Rebuttal-Safety Warnings…


Hi Ya’ll,

John and I are getting quite a bit of flack regarding sending out the warning about this guy, who knowingly violated the personal space of two women. They don’t like us calling him a predator, although his actions are repetitive and known to occur because ‘that’s how he is’. They don’t like us calling him a molester- even though he touches/kisses personal areas without asking. They don’t like us giving a name, description or setting forth a warning.  My question, what if it was you who is the next victim of his ‘admiration’?

I wanted to share my response regarding the request to remove the information we have given…I have altered  names to protect the victims, but otherwise, it is unchanged.  Here goes…

I stand by my choice that the fact these people KNOW how he is (quoting the victim) and to still allow this behavior to continue indicates an ongoing practice of ‘poor judgment’ that is either ignored, unaddressed, or viewed as nonessential.  I cannot wait, in good conscience, for someone to be injured before a warning goes out about this. As you know, the fight or flight mechanism does not strike everyone at the time of an event, and these leaves the victims assuming the responsibility for something the top should have respected and honored- or at least asked.  He did not do so. He assumed and took advantage of VICTIM in a vulnerable position. Morally and ethically, what he did was wrong and he does it to others.

I know he pays for play. If the concern that he will be shut down, thus loosing revenue for women he hires, takes precedence in determining the allowance of him continuing with such as activity at open parties, then there is a conflict of interest that clearly favors those who are concerned about income rather than the safety of others.

Why must someone get hurt before something is done to stop it, especially in the case where he is known to repeat these activities?  I have a duty to my readers to protect them from anyone who might cause them harm. All it takes is one– the wrong one– and all this fun everyone is having can be shut down. I don’t wish that anymore than you, so I need to do what I can to protect those girls who don’t know any better or think it will never happen to them. I don’t care about his reputation (it is already questionable from what I am told), nor do I care about his paid play partners and their incomes. He needs to stay in that mode. I care about the little girl who he touches and it sends her into a panic.  I care about the ones out there who don’t know what to expect, thinking that because he is old, he is going to be respectful and not take advantage of them. I care about the victims of molestation who blame themselves for something another person did to them and who were too scared and confused to do anything about it.

I’ve worked raped and molestation cases. Cases were the victim was found to be at FAULT because she dressed in a way that invited the criminal to hurt her.  I have personally witnessed men being let loose because the victim was too scared to say no- date rape cases are notorious for that.. The person who is hurt is the victim and it is something she has to live with, shamefully and with regret, for the rest of her life.

I was one of these, fyi. I was gang banged by my ex-husband and his buddies, and there was NOTHING I could do about it because I did not say no. Fear silences you. I will NOT turn a blind eye to anyone, especially MY GIRL, who are victims of even a dirty old man who invades their personal space.

Final word, the fact that THE VICTIMS had to bring this to the attention of the party organizer; the fact that this guy has a reputation of violating personal space and is still allowed to participate in these parties; and the fact that my GIRL is being left to feel she is at fault for something he chose to do, indicates that this is a significant issue that cannot go ignored. I have done what I can do to protect the people who look to me for advice, my readers.  Maybe one girl can be saved and that will be fine by me.

Some of you might not agree with the stand I am taking. I just pray that you aren’t the next one across his lap who would be hurt by unwanted attention.  Please, my darlings, take care of yourselves and be careful. Mama Bear loves you and God help anyone who hurts one of my babies.


10 thoughts on “Rebuttal-Safety Warnings…

  1. I also live on another continent, but being new to the scene any information and warnings are a good thing. The more we know the better choices we make and can stay safe.

  2. Even though I live on another continent I side with you Bree! So important that we look out for one another and make this world a safer place. No matter where you are at geografically safety first! Thanks for standing up for everyone Bree. And I think we all agree with SJ sentiments!

    • Parties can be safe if organized by responsible people and if you know there are guidelines to follow. Unfortunately, the organizers cannot supervise everything that happens which is why it is so vital to have other people watching out for each other, and to stop ANYTHING that is out of line. Report, no matter how minor others might think the violation is, if someone disregards your safety or the rules of the event. The bottom line is that you are putting yourself into a vulnerable position, literally, and need to know that YOU are in control and can say NO. Never feel obligated, Use your safe word and if you don’t know the person, make your boundaries clear BEFORE you engage. if they balk, leave them and let the organizers know what happened.
      Before you attend, get to know the ones who throw it, and those who participate. Ask questions, like.. how do you deal with rule violators? How do you monitor and keep banned people from coming in? I am new at this, so how do I guard my safety…?. A good organizer will answer and guide you. a bad one will dismiss you, hence, avoid that event. There are parties, (like BBW held on the east coast here in the US), that the organizers go to great pains to ensure safety is paramount, and that every participant is taken care of and welcomed. But even then, having someone to watch your back is important because rule breakers will try to slip in. John and I personally don’t attend parties on our side of the world (west coast/southern California),but my sister and her friends are very careful when they go out. They know there is power in numbers and with that, safety.
      Don’t be afraid. The party scene is not about discipline, its about fun. Don’t allow these jerks to take that from you or anyone else.

  3. I am sorry that you are being discouraged to post this information but I agree with you. These are supposed to be safe parties for people to play. The event organizer should know and trust everyone that they invite and money should not be a factor in it at all. Spreading the word lets everyone know what that individual is like so the next person has all the facts before they play with him.

  4. I am not looking for praise, but thank you. I can’t close my eyes and pretend these things don’t exist. I am being informed now that I can’t be ‘trusted’ because I took a stand. Things like this should never be secrets. ugly things happen when kept in the dark and when secrets like this are kept, people are hurt.. I just hope that one day my girl will understand why I had to be true to my own conscience and the value I place on life, and that I love her enough to risk my relationship with her if I can prevent this from ever happening to her or anyone else again.
    I won’t apologize. Sometimes standing up for something means standing alone, and I won’t budge. the jerk, and anyone who supports him, owes her and her friend an apology and needs to keep away from my baby. If you are reading this, honey. I love you.

  5. I want to say publicly how incredibly proud I am of Bree.We are both getting heat for our standon this but , right is right .Bree is the strongest woman I have ever known and if she feels she is right she will stand against an army .I love and respect her for that. She is always an inspiration to me ,and has the biggest heart there could ever be . I love her down to my soul ..and i am truly blessed ..

  6. Bree I am SO PROUD OF YOU! You are doing the right thing when the right thing is not the easy thing For evil to continue only takes good people to do nothing Thanks for standing up when standing up is not the easiest thing to do Thank you Sir John to Have a awesome day and stand strong as I know you will

    • I applaud you Bree for looking out for others. We CANNOT stand by when people are victimized and we could’ve helped. If we do, we are no better than people who do harm. Well done!

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