FANTASY… How far is too far?

 

lala-land

Hey Peeps!

Bree here, coming up for air! Mr. Meanie #2 (AKA James Johnson, publisher, editor and all around bossy man) is making me edit. I hate editing, i know I have mentioned that fact once or twice…..

 

Soooo, get this. I have had several emails lately complaining that their Doms fell short to the ones in my books, and how to make them more like (insert character name). They also began to compare themselves to certain characters and wondered how to be more like them. I was like, huh? John then pointed out to me that there are people who take what contemporary authors write almost literally, and believe the fiction to be true.. Or pretty close to it. Before you scoff, please hear me out…

 

I am sure there are authors, as well as readers, who have ‘invisible friends.’ Hell, get on some of the blogs  and it is right there in front of us in black and white. Some are even using their character influences to give advice and ‘talk through’ the characters as though he/she were a real entity. I am both concerned, personally and professionally, by this as it extends beyond role play. The reason I bring this up is because from a psychological perspective, living in the pretend character can really….Pardon the expression.. Fuck with your mind. For some people, this vicarious lifestyle can become a serious illness and they become obsessed with what they want to be verses loving who they are.

 

Do any of you remember what happened back when Dungeons and Dragons came out? People became so emerged in their fictional character that they forgot how to live in the real world.  Erotica characters are no different. Moreso, because significant safety issues can come into play when someone convinces themselves to have more skill or tolerance than they truly do.

 

Have any if you ever seen the movie Nim’s Island?  Jody Foster played an author under a pseudonym who gave her all the strength and power in her fantasies. All the while she never left the house and was a total agoraphobic. By living vicariously through this character, she never had to deal with life appropriately… Ever hiding and avoiding real contact with real people. The little girl, (Nim) believed the writer of these novels to not only be a man, but also that he had the ability to do all the things in the books themselves, and summoned ‘him’ to help her while her father was lost at sea. Needless to say, when the truth was discovered, the kid was crushed. Okay, NOT the healthiest of lifestyles, right? I mean, none of us should ever put  that type of faith in an article of fiction… But sadly many, writers and readers alike, do just that.There was a happy ending… Jody was forced to discover her own, individual strengths and who she really was. She also discovered that she liked herself, and put her alter ego to rest. That says it all, right?

 

My opinion… Which I have many… Is that those if us who write about life-like characters and situations based on our own, personal fantasy, need to keep our own eyes focused on the reality of this world just as much as our readers. If we connect with an erotic character, lets say Samantha (Generals’ Daughter), her persona needs to stay appropriate and respectful of the world, the real world, around her. I firmly believe that we are responsible to provide examples of safety, healthy intimacy and appropriate consequences to our audience. We should also continue to emphasize that our work is FICTION, and for people not to use it as a reality based guide of living.  Even Guardian Domination, which was based on my life and training with SJ, had multiple fictional aspects. FYI, I love the comments about the discipline being unrealistic. Unfortunately, that was the only thing that really WAS realistic! LOL!!

 

There is a fine line, my friends, between fantasy and reality. YOU are reality. Who you are, how you live and effect others is reality. Learn to love the real you… You are your own special, unique character and don’t have to adopt the characteristic of a fictional person to be loved, accepted and wanted. And if you don’t believe me, ask Sir John!!!

 

Luvs,

Bree

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5 thoughts on “FANTASY… How far is too far?

  1. LOVED this post, as much as I loved most of your Pearls of Wisdom. Thank you for Sharing. I especially love the Nim’s Island comparison. I like object lessons- stick with my feather brain a little better.

  2. I agree totally. I had thought about doing a post on my blog about this once. I had a discussion with some other DD friends about this, when I found myself getting frustrated with my brand new HOH, who just could NOT lead like the HOH’s in some of the stories I read. This was hurtful to him and our relationship. So I have had to remind myself to consciously NOT compare my real husband to the fictitious HOH’s.
    Great insight!

  3. Great post as usual. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the characters and I love immersing(sp?) myself in a book just as much as the next person, but real life should never come second to a book.

    However, if someone were to write my life as a book, I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to write it!!

  4. I agree, reading about fictional characters is fun and can be a time out from reality but crossing over into real life should never mix. Besides real life is exciting enough and way too short not to live it fully and not vicariously through fictional characters and I’ve met some of the dungeons and dragons people, although now I think they’re called farmvillers….or something like that!

  5. Bree, enjoyed your blog, as usual. I remember when I started reading romantic novels as a teen-ager and actually thought I would have a boyfriend who was so romantic, thoughtful, sexy and dominant all at the same time. Tall order for an 18 year old. It didn’t take long for reality to set in and discover that real live is much better than words on a page.
    With any luck we take the best characteristics of a heroine or hero and see if any of their behaviors fit with who we are or want to be. Books can open our minds to the possibilities that are in the real world and hopefully help to make us a better person and maybe try a few things we wouldn’t have come up with on our own.
    SJ may think I live in a fantasy world where I am better behaved than he thinks I am. But we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that.

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