This week we I am so pleased to introduce my Uncle K. He is warm and fuzzy and the best uncle around. And he is gonna talk a little bit about Age Play and what it means to him. Please feel free to comment and ask any questions you may have. If you do not want to comment publicly though, just email me and I am happy to forward his email address to you.
My good friend and favorite niece BreeBree, asked me if I would do a post about age play for her blog. When someone as cute as her asks, it is hard to say no. Well, not that hard, and I like this topic and her so here we go.
To her I am Uncle K. I have been into age play for the past ten years of my life. Five of those years have been spent with my wife and little girl, Lily. Over the past five years we have had our ups and downs, but I have never been closer to anyone in my whole life, and age play has played a big role in that.
I got my start a long time ago, with a girlfriend who was into age play. While the relationship with this girl was short lived, it changed something inside me. Every relationship I have had since has been a Daddy/little girl one.
Age play can cover pretty much any age. A majority of littles are younger but can range from infants, toddlers, or even up to teens. Yes… some not only act the part but dress it as well. Including wearing adult diapers and adult size baby clothes. And yes, some do use their diapers for their intended purpose. The little’s partner is normally a parental figure to them, but can also be an uncle, brother, cousin or any variation. In my case I have always been a Daddy to Lily or an Uncle to a few others.
One of the main questions I am asked about this lifestyle is “do you ever get tired of being a Daddy or an Uncle all the time?” My answer is simply, no. I do not mind taking care of others, I enjoy it. Like I tell my girl all the time, my number one job is to take care of her, and to love her. This means helping her with homework, keeping her on task, rubbing her back so she can sleep at night, packing her lunch, picking out her clothes, and well, you get the point. While some people think this is totally unfair for one person to do all that and more all the time, I would remind them that I enjoy this and gladly signed up for it. There are also people that think that being cared for this way sounds like an easy life and would love to jump right in. This is also not the case.
This is a unique type of relationship, one that involves a great deal of trust. For someone to open up like this to another person is a gift. They are exposing themselves to their very core. This is why when people ask me questions about getting into this, I always tell them to think about what they are willing to put out there. Whether being a Big or a little, there is a lot to think about. As a Big you have to want to be responsible for another person, much like you would a child. You also have to be ready to earn and maintain their trust in you. As a little, you have to make sure you are ready to depend on another person, and are willing to place them in control of even little things like feeding, or playing with you.
This isn’t to say that bumps don’t come along. Come on, everyone makes mistakes, things can be fixed but sometimes it takes longer to fix then others, especially when trust or communication breaks down. The most important thing to remember is to be open and honest with yourself and your partner. Regardless of your roles in the relationship, communication is the key. I would definitely recommend talking about the good and the bad that happened during your age play time, particularly if this is a new area for you. Sometimes little people forget that us Bigs can’t read minds, and we need a hand in figuring out where to go and what to do next.
I encourage anyone who thinks that this type of relationship is something you want, to go for it. The worse thing that happens is that you find out it is something that you really don’t want after all. If anyone has questions or comments, I am happy to answer them, and give any help or advice I can to help you find your way, or just help get things back on track.
Also, if you would like the littles perspective, Uncle K’s wife Lilly has a blog where she shares her life with her Daddy.
Bree was a guest blogger on Joelle Casteel’s blog last week and I wanted to share the article with you. On Joell’s site, she referenced another blog about age play vs daddy doms. Anyway, something on that site really fired Bre up. So read the article Bre wrote then read the part from the other site that got Bree’s panties in a twist. Then you can hop on over to Joelle’s site. Its great and I know you will enjoy looking around and getting to know here better.
Thanks for inviting me over, Joelle! You are talking about one of my favorite topics… Ok here goes!!
My writing career started with The Game Plan [Joelle interrupts to say, I just started this book and I couldn’t put it down. I had to grab my stuffed puppy and go to sleep long after I should have]… But the research started way before. As most of you know, I have an MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Alternative Lifestyles and couples counseling. I pursued those to gain some answers about my own needs and desires and discovered AP in the process.
