The Coin has Two Sides

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Hello lovelies,

Last time I listed the top 5 reasons to take on a sub and this week I thought about the top 5 things a Dom needs so he can be a positive Dom for a sub. Sound good? Now this is not about the voice, or having the look etc. this is different. Hang in there it will be fun. Here we go and stop yawning!!!

1) Patience- This is a big one. I think we have established all subbies are crazy, to differing degrees, also very frustrating at times…very. Then add numbers to that and well I think you see my point. You see, a Dom never yells or gets mad. Does that mean the wall in my music room does not have a dent in it from me banging my head? No…it does but that’s just part of the wonderful world of a Dom.

2) Consistency- This is also a big one. A sub cannot trust a Dom fully if he is inconsistent. It’s not easy to be on top of everything, all the time but a Dom must try to be. First, he must have the desire to be, then he has to work at it. As I said, the more subs you train the harder it is but it can be done.

3) Fairness- Though some of you lovelies I do train may disagree at times on your punishments, I think all of you would agree I am always fair. A Dom must listen and evaluate every situation. Maybe the sub has a point? Usually she’s just weaseling but it does happen on occasion and a Dom needs to be open to at least considering inexperience. A Dom will make a sub feel safer and more secure if she knows he knows what he’s doing. If I tell a sub she’s in for the cane she has to feel secure in the knowledge that I know how to use it. It’s scary enough knowing you are going to be punished with an implement if you doubt the Dom’s skill it’s going to turn out badly, even worse if you’re right.

4) Time- It takes time to train a sub and a lot of time to train a lot of subs. If you take that on you must devote time to each one and her special needs as all subs are different. I try to check in on my subbies every day to see if they are ok, have questions, or have done the tasks I have given them etc. It takes time but I love it and it’s all worth it when a subbie begins to blossom in her submission and the D/s lifestyle.

5) Caring- This may be the most important building block for a good D/s relationship. If the Dom does not care about the subbie learning, growing and becoming a better person then why bother? I put all my subs first, I do not put me first…and no I’m not talking about me indulging in my sadistic side and spanking a sub whenever I want. I’m talking about her needs and what will make a positive change in her life. I want all my subs to be happy and feel better about themselves and their life, in general, than they did before they started training with me.

Pay it forward is my mantra. Now there are many other traits a Dom needs but these kind of popped into my Dom brain today so I just went with the flow.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

To Sub-bie or Not to Sub-bie

 

Hello  lovelies,

What the heck is this all about? It’s actually a very clever pun that hopefully most of you will get after reading this post. A lot of subs ask me “SJ what do you look for in a sub, as far as taking her on to train?”

Starting to get my pun? No? Not yet huh? Man tough crowd.

I am quite discerning when taking on a submissive so here’s my top 5 reasons for doing so and why.

1) Seriousness- If the sub does not truly want to learn, grow and find just how deep her submissive goes then she’s wasting my time. She must be willing to mind me and trust me, although trust must be earned over time.

2) Intelligence- If I can’t engage in a conversation, beyond just spanking, with the sub it’s going to get very boring. Also D/s is quite complicated at times and the sub must be able to grasp and comprehend certain things that are important in the training.

3) Checking emails regularly- This may seem trivial but it’s not. I have a lot of info to dispense at times or a task that I need done. If I don’t have a sub that is good about checking her messages that won’t work.

4) Sense of humor- Look I know you all think of me as Mr. Meanie but  I am pretty funny and I like a subbie that can make me laugh, it can’t be dark all the time or just about spanking, well maybe 90/10 lol.

5) Maturity and emotional stability- This may be the most important, as you all know subbies be crazy but….there is a limit lol. D/s training is a roller coaster with very high highs and then major drops and lows. If the sub does not have some level of emotional stability it can turn out to be a disaster. Not so important is chronological age, some subs can be very mature at a young age.

The bottom line is, if a sub meets these criteria I will try to help her in any way I can that’s what I do and that’s what Bree does. I believe in pay it forward, I bet all of you do to.

Be good, or else…

SJ

PS Oh did you get my pun?

Why Won’t you Mind me, I’m a Domme!

Hello lovelies,

You are probably all wondering what’s with the title? Doesn’t sound like our meanie SJ, well no it’s not  but gather round for today’s tale…

Once upon a time in a place not so far away there was a special kingdom. In this kingdom was a beautiful and generous Queen named Breanna Hayse, wife of Mr. Meanie, King of the Universe Sir John Hayse.

Now SJ was also very generous and allowed his queen to leave the castle and travel for many days to the kingdom where she was to hold court with all of her friends, littles and submissives. She did so with great joy and loved her time there, only having to go to her dark place a few times with a look, so the legend says, that rivaled Medusa herself.

But, as will happen in these stories the queen forgot who the king truly was at the castle.

Upon arriving home and in the warm bosom of her loving husband and faithful border collies she attempted the look at the king. Not only that, but in some moment of loss of mind, attempted to order him and try and be a domme.

Now the king loves her truly but this could never be allowed. So for several minutes the queen was in a most undignified position having her royal bottom reddened and her pleas of “Why won’t you mind me I’m a dome?” echoing thru the castle.

After, all was right in the Hayse castle again and a valuable lesson was learned by the queen…

Just because you rule one kingdom does not mean you rule the castle.

And they lived spankfully ever after.

The End

Be good, or else…

SJ

Different Strokes

spanking

Hello lovelies,

I want to talk today about spanking. Yes I know, that’s a surprise SJ! Some of you may not realize how many different kinds of spankings there are. Here in the Hayse house I employ quite a few.

Step this way, the tour is about to begin…

Punishment:

This can involve a lot of things and are usually done in the punishment room: hand, brush, heart paddle, school paddle, strap and if you are really bad the cane, rug beater or my thin whip. Hey, don’t panic on me…I said really bad. Also for the cane or something similar I do use the spanking bench to tie you down so that you don’t move and get the stroke in a very bad area. See what an awesome and considerate Dom I am?

Follow me  to the next stop on the tour…

Reminder spankings:

These can be done anywhere usually just hand and a red bottom but not really painful. It’s  just a reminder to be good today.

Welcome spankings:

This is when you visit, it’s a way of welcoming you to our house and a reminder that you are expected to behave. Again, hand and a red bottom but not really painful.

Sub space:

Now you’re back with me right? This is usually done in the bedroom, on our bed or on our massage table   but could be on the futon in punishment room. Now this is the one time you get to have input. A subspace session is all about you and getting you to that kind of out of body zone. You can request your favorite implements,  how hard , how slow  etc. What I do find is that once you are in the zone you can’t really talk so it’s up to me to keep you there. I try to do at least one of these when a subbie visits.

Reward spankings:

Like a reminder but more of a pleasant sting. These are given if you have been very good.

Thank you for taking the tour…You can make your reservations anytime.

Be good, or else…

SJ

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