Feminism Starts With The Word Feminine…



Hi Peeps!


I have been getting tons of private emails lately asking a very specific question…

How does D&S affect women today who are ‘feminists‘?  Thanks to a friend of mine, Julia, from waaaaaay far away, I wanted to bring up this discussion from the viewpoint of your friend, a fellow submissive, a psychologist, and a ‘feminist’, per se.


I must first emphasize to be very careful as to where you get your information as you explore the ins and outs of this lifestyle. Blogs are fun, but keep in mind that many who talk the talk, do not walk the walk. There is a huge difference between fact and fantasy, so try to limit your exploration to those who actively live the lifestyle, not just play or talk about playing. How do you know? Well, besides asking, read what it written. No sub would ever disrespect his/her Dom by constantly talking about their sexual relationships, especially in explicit detail, or presenting herself poorly to others. See who talks with who… And what influences them the most. A strong sub will not be sucked into others games. I know this sounds like I am scolding… But one of my pet peeves are the posers…


Let us start with the definition of feminism. It is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

It is NOT saying that women are the same as men. Um, take a look down south…. Our physical body shows that. Are we as good as men (or better then some)? Yep. But, we are NOT men. Good thing, too. They are too hairy…. And I hate shaving.

Unfortunately, the movement has altered so much that women proclaiming themselves as feminists have started to believe that it means they are not to submit to any man, or allow any man to care or show old-fashioned respect to. They scoff at men who offer to carry their bags, pay for meals, open car door or pull out their chairs. To you gals… Well, all I can say is you are really missing out. Nothing in this world makes a woman feel more powerful  than when a man is ready and willing to do things for her!!! EVERY MORNING, John, my big, bad Dom-man, brings me coffee and breakfast in bed. Yes, he does! He massages my back every night before bed. He helps with housework, runs errands, fills my car…. Name it. His actions make me feel very powerful, and very submissive.


Bottom line is that the proclaimed feminists submit themselves STILL in everyday life.. Whether it be in their jobs, paying bills, obeying laws…. Submission is not confined to physical interaction in the vanilla world. Punishment is meeted out in different ways… Being fired, paying fines, going to jail. In the DS household, the couple determines that, in lieu of yelling or the silent treatment, the top takes authority and has her pay the price, via her backside. Much quicker, yes? and those of us involved in true DS marriages, there is never any fighting, name calling or otherwise destructive behaviors. It is based on respect and honor, something many feminists have forgotten in the process of trying to ‘rule’ the world.

Dont get me wrong… As you know, I am highly educated, independent and have a world experience that most women dont. I have served in the USMC armed forces,, work as a nurse and professional counselor, and have a strong, healthy relationship with my husband, who I have the deepest and utmost respect for.. As both a human being, and my mate. He is brilliant, caring, compassionate, and spoils the hell out of me. Now, tell me, what woman could refuse that?

Those who call themselves feminists have sadly forgotten the one word.. Feminine. There is nothing wrong with being feminine. That is how we were designed. It does not mean we are weak. Quite the contrary. The lioness does all the hunting, and God help anyone who enters the lair of a honey badger mama! No, we are strong, intelligent, independent, and assertive women who bust our asses in a world largely dominated by men who, equally sad, see us as below them. Doms, the men in DS relationship, are different, we are their equals, their partners.. To be cherished, protected in their own male dominant way, and cared for. Our femininity merely allows them to do what comes naturally to their own design. They become lions. You don’t see the lionesses complain when her neck gets nipped by her lion, do you? Feline D&S!

So spanking… Beside the obvious sexual component involved, the psychological and physical aspects play a tremendous role.

Let us address stress. Todays feminist still has to work twice as hard to be considered half as good as her male counterparts. Because of this, she comes home stressed, uptight, and often angry. In the vanilla household, she throws tantrums, drinks, gets nasty….among some ways she expresses her emotional stress. Even healthy stress management, like exercise, often fails to provide an emotional escape. This is where the DS relationship differs. He talks to her, yes.. But reminds her there are consequences to ill behavior. The spanking is invited, the feeling of his control over her body and emotions allows her, for that moment, to relinquish the pain of her day. Tears provide both an emotional and chemical release of the stress, the feeling of being dominated but someone she loves and trusts… Knowing he desires what is best for HER… Provides a sense of comfort and belonging. Every smack that lands upon her bottom is a declaration that he believes in her.. He belongs to her… He will fight for her….