I wrote an article a while back on my blog about AP, what it was and what it was not. In summary, it is a type of role play in which one, or more, partners takes on the adult/big position of authority, decision making, responsibility while the other, the little, assumes the responsibilities and activities of a certain age group. I must emphasize that AP is NOT about adults having sex with children, child abuse or anything of the sort. It is simply a technique that provides the little a chance to revert back to a time where he/she has less responsibilities and is permitted the freedom to react, rather than respond, to a life situation. Come on now… I am certain several of those people reading this have wished they could, as adults, stomp their feet, stick our their tongues, throw a tantrum or pout…. Without being called a big baby!
I wish I could tell you with absolute certainty that everyone involved in AP has had, or has not had, childhood issues… But that is not the case. AP’ ers come from all walks of life and on many different education levels as do those involved in DS. Although the majority of the ones I have been involved with have had experienced some sort of major childhood trauma, there are also some who were blessed with incredible childhoods and parenting examples. Either way, they have chosen this lifestyle because it works for them and they are thriving because of it.
You specifically asked how the Daddy/little relationship worked and what both parties got out of it…..
I mentioned above that it is a form of role play and that the couple/family (sometimes there are more than two involved) worked. It is a consensual release of control by the little to the authority figure.. Not always a daddy.. The big roles are vast in number, and depend on the involvement the individuals wish to take in the ‘raising’ of the little. The big role can include, but is not limited to, parent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, teacher, cousin, guardian…. Any authority that is ‘older’ and maintains control. The little, likewise, can be a child of any age group and whose role depends on that of the big. The object of the lifestyle is for the little to release him or herself to the control of the big, and for the big to nurture, guide and direct the little, and provide him/her a safe environment to explore the inner child.
Bigs are also responsible for disciplinary action should their littles misbehave, and that can range to whatever means the big feels his/her little requires. Let me emphasize, again, that we are NOT dealing with real children… Merely adults who are taking on child like qualities and behaviors… Therefore, actions such as spankings, punishment enemas, and sex are often used together with time outs, writing lines, and removal of privileges. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it, however, I am sure most Bigs agree that the sexual aspects of the lifestyle are explored when the little is allowed to transform back into a big.
Trust is the ultimate benefit of this relationship. The little is completely exposed and vulnerable when she/he submits to the big, and trusts him/her with the delicate process of guarding not just the body, but the heart, mind and soul. The big has a huge responsibility in this lifestyle… Just like a real parent.
The AP lifestyle also provides opportunity for healing from past hurts… And any new players should be completely away [I wonder if Breebree meant “aware”] of possible emotional, mental or physical triggers prior to entering this arena. I do recommended that, in the beginning, a cue or safe word be decided on which would allow one, or the other, to pause and discuss an issue or discomfort as it arises. Secrets are not an option in this role… Too many things come to surface and the individuals must be patient and willing to address them.
On a personal note… I was introduced to AP and AB (adult baby… Infantilism) several years ago while researching my thesis. Coming from a background of abuse, I wanted to learn about the depth of my daddy issues and seek some answers. John and I live 24/7 in DS, but our AP is more restricted to special days or times when I am feeling particularly vulnerable or overwrought. We are also expanding our lifestyle knowledge with the help of my Uncle K and his little girl, Lp. I find it very difficult to release all control to Daddy, and I know Daddy finds it challenging to constantly be on the lookout for me. I cannot help but admire those people, like Uncle K and Lp, who live the lifestyle 24/7. The amount of trust and love that goes into it, along with the physical, mental and emotional aspects, is mind blowing!
I hope this helps answer some questions and perhaps, bring new ones to surface. I have to go now.. It is time for my nap and Daddy promised we would watch Little Mermaid and eat ice cream if I went to sleep without complaining.
OK so Joelle referenced, as I said another blog with some slightly different perspectives. Thats ok. I mean, everyone feels or lives this lifestyle with their own twists. But Bre was upset by this passage:
Sex in a Daddy/little relationship is not done like that of role players where the sexual attraction stems from deep seeded interest in incest or pedophilia. Sex between a Daddy and his little is just like sex between any people in a relationship.It is SO wrong with absolutely no psychological or substantial basis whatsoever. In fact, this statement would put millions of good people.. Parents, teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc. on the sex offenders list. I know several people in the lifestyle who prosecute sex offenders and go above and beyond their means to protect children. To a reasonable and prudent person, the terms little, AB and AP are synonymous, and I challenge anyone to prove differently. In essence, she accused those who don’t engage in the lifestyle full time to be perverts.
If this statement disturbs you, please go to the site and educate this woman!!!