Ok lovelies, I want to address a serious topic here, also for any would be Doms reading this, listen up. It’s important.
There are a lot of men and women who equate a proper spanking with abuse. This is not the case, and I’d like to put things into perspective. In order to do this I need to share a bit of my past with you, not an easy thing as I am pretty private person, but I think this is important.
My childhood was constant abuse from my mother both verbal and physical. I was whipped or switched almost daily until I was big enough to say no more. My father did nothing to help and if it were not for my grandmother, I never would have made it. Physical abuse is out of control violence. The strokes or blows can land anywhere. The abuser does not care where. It can go on as long as the abuser does not tire out. It was not unusual for my legs or arms, etc. to be switched and cut or my body bruised from a belt or whatever was around. Now this is not a poor me story, I tell you this to illustrate a point.
What I have described is abuse. A spanking is not. A punishment spanking hurts, I won’t lie to you. It hurts a lot, but the difference is that it’s controlled and always just the bb. Can a punishment mark? Yes, it can, especially when an implement is being used. But, like I said, never out of control strokes. A Dom is always aware of how the sub’s bb is reacting. You see, an abuser does not care if you mark or even bleed. A Dom would never go too far. Control is key. Not to mention the fact that he cares about teaching you a valuable lesson. An abuser, like my mother, would just get mad, lose her temper and start hitting me, a lot of times for no reason at all, other than she lost control.
I keep coming back to control. It’s all about control, never anger. A Dom never punishes if he is angry and I mean never. Also, there is always after care following a punishment, especially a severe one. This is not the case with an abuser. Now all Doms have a sadistic side, some more than others. After all we do love seeing a crimson bb otk or bent over. Even so we always have the subbie’s safety and best interest at heart. We’re always watching out for any problems, during a session, to ensure their physical and emotional wellbeing. Again, an abuser could care less, trust me I know.
In conclusion, let me say to all of you, a proper spanking is not abuse, even if the sub’s bb marks. Always make sure after care is given. It’s hard a lot of times for subs and, especially new Doms to understand what I have been saying but I’d like you to think about it. A Dom must always…
Keep in control.
Only give your sub what she deserves.
Do so from a caring place.
I sincerely hope this helps some of you.
Said with love and caring,
P.S. Thank you for all of the great ideas and suggestions you guys left in the comments and all the emails you sent me. I’ll definitely be using those in my future posts so stick around.