, they can explain it to you. Instead of running or laughing, you are transfixed. It’s not that you don’t want to run, but you really cannot look away. Then the Dom says, come. here. now. Well, you know whats going to happen, but you cannot disobey. You walk to where he is seated. He says dress up now. You obey. Then he says, over my lap. Again you obey and you raise your hips submissively as the panties come down.

Now that’s hot …So what did I just teach you? Scenario one is kind of hot but it is physical force. Unless you are a body builder, it is safe to assume your man can over power you. But so what? A vanilla guy can do that. Big deal, right? But scenario two is Dom force. A Dom, a real Dom, never has to physically force you into a position for discipline. The voice, the look, and the vibe, will be irresistible to you even if you know the punishment will be very painful.

So lets hear from you. Force or Dom force? I practice the latter. However, you may have a different take.

Be good or else. FAREWELL FOR NOW,  and lets hear from all of you.

SJ

Sub Space: A Dom’s Perspective

 

close up woman in water

Hello lovelies. So those who know what this means, congrats, for those who do not, please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. This is for sure, an E- ticket. First let me say this, one of the greatest gifts a Dom can give his sub is to take her into sub space because…drum roll…it’s all about the sub and giving her pleasure. Can I get an Amen from the subbies? So what the heck is this?

 

OK, sub space is kind of hard to explain, but I will give it a try- I imagine after you all read this Bree will get a ton of emails lol- Its a state of being where you are kind of floating. Very peaceful, and where, now hang in here, the pain becomes pleasure. No its not about being a masochist, this is different. I should point out as edification for you all, and also for any would be Tops reading this, you must be in good shape.This is a long process, and can take hundreds and hundreds of spanks to even get in the subspace gate. A strong arm and hand are vital.

 

So let me take you though this. Like I said, hold on its an e ticket. (Nikki here-for those of you that don’t know, apparently e-ticket is usually the ticket for the fastest and scariest rides-don’t worry if you didn’t get that, I didn’t either). I believe its best to use some sensory deprivation to start. A blindfold maybe, head phones, etc. This is all about feeling. No hearing or seeing. I use restraints, it is not absolutely necessary, but when the submissive struggles and can not escape, there is a special component that is not present if she is permitted to move all over the place.

 

Ok, the Dom begins with a hand spanking bb (bare bottomed) of course (the sub not the Dom)..Now this is not a punishment, this is a gift, so the spanking should be hard enough to redden and give a good sting, but not go into punishment mode. The spanking must progress slowly. However, this is the only time a sub may have a say in how she is spanked. She is permitted to ask for it slower or harder, faster, etc..After all, the goal is to get through the gate, and hopefully have a few good orgasms on the way. Its not unusual to have more than a few,  but that’s not the big payoff.

 

Ok, so the spanking has gone on for a while. Maybe a long while. The sub has gone from ow! to  hmmmm, to light moans.  This is a good sign. This means the spanks are beginning to heat up not only her bb, but other places as well. And most important, the Doms hands and mouth between spanks are hardly idle. Do hear another Amen!  Ok a sure sign the subbie is on her way into sub space is the way she will raise her bb up for the spanks, not try to avoid them. At this point the Dom will spank harder as she can take so much more when in sub-space.

 

By this time  the O’s  should have been up there in number and intensity.  Also now the implements are introduced. I use leather a lot because of the sensual feel of a flogger or strap. But a sub may want wood, or even a cane, it all depends on how deep she is.  Again slowly, but the same sign will let you know how hard-  the bb raised for the flogger or strap is the key sign, and there should be considerable moaning. And of course keep going back to the hand spanks. The session must start with the hand, as its so important for the connection; flesh to flesh.That is why you need to be able, as a Dom, to spank a long time. A really long time, sometimes. Anyway, once the sub has accepted the implement the Dom can go harder. The sub is not really feeling the pain now, only the heat and the strong strokes from her Dom. And yes, more O’s on the way. Again, this is interspersed with hands and mouth. Not to get too graphic, but i am sure you get the picture. So right when the subbie is way into subspace, thats when the two of you connect, and at the end of the ride is the golden “0”. There is no orgasm like a sub space orgasm. Take the best vanilla you have ever had, and multiply it by …oh I don’t know, a zillion may be too high, but not by much. And the Dom is quite happy also, but as i said its the Dom’s gift to his sub. The ultimate gift, so the goal is for her to experience this to the point of not being able to move or speak. Well  you know what i mean.

