Dare To Defy….And Help Save Me From Crazy Cleaning Lady!

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Hi peeps, thought I would drop in to say hello and give a little update about whats going on around here.

First of all, Bre has been suffering from “allergies”. I never heard of allergies causing someone to lose their voice and have a raging chest…cold? But what do I know? She says it was allergies, so it was allergies. Luckily for us, she managed to keep writing through it all and OMG her next book. It is the ducking bomb! It is called Dare to Defy and it is so damn hot. All I can say is hold on to your__________. This book is gonna make you need to change your panties a couple times. haha Shhhh! Don’t tell SJ I said that.

The other thing we have been doing is spring cleaning. Can I just say Bree is crazy? I have never seen so much shit being tossed out. Salvation Army, god bless you for coming and taking it all away. Bree is one of those people that gets into something and just goes nuts with it. She is determined that all of the spring cleaning and organizing will be finished prior to our vacation-which starts on Monday! Hmmm….Wish us luck. Lucky for me, I am off to LA with friends for the weekend so I can get out of some of what I lovingly refer to as Hayse Crazy Town. lol

So, thats about all thats happening around here. Hope you all are enjoying your spring and you don’t have a crazy slave driver making you clean.

Love, Nikki

Age Play and a Major Complaint

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Bree was a guest blogger on Joelle Casteel’s blog last week and I wanted to share the article with you. On Joell’s site, she referenced another blog about age play vs daddy doms. Anyway, something on that site really fired Bre up. So read the article Bre wrote then read the part from the other site that got Bree’s panties in a twist. Then you can hop on over to Joelle’s site. Its great and I know you will enjoy looking around and getting to know here better.
Thanks for inviting me over, Joelle! You are talking about one of my favorite topics… Ok here goes!!
My writing career started with The Game Plan [Joelle interrupts to say, I just started this book and I couldn’t put it down. I had to grab my stuffed puppy and go to sleep long after I should have]… But the research started way before. As most of you know, I have an MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Alternative Lifestyles and couples counseling. I pursued those to gain some answers about my own needs and desires and discovered AP in the process.
I wrote an article a while back on my blog about AP, what it was and what it was not. In summary, it is a type of role play in which one, or more, partners takes on the adult/big position of authority, decision making, responsibility while the other, the little, assumes the responsibilities and activities of a certain age group. I must emphasize that AP is NOT about adults having sex with children, child abuse or anything of the sort. It is simply a technique that provides the little a chance to revert back to a time where he/she has less responsibilities and is permitted the freedom to react, rather than respond, to a life situation. Come on now… I am certain several of those people reading this have wished they could, as adults, stomp their feet, stick our their tongues, throw a tantrum or pout…. Without being called a big baby!
I wish I could tell you with absolute certainty that everyone involved in AP has had, or has not had, childhood issues… But that is not the case. AP’ ers come from all walks of life and on many different education levels as do those involved in DS. Although the majority of the ones I have been involved with have had experienced some sort of major childhood trauma, there are also some who were blessed with incredible childhoods and parenting examples. Either way, they have chosen this lifestyle because it works for them and they are thriving because of it.
You specifically asked how the Daddy/little relationship worked and what both parties got out of it…..
I mentioned above that it is a form of role play and that the couple/family (sometimes there are more than two involved) worked. It is a consensual release of control by the little to the authority figure.. Not always a daddy.. The big roles are vast in number, and depend on the involvement the individuals wish to take in the ‘raising’ of the little. The big role can include, but is not limited to, parent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, teacher, cousin, guardian…. Any authority that is ‘older’ and maintains control. The little, likewise, can be a child of any age group and whose role depends on that of the big. The object of the lifestyle is for the little to release him or herself to the control of the big, and for the big to nurture, guide and direct the little, and provide him/her a safe environment to explore the inner child.
Bigs are also responsible for disciplinary action should their littles misbehave, and that can range to whatever means the big feels his/her little requires. Let me emphasize, again, that we are NOT dealing with real children… Merely adults who are taking on child like qualities and behaviors… Therefore, actions such as spankings, punishment enemas, and sex are often used together with time outs, writing lines, and removal of privileges. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it, however, I am sure most Bigs agree that the sexual aspects of the lifestyle are explored when the little is allowed to transform back into a big.
Trust is the ultimate benefit of this relationship. The little is completely exposed and vulnerable when she/he submits to the big, and trusts him/her with the delicate process of guarding not just the body, but the heart, mind and soul. The big has a huge responsibility in this lifestyle… Just like a real parent.
The AP lifestyle also provides opportunity for healing from past hurts… And any new players should be completely away [I wonder if Breebree meant “aware”] of possible emotional, mental or physical triggers prior to entering this arena. I do recommended that, in the beginning, a cue or safe word be decided on which would allow one, or the other, to pause and discuss an issue or discomfort as it arises. Secrets are not an option in this role… Too many things come to surface and the individuals must be patient and willing to address them.
On a personal note… I was introduced to AP and AB (adult baby… Infantilism) several years ago while researching my thesis. Coming from a background of abuse, I wanted to learn about the depth of my daddy issues and seek some answers. John and I live 24/7 in DS, but our AP is more restricted to special days or times when I am feeling particularly vulnerable or overwrought. We are also expanding our lifestyle knowledge with the help of my Uncle K and his little girl, Lp. I find it very difficult to release all control to Daddy, and I know Daddy finds it challenging to constantly be on the lookout for me. I cannot help but admire those people, like Uncle K and Lp, who live the lifestyle 24/7. The amount of trust and love that goes into it, along with the physical, mental and emotional aspects, is mind blowing!
I hope this helps answer some questions and perhaps, bring new ones to surface. I have to go now.. It is time for my nap and Daddy promised we would watch Little Mermaid and eat ice cream if I went to sleep without complaining.
Toodles!
Luvs, Breebree
OK so Joelle referenced, as I said another blog with some slightly different perspectives. Thats ok. I mean, everyone feels or lives this lifestyle with their own twists. But Bre was upset by this passage:
Sex in a Daddy/little relationship is not done like that of role players where the sexual attraction stems from deep seeded interest in incest or pedophilia. Sex between a Daddy and his little is just like sex between any people in a relationship.It is SO wrong with absolutely no psychological or substantial basis whatsoever. In fact, this statement would put millions of good people.. Parents, teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc. on the sex offenders list. I know several people in the lifestyle who prosecute sex offenders and go above and beyond their means to protect children. To a reasonable and prudent person, the terms little, AB and AP are synonymous, and I challenge anyone to prove differently.  In essence, she accused those who don’t engage in the lifestyle full time to be perverts.

