I will explain my paraphrasing Martin Sheen from the epic Apocalypse Now…well, now.
Bree and my anniversary is the 29th, but Bree worked today. So I gave her her present the day before. It was a surprise, well it was supposed to be, Mensa head figured it out pretty quickly. Bree loves whales so I thought; taking her whale watching would be romantic and groovy. The sun on our faces, the sea breeze, flowing along on the deep blue glassy Pacific Ocean. Sounds cool, yes?
Let me quote a well-known saying that now has special meaning to me “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” On the way we hit a Jack in the Box, just so we had something in our stomachs, as it’s a three hour boat ride. We ordered and took off for our romantic adventure.
About halfway Bree was looking a little green, “John, you have to pull over and get me Gavicon and 7 up. I’m going to hurl!” Uh oh, not a good start. I found a pharmacy, got Bree’s stuff and we were on our way, though I questioned the wisdom of her going on a boat. That, kind of turned out to be true.
We arrive, get our tickets, and the guide comes out and says “Hello everyone, due to storms our ride will be very rough so, if you have it, take your Dramamine.”
Oh poor Bree, yeah right.
We take off, it’s one of those stunningly gorgeous days that make Midwesterners pack up and move to California. All is well, were on the rail looking for whales although the swells were rough at 5 to 10 feet. I’m watching Bree close, you know, Dom taking care of his sub kind of thing.
We sit down and I’m thinking, man these are big waves, and they were, some hitting 30feet! Big dips up and down, up and…Uh oh. I barely made it to the rail, depositing all of my sausage combo quickly. I can truthfully say, the last time I was this sick I was on the road and some insecticide got in my protein drink (don’t ask). Bree was right there talking me through some marine exercises about watching the horizon and bending my knees. In fact she was supporting my legs as they decided they would not be working for a while. It was so bad a deckhand came and told me I would feel better in the back of the boat. I took my walk of shame as all the children clung to their mommies like I was Frankenstein and they were villagers.
Once I was exiled, I felt better as there was a whole group feeding the fishes, as I had. Then something happened that was truly divine intervention. A nice lady, gave Bree something and said it would help. It was two wrist bands! Huh? Thanks lady but I’m dying, I’m not interested in accessories right now.
Bree put them on me and I swear, the lady must have bought them at Hogwarts, I mean this was some serious Harry Potter mojo. About 10 minutes later I was at least 50 percent better. Bree found a bench for me to lie down, and she stood up all the way back pushing into me so I did not feel the rocking as much. She was a combination wonder woman, merry marine, and Florence Nightingale. If she had not have been there, I would probably have slept with the fishes literally. This brings me to the Martin Sheen quote. Never get on the boat! Oh yeah,
Be good, or else…