 

Ok ladies  thats my post and yes the topic was very fresh in my mind  so i was inspired to write until next time be good or else!

 

SJ

The Dom Dynamic & Balance

 

scales of justice

Wow this sounds lofty…Well, not really. You see ladies, I was inspired today to write this. I just finished the rough draft of Blindfolded. OK no pouting, it is part of the perks of being married to the beautiful and amazing, Breanna Hayse, so get over it. OK,  this is an amazing book. Maybe her best yet, and as you know, that’s saying something. The female character and the male character dynamic is really so close to Bree and I…OK duh, he is called Master J, but that’s not the point. As I was reading, I was struck by just how important balance is, in a Dom, and how it is essential in a Dom/sub relationship. Hey some Dom’s do not want to admit it, but we all have the dark/light yin/yang female/male characteristics. Now this is the tricky part; go too far one way, and you will be an abusive jerk. Too far the other, and you will be too passive to ever get a sub to respect or obey you. A Dom needs to be an example for his sub. He must always protect and treasure her. In fact, I treat Bree like a queen every day. Go ahead, ask her, hopefully she will back me up or I will look really lame here.

 

Now does that mean she walks all over me? No. Does it mean she has no rules?   No. Does it mean I hold back if she is deserving of punishment? No, no, and no.  But the balance must be there. A Dom must be fair, and just, and as I said, he must set an example for his sub. If a Dom says no smoking, he cannot smoke. If he says no speeding, he cannot speed. At least this is how I operate. I would never punish Bree for an offense that I am also guilty of. Here’s the tough part again, balance.

 

How do you, as a Dom, command respect and obedience, without being overbearing, or worse, abusive?  But, also loving and kind enough to nurture  your relationship, without being too weak to command anything. Well it’s not easy, let me tell you. But I think it can be simplified in a way. As I said, I treat Bree like a treasure, which she is. I put all my energy into letting her know this, and feel it. But when she disobeys, it’s the same energy- but it turns to my darker side.

 

The commitment I have to Bree to be loving caring etc. is just as strong when I need to be strict, or even severe. Although truth be told, in the last 9 years maybe 5 times have I had to be severe. Bree is a very, very, good sub. But for her to feel secure and protected, and yes, loved, she needs to know I have both sides… Wait for it…right! Balance. Even when a punishment is difficult to administer, yes that happens even though I love getting Bree’s beautiful bb cherry red, there are times she needs more than just my hand. And once I decree she’s to be punished, I never back down. Unless she has a valid reason for her behavior, or maybe going through, or just emerging from a traumatic event. Come on, I am not a monster ladies.

 

Well you will see when you read blindfolded. Anyway, IMO, to make a true 24/7 D/s relationship work- which is what Bree and I have – the Dom must be balanced. Equally yin/yang, etc. If you are a subbie looking for a Dom, this is imperative for you. Never settle for less, it will not work. For those of you in happy relationships, you already know this. Well that’s all for now.

 

Be good, or else!

 

SJ

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Thank You…

 

Hello all my lovelies. I am going to respond to each individual post you sent me, but first I need to make something clear. Bree and I are not having any kind of marital problems. That was not the impression I wanted to convey. We are fine, and we worked out the problem, so all is good.

I also wanted to thank you all for your posts. They really helped a lot. This was a difficult blog post because I really laid it out there. Hard to do as a man, double as a Dom. So thank you for being so supportive.

SJ

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