I was thinking I need to make something clear to you all. For those of you who are in a D/s relationship, this will not be news, but for those of you thinking about entering into a D/s relationship it can be a valuable post. As I have told you, a relationship with D/s as its foundation is the best dynamic you can have.
Is a Dom supportive? Yes
Fair? Yes, although many subs would disagree.
Sounds pretty good right? What a D/s relationship is not, is a democracy. Now you are thinking, wait a minute this was sounding great but what does this mean?
Speaking for myself, a submissive that I train must be strong willed and have her own opinions, in vanilla things that is. It’s ok if she disagrees with me even, and sometimes the outer fringes of D/s she can but, when it comes to being accountable, or what type of punishment is needed, how hard, which implements etc. there is no vote. There is one voice and one decision maker, the Dom.
You see, when you enter into a D/s dynamic one of the things you are asking the Dom to help you with is altering bad habits. To do this he must hold you accountable to his standards and rules, not yours. The Dom’s way of looking at your behaviors is all that matters, as I said, not a democracy. One alpha, one decision maker. Now before you start yelling about how no man is going to control me etc. stop and think.
You want a strong Dom right?
One you cannot manipulate right?
One that is fair but strict right?
One that will hold you accountable for bad behaviors right?
One that can control you right?
Ta da!! I rest my case. The Dom sets the boundaries in the beginning. When you, as a sub, accept this you are trusting that he knows what’s best for you and, will not be deterred in applying the proper motivation, if needed, to get you to behave. This is the reality of the dynamic. This is why you must trust your Dom totally. After all, you did tell him you needed help, or he surmised it and you agreed. Either way, once you are in, you are in for the whole deal.
Another, lighter, aspect of this not being a democracy is that when you agree to enter into this dynamic your Dom owns your bottom. Relax, you are not in a dungeon or locked in a cage waiting for your Dom’s entrance, although some of you may like that, lol. What I mean is, I think I speak for most Dom’s when I tell you all, the sexiest sight ever is a female red bb. Bree is spanked a lot, not for punishment but she knows the deal. I own her spankable bottom, so whenever I want to see it red she has to comply. It’s always best when she does, as arguing or hesitating can make what was going to be a pleasant warm bottom, a very uncomfortable hot one.
Reality, for some of you might sound pretty good after all. Just thought I would write a bit about this for you all. It is indeed a two sided coin and all subbies live with that love/hate thing, just the way it is. Love it or hate it, or both right?
Be good, or else…