D/s Communication


Ok all my lovelies this is important. So sit up straight, eyes focused and read.

Communication is necessary in all aspects of life, especially in a relationship. It is, however, vital in a D/s relationship.

Online relationships are tricky. I cannot count how many times I have told a subbie something in an email or chat, only to have it misunderstood and throw her in to a subbie tail spin.

You must tell your Dom what is going on with you. For example, you are scheduled for a session but you have a headache. Do not go ahead and pretend you are feeling well. It’s unfair to you and your Dom. I would never spank a subbie who did not feel well. And no, being nauseous looking at the gauntlet does not count. For those of you who do not know the gauntlet is over 140 implements used one right after the other, but I digress.

You must also tell your Dom any emotional thing that is going on as well. This can save you drama and a sore bottom. Some subs think it’s not ok to voice your opinion. This is not true, you can voice your opinion but must do so properly. Knowing what you are going through and how you are feeling is essential to a Dom reading you correctly and determining what you need. Now, there is a fine line between being candid and whining. Don’t say I did not warn you. Being honest with your Dom, no matter the consequences, is the best way, trust me.

Just as all of you must communicate, so must your Dom. I still work on this as I hate to hurt a subbies feelings by my chat or email being misunderstood. It’s a two way street, a Dom cannot expect you to be open with him if he is not open with you.

So just remember, do not shut down…talk about it, whatever it is. It may not save you from a spanking but it can’t hurt…the communication, not the spanking, lol.

I do hope you all are experiencing D/s on some level. 0r maybe are planning to soon. Either way, communication is key in finding a Dom and sustaining a relationship.

Be good, or else…


6 thoughts on “D/s Communication

    • I know it’s not, Sir John, I’m not blaming you at all. No one is to blame but me, and the lack of even the slightest authority/source of comfort in my life.

  1. I’m not in any relationship right now. University is proving to be nice, but emotionally I’m not okay. I just want to cry all the time (and we all have our own little apartment, so I do cry a lot on my own…). I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the social pressure, all my issues showing themselves just as I’ve moved out of my parents’ house… My mum calls me a lot and I rarely call her. It’s hard to hear her voice and not being able to hug her. Then again I LOVE being away from my parents’ view, doing my own thing, partying etc… It’s all very confusing because I love it but I still feel sad… I can’t really talk to my friends because I’ve only known them for 9 weeks, and I don’t have a partner to tell how I feel. I used to love reading this blog, but lately it’s made me cry because I know something is missing in my life… I know none of this will make any sense. I hope I’ll be okay soon.

    • Laura,

      *Hugs* It’s always hard after a move or major change. That was always the hardest part of being a military brat. Sending you comfort and positive energy your way. It gets easier with time although it might not seem like it right now. Something that always helped me was getting involved in local groups. Might try searching for people interested in the same things you are and meeting up at a local hangout or something. Just make sure to keep your safety in mind if you do.

      Best Wishes,

      • Hi Miss Bekah,

        Thank you so much for you advice… I’m doing a bit better now, my mum visits me when I need her, because she knows I don’t enjoy going ‘home’ much… You have no idea how much I appreciate your message. Thank you so so so very much.

        Internet hugs to you,


        • Laura,

          I’m glad you are doing better. BTW you can just call me Bekah…”Miss” makes me feel old. Maybe in another 20 years I’ll be ok with that, lol. Big maybe on that one though. :p


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