How To Spot A Dom


Hello my lovelies,…are we all behaving?  No- that was rhetorical.  lol OK a lot of you have been asking me, sir  how do I spot a Dom?  At a party or club etc? Well sorry to tell you ladies, we do not wear a big ‘D’ on our chests, or carry a crop in our back pocket.

So how do you spot a Dom? Let me illustrate something for you. I watch movies. A lot of movies. And occasionally they get it right- as far as  depicting a true Dom/sub interaction. I am thinking about one movie in particular that really nailed it. You may be surprised at what I am about to say, but as always, hang in there and all will be revealed. The interaction between Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster in…Drum roll please………….Silence Of The Lambs!!  OK, just calm down and hear me out. I mean sure he was a psycho and killed and ate his victims, but nobody’s perfect right?

Ok seriously, here is the deal. From the first time Clarice lays eyes on Hannibal,  if you watch carefully, he already has her. She is mesmerized. Even knowing he is a dangerous killer, she still cannot deny his vibe, his power, and control. He does not have to raise his voice, move around etc..He is totally calm and in control. She is an intelligent woman and she is reduced to a shivering mass. She may not know why yet, but  she cannot take her eyes off him, and she is immediately compliant.

Now  Anthony Hopkins is a genius actor, but he does not look like Brad Pitt (or whoever you find hot these days).  Looks have nothing to do with the true Dom vibe. If a Dom is good looking, its a plus, but not a necessity. So what does this have to do with spotting a Dom? If you see someone or someone says hello to you, if he is a Dom you will feel like Clarice staring,  mesmerized, and powerless. You may think I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am not.

Now there is another way you can test if a guy is a Dom, or at least trying… Be a brat. When he calls you on it,  say something like “well what are you going to do about it, spank me?”  The answer will leave no doubt but thats not nearly as exciting as a Dom just looking at you, and you melting.  You need to see a Doms eyes. If you re watching Silence again, (and if you are discovering your sub side, you should) look at Hannibals eyes and how he draws Clarice in without even trying.

So  it starts with the eyes.If you do not feel that weak in the knees, fluttering heart, shortness of breath…Keep looking.

As always be good or else!


31 thoughts on “How To Spot A Dom

  1. a question for all my lovelies. If you got in trouble with your boss or an authority figure( yeah i know that could never happen right?) anyway, if he offered you the usual penalty, fine , ticket, etc or a bb spanking which would you choose? i mean its not like any of you have fantasied about this right?

  2. SJ, sure it’s ok for a dom to be a psycho and kill and eat people, but I bet if a sub put that in her Sunday Report there would be repercussions.

  3. No comments on the image I chose for this post? I thought it was particularly awesome since it was labeled Sir Anthony Hopkins. I know, I know he has a token knighthood or something. Whatever. lol

  4. So that school superintendent is a dom. I seriously try to avoid him because I’m totally tongue tied every time I see him. He’s always been pleasant, but I feel like I’m on the verge of getting in trouble.

  5. That movie creeps the bejeusus out of me but you can see it, for sure. I’m particularly amused you used this example because when I went to meet Daddy my sister was my “check-in” person who ever so lovingly said she was just making sure I “didn’t get killed Silence of the Lambs style.”

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