If this statement disturbs you, please go to the site and educate this woman!!!
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A DAY IN THE LIFE…..

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HI PEEPS! It’s me, crawling out from under a rock. The seasonal allergies got me good this time and, much to little sister’s delight, my voice and ability to scold her was stripped from me. I sound like Minni Mouse sucking helium.

 

There has been a thread of discussion I have been noticing in the sub-ways and I think its a good time to clarify some things for everyone. Life as a sub… That is, living this lifestyle 24/7…. Is not a constant state of being spanked, punished and humiliated. In fact, it might disappoint some of you, it is pretty normal.. Almost vanilla.. With some exceptions.

 

John spoils the hell out of me. He truly does. He makes me breakfast in bed every morning, bring me tea and coffee when I am writing, brushes my hair, rubs my back and bottom…. He cares for me so lovingly that I want to please him back. And, rest assured, I thank him profusely for every little tiny thing he does. Subs, if you want to flourish in your life with your Dom, YOU must show him/her that YOU appreciate every little effort they make. Not every Dom is like John, nor is it fair to compare them. In fact, to do so can be downright cruel and may just be setting the poor old thing up for failure.  Just like not every subby is like me… Each of us is unique with our own strengths and weaknesses. Each marriage relationship has its own dynamics and it is our responsibility to discover the things needed to make that particular relationship grow and blossom.

There is a huge difference between being a submissive and being a slave. Again, it is not the amount of time being restrained and spanked, it is about the service of the heart. A submissive shares her/his life with the Dom… Both giving to one another, appreciating each other, learning to live in respectful boundaries as they go about day to day activities. The discipline, when called for, is consensual, accepted and understood, and they learn ways of letting the past go once the payment is made.

A slave, however, serves his/her master/mistress. It is all about the Dom. There is a strong emphasis on micromanagement (which I personally rebel against) and nothing matters except for the Dom’s needs and desires. Even if he/she choses to ignore the slave, it is the prerogative of the master/mistress…. And not for the slave to complain. For any of you believing you are slave material, pause for a moment and look at your life. How many times do you use the word ‘I’ or ‘me’ in your vocabulary?  John has collared me as both submissive and slave… But he reserves slave days for the times when my behavior requires significant readjusting… I.e. when I become too much the DIVA and forget myself. The day is spent naked, on my knees, and performing chores that I loathe. Honestly, a true slave would be thrilled to death in that position. Not me! but it does serve to remind me of what a wonderful Dom I have, and makes me understand the need to express my appreciation to him for everything.

I hope this clarifies some things for you guys/gals. Please, embrace your relationship and draw the lines between fantasy and reality. Life is too short and too precious to waste! And, if you are seriously in need of a constant spanking, consider investing in a Robospanker!!! We have one and, trust me, it is not used as often as one would think!!!!

Luvs,

Bree

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Guess Where We are???

 

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Talk about exciting! Today we went on a little road trip over to Natasha Knights blog. Had a fun chat with her so if you wanna find out what we talked about, you will just have to visit us over at Natasha Knights blog. Go on, click her name. You know you wanna do it. 🙂

 

Loves from Bree!

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