This was a topic suggested to me by a wise subbie, and since we have all seen what can happen at parties lately I want to address this. So lovelies, here’s the 411 on negotiating a scene.
First, you need to know what you want. Some of you may want full bare bottom spanks. Some want your panties up. Some may like leather…OK all of you like leather, lol. Some may want to be scolded while being spanked etc. Whatever it is, you need to know, before you go to a party. Now let me be clear, the reason a safe party environment is good for subbies to attend is, ironically why i do not go to parties. And that reason is, all together now, the subbies are in control. Hey, not everyone said it, did you not know this? Let me enlighten you.
A party is a place for you to act on your fantasies. It is not a real D/s session. In a real D/s session you are not in control, but a party session you are in total control. Now what does that mean? Simply that, before you enter into a session, you tell the Dom or top, what you will, and will not do. What implements you like or do not. Panties up or down, also any physical problems you may have, shoulders, back, knees, etc. that may be a problem in position. You have a safe word , you can slow things down, have it be harder spanks or softer, take a break etc. So I hear the wheels turning, and you may be thinking well gee SJ, what does that have to do with submitting to a Dom? Well, nothing. That’s my point.
Parties are play scenarios not punishment ones, so know that going in. Here’s how it works. Somebody will host a scene in his or her suite. This is usually a big room with many people attending. Some couples, some singles. The spankings are done there in front of everyone…so you closet exhibitionist can have fun lol and always panties or thong up, always…Now there are private rooms off the main one. These may have more intense scenes but still nothing like a real D/s punishment session. It is ok to use those rooms since they are right there a tons of people walk in and out. But never go to a private, one on one in a small room where nobody knows you or where you are, unless you know the top or Dom. This could be bad, really bad.
There is security at some parties, and at some not any, so be careful. If any of your limitations are violated…any…go right to the host. He or she should handle things immediately and eject the violator. If you do go to the host, and nothing is done pack up. Consider you had an experience and go home, you are not in a safe environment and that’s the most important thing for you. Most parties are fine and safe, so don’t let me scare you away. But you need to check out who is giving them and their track record.
So do you all get it? If you do your homework and know what you want, you can go and have an enjoyable experience. Be respectful, but speak up. If you do not tell the top no hairbrush, and he smacks you with one, you cannot start whining and making a scene. Take care of yourself, and speak up. This is your chance to explore some fantasies. Above all be safe.
Be good or else!