What woman would not want that, either?

I can just speak through my own personal experience that living in a vanilla relationship does not work for me. Been there, done that, have divorce papers to prove it. I am too strong of a women to have a mate who cannot understand my need for safe release without mockery, which is what so many of these poor women fear. I love being a woman. I love my strengths and I love that John sees, and encourages, them. I also love that he honors me enough to make certain I stay focused on my own personal path, and that he will not allow me to disappoint myself by straying from it. He disciplines me to keep me focused on what is good and right in our relationship and my own personal growth. He is strong were I am weakest, and is secure in himself to allow me to be strong for him as well.

One more time… What woman would not want this?


As you see, I am pretty good at giving lectures (move over James Johnson, my dear publisher, editor and friend!)  One day I hope to be invited to conferences to do this face to face!!! Oh, and all of you might be excited to learn that John and I have started on our book…

D&S.. Top to Bottom

It is a full training manual for people interested in the lifestyle and will include every aspect we can think of!






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Do I DARE? YES!!!…….and A CONTEST!!!



Dare to Defy is DONE!! I sent it to the publisher last night. Oh man, put on your seat belts and grab hold, because this one will take you to a place you haven’t been with me yet! I can’t even begin to tell you all the yummy, naughty things hidden in this book. I have to say, though, it is probably the hottest one I have written so far!!! Even I had to take several breaks to cool off a bit. Poor SJ!!


Just a word of warning…. If you are the type who feels sorry for the villain and does not like the delivery of justice, don’t read this book! The villain is pure evil, and there are several violent and somewhat graphic scenes that will cause the readers to sit on the edge of their seat and wait for the final reckoning.


If you don’t like sex or spanking, well….. What can I say? LOL!!


Dare to Defy is pure fantasy, set in a time and place of old where hope was the source of magic and dragons were a source of hope…



Daynel, the princess of the northern kingdom, is informed that she is to marry Ethan, the prince of the south. When his cruel and evil nature is discovered, Daynel flees under the guidance of her brother, the crown prince and his wife, the High Priestess. They encourage her to have faith and trust that the gods will come to her aide, but Daynel believes only in herself and her sword. If it is not seen, it does not exist….

But what begins to happen in her dreams is very real… The sensations as a massive dragon warrior devours her body with lusty need… The depth of the bond they form while making love in the heavens… And the submission she offers while positioned under his mighty hand for discipline that leaves her both sobbing and aching for his touch…

She awakens each time and begins to long for him in the real world. Does he truly exist? Is he the one who is summoning her to join his battle against the Darkness?

When Ethan’s evil begins to claim the hearts of her subjects, Daynel turns to her last hope. Her dragon priest. He comes to her and claims her as his mate. His demands upon her body are great, yet she dares defy every instruction given, much to her bottom’s grief. But he is relentless as he urges her to reach for her power as the future High Priestess… Power that can only be captured through pain and absolute submission. Power that will set both her, and his, people free.


How she could feel every inch of the long, lean body of a darkly tanned man that pressed against the alabaster paleness of her own, the light and darkness blending into one as their limbs meshed together in sexual fervor. The man engulfed her mouth, tasting her as his rough hand slid boldly up the length of her thigh, hip and to the side of her breast. His fingers brushed over the pink nipple and the tiny nub jumped to attention as though startled awake following a long slumber. Her neck arched, inviting his lips to the delicate flesh of her throat. His long fingers grazed the tender skin, preparing it for his caress. A soft moan whispered from her throat as his mouth sucked her skin gently, slowing turning her body until his teeth sunk gently into the base of her neck. 

She arched her back like a cat, offering herself to a deeper bite and a claim of ownership.  Between her thighs, her wetness built and the scent of desire permeated the air. The man growled as he ran his long fingers along her moist slit and he plunged his tongue between her teeth, drinking her as before. He then suddenly pulled away, staring into her face from arms distance as he held her upper arms in his his grasp. Deep, violet eyes flashed with anger and Daynel released a loud plea through silent lips. Her body was effortlessly lifted and placed across solid thighs as big as tree trunks, and she felt her exposed posterior being hoisted up by the knee beneath her pelvis… Her body froze with anticipation as the mountainous man lifted his right palm high before descending into a vibrating clap as it flattened onto the snow-white peaks of her hindquarters. She lifted her head to cry out protest and a second slap was released, blanching the sweet underside of the gentle curve of her right cheek. The man’s lips moved as he again discharged a third, fourth and fifth iron-palmed swat upon the unprotected softness of her bottom. He appeared to be scolding her, but his words were unheard. 

