This week we decided to do something a little different. We invited some subbies from around the blog, to tell us what submission means to them. I am sure some of what they say may resonate with you. So enjoy! I already posted what submission means to me, and you can find it here.
I think it means trusting another person enough to let him/her guide you. I think it means consensually giving up privileges in exchange for care. I think it must be based on reciprocity – you give something of yourself and you get something in return. I think it´s not something someone can demand by force. It´s a gift. And the dominant part should be aware that it´s a gift that has to be earned. Like the sub part should be aware that it`s a gift to find a person who is worthy of that trust.
When I was first asked to write about my feelings on submission and what it meant to me, I was a little apprehensive. The answers are tricky and there is no nice little box they fit into. I personally like boxes. I enjoy the safety and security within them. Recently and very slowly I have learned that you can also find that same safety and security on the outside of the box. It is not easy to embrace this and goodness knows I fight it pretty often. Whether I fight it because of fear the unfamiliar or lack of knowledge and understanding, well who really knows. One day it may come to me but so far I got nada for that answer.
Personally submission is an extremely deep seeded feeling, an intuition; if you will. To be quite honest, it is something I do not fully understand yet. What I can say is that it just is……….It seems as natural a part of who I am as the fact that my eyes are brown and my hair is curly. Submission seems to have its very own link in my DNA chain.
When I embrace it and don’t fight it and all works well my submission is release from everyday tension; it is structure, safety and security like I have never experienced. It is the knowledge that I have someone who understands me, doesn’t judge me and very genuinely looks out for me and cares for me. It is trusting that someone can provide me with focus and accountability I often lack in my life. So why fight it? I’ve got theories but no real answer for that.
I have never considered that submission was just about spanking, pain or bowing down and kissing boots. I do like the release of pent up emotions a good spanking provides, like all your troubles float away. It lets you know you can feel something other than sadness, anger and frustration. For the record I do not like pain! The thought of pain does not turn me on. I will however admit that a little pain for the sake of pleasure does have an appeal.
Since submission is fairly new to me there is an entire world out there that is exciting ready for me to explore. However, I have no idea where I fit in at the moment. I call it Subbie Limbo!!!! That’s where I live most of the time, somewhere between the needs and the wants. I believe guidance and consistency in that guidance are key factors and can help with not feeling so lost. I think at some point I will be able to find where I fit in and where I need to be. Deep down inside that’s really all I want.
Submission to me, is having the kind of trust in another person where you can be comfortable giving up control to them and knowing they will take care of you in all things, whether emotional, or physical. I would want to do anything to please them since making the person happy would be my reward. Having the kind of person who cares for you that way would be freeing, since giving that person control is the ultimate surrender.
To me submission is a gift for a honorary person who in turn will treat me with the outmost care, but still push every button I have. Respect and honesty in the forefront in this relationship whether it be between a dom and sub or, lovers.
What Submission Means To MeTo submit to someone shows complete trust in that person. Submission means obeying your Dom and doing as he says and being punished when we do not obey.The Dom cares for his Sub and protects her and holds her accountable.Being submissive means being with someone who is “in charge” and I do as he says – most times anyway. When I submit to someone I give my heart and soul to that person and try to please him in all ways and do everything he expects of me and when I do not I am disciplined. I also believe a Dom cares for his Sub above all else and takes care of and protects his Sub. He always has the best interest of the Sub in mind and does not make rules to be mean (even if she does not agree with all his decisions).Being submissive means you do as you are told and most times you are fine with it – unless the Dom tries to push you a little beyond your comfort. I do believe in doing as I am told and pleasing my Dom and I think it is very important to make my Dom happy and proud of me.When you submit to your Dom you accept any punishment he says and accept the punishment without question.
It seems I’m just beginning to know my submissive side. I’ve always been attracted to dominant men, but that had very little to do with being submissive. That was just the fun of having my boyfriend make me do something that I probably wanted to do anyway. With SJ I truly want to submit to him and make him proud of me and to know I have made him happy just by minding him.He may not know this, because looking at my punishment book and the notebook I write my lines in, even I have to wonder if I ever behave! I love the feeling of being cared for and about. I don’t know if all trainers have such big hearts, but knowing how many of us he’s taking the time to train and making (I assume) all of us feel special is amazing. Someday I hope to find my HEA with a dom of my own. If I do, it will be mainly because SJ has brought out my submissiveness through hin training. I hope to be as giving as a submissive as SJ is as a dom.