Daynel held her breath, her chest tightening as she continued to struggle against him. His massive arms readjusted her across his lap, and pushed her head closer to the floor. His fingers probed the copious juices flowing from her body and slipped inside her. A smile broadened his face as her virgin muscles clutched hungrily to his thick digit, and he pressed deeper within her. Daynel lifted her bottom higher to allow his hand access to female treasures, and mewed as the tip of a finger began to circle lazily upon the tiny head of her swollen nub. 


And now for the contest! OK, so you don’t really need to do anything special to enter this contest. Just leave a comment. In comment, answer these questions:

1. What do you think of this new story?

2. What is your favorite Breanna Hayse book?

3. A shout out if you love Nikki. Woot woot!


If you have a blog or facebook page and share this post on there, email Nikki for an extra entry. So one comment on blog and an extra entry for reposting on FB or Twitter, etc. We will randomly draw a winner and that lucky person will receive Dare To Defy (ebook) in whatever platform you want. If you do not want Dare, we are happy to substitute with any other Breanna Hayse book.


Safe Words of Wisdom From SJ



OK lovelies, here is something that (if it hasn’t already)  may come up. Most sites will tell you  to always have a safe word. While I get that its hardly that simple,  lets imagine a scenario.  You  have been talking to a prospective Dom. You like each other and  you have talked for about 2 weeks and feel pretty good about him You have mentioned,  or if he is a true dom he has brought up, your need for atonement and accountability. You agree. However, heres the deal ..If you are meeting for true punishment, for true misbehaviors, a safe word really takes it out of reality, and more into role play. How can you feel truly punished, if you can stop your spanking whenever you want?

Ok I hear you.  But Sir, he’s a stranger.  If i don’t have some control, what if he goes overboard? Good point. And one you have to weigh with how much you feel you can trust this guy  and how guilty you feel for your behavior. I did alot of in-person sessions before I met Bree, and I told all of them, if this is real accountability then no safe word.  Most understood. Some said no, and I respected that.You see, alot of women came to me complaining that the guy that spanked them stopped way too soon. They did not feel truly punished, so they left frustrated, and even more guilty.

Now lets take a role play scenario, or a sub space session.  This is totally different. In role play, you are pretending to misbehave, so a safe word works as its not reality.  In a sub space session, its all about you. So you can have safe words, and even verbalize what you want.

So bottom (yes pun intended)  line, its up to you. If you do not really trust the guy, you have no buiness being with him any way. Just be safe. And make sure you know what you really want.

Be good or else!


Saturday Spankings…


Saturday Spankings


This week we once again visit Painful Addiction. Still with the editor. Hopefully it will be ready for publication soon. Until then, enjoy! And when your finished, take a trip over to the sat spanks blog spot to check out the other authors excerpts. There are some hot ones this week!


Painful Addiction

“I would never grow bored of you. You are too spicy,” Reed smiled, kissing the inside of her wrist. “Lay back down.”

“Huh?” Brittany questioned as he gently pushed her to her back, watching her squirm as her tender bottom rubbed against the sheets. “I need to get you some Egyptian cotton 1800 TC if I ever have to lay in this bed with a sore bottom again.”

“I suspect that will happen on numerous occasions, so you might think about looking on eBay or something. Now hush. I just want to take a look at you from a different angle.”

Brittany flushed again as he peeled the sheets from her body and forced her heels up to touch the backs of her thighs, spreading her knees wide before him. She hid her face with her hands.

“Never hide from me, remember? Hold the headboard and do not let go, or you will return to the position across my knee,” Reed said firmly, positioning himself between her thighs and gently sliding his hands under the hot, swollen globes. His thumbs gently parted her pink lips, unfolding the flower that was quickly glazing over with sweet dew. He used his thumbs to stroke her folds, still not touching the protruding button that grew slowly before his eyes. He inhaled and then blew warm air against it, pleased to see her jump in response. Slowly, he brought his mouth closer to her, his tongue barely touching her …

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