Dom’s have feelings too…

 

The_Thinker_Rodin-2

Hello  lovelies.  Trust me, this blog is not what you think. In fact I  really want your input. I have a feeling you will not be supportive, which is ok, just be honest.

First off, Bree andI have been together 9 years. I have never met a more responsive submissive in my life, or such a beautiful person, inside and out. She is my treasure and my life.  In the 9 yrs we have been together  I have had to discipline her to severity maybe 5 times. She is an exemplary submissive. Now her post today was not a serious offense, but she disobeyed me for the same thing twice, in one hour!  Very unusual, which is why her bb got paddled beet red the second time. But this is more a brat offense; nothing serious. Our bond as Dom and sub goes much much deeper than any vanilla relationship ever could. I would literally give my life for her in a second. No exaggeration.

So probably you are all, oh so sweet oh he loves her so much. True but we are turning a corner now and I may lose you. Lately Bree has expressed a desire to attend a spanking party. Those are not my thing, but I figured she might get ideas for a new book, which is what I figured she wanted to go for, and it is. But also, she wants to maybe indulge in a spanking from another top. This cuts me pretty deep. Yeah I hear you, oh boo-hoo, big bad Dom get over it. We all have fantasies, yes. But we do not all act on them, especially in a solid relationship. And it hurts, a lot. And if I do say so myself, her D/s relationship with me is pretty good. Not to mention the husband wife thing…Anyway I digress…

So I am working on letting that go. Frankly, it will take a very long time. I told her I would take her,  and she could even dress to show off her beautiful bb, and I might even spank her. But the thought of another male touching her puts me in a really dark place, one I try not to visit, and one nobody needs to be around. Now I do not mind causing her discomfort I spanked her 5 times yesterday just to see her red bb – and she was yeowing and squirming, But the thought of another male even causing her to say ow, and I can go very dark.

I had an experience with a jerk who actually has a dvd company, who I told could just use his hand on the girl I brought (this was just a date no history at all).  Anyway he took a brush, gave me a look to blow me off. I got up- it got tense. He backed off, and we left..

I am thinking maybe i would consider it if we had a couple we liked, doing a private thing.  But i would be so controlling, and probably as soon as I heard an ow I would stop any spanking from continuing. I am sure the Dom would say,   “John you’re nuts.” And you know what? He would be right ..I own the fact this is irrational, controlling, and not fair to Bree at all and quite selfish. But I am who I am.

Let me illustrate something, and Bree would not in any way do this I know. If she let another man spank her, behind my back, to me thats the same as having an affair in the vanilla world. Yes to me it is that serious. Some Doms do not care who spanks their subs. Fine, I am not judging  (Bree likes to watch me top another woman- go figure. But then again, I am giving pain, not getting it). But like I said, she is my treasure, and a Doms first promise to a sub is to protect her always. Is  this over the top? Yes probably. Hey it’s just a spanking right? Not to a Dom with the bond I have with Bree it isn’t. It’s much much deeper than that.   But what can I say? I am a Dom enigma.

So lovelies, if any of you are still with me, how would you react if you were Bree?  Just be honest, I do not get angry at Bree and we have never yelled at each other in 9 years, I swear on the Doms oath.

I have to admit this was kind of cathartic for me   so if you read it whatever your opinion thank you.

SJ

14 thoughts on “Dom’s have feelings too…

  1. Wow! Lots of emotions from you both! I think Bree really trusts you to protect her if she is reaching for more experiences to widen her perspective. I also understand your point of view. I think if this was really my problem to deal with in the long term I would look into widening the family circle to include another dom or two—Nikki will eventually find someone she is serious about, and he will have to have his dom on! I think perhaps your feelings wouldn’t be so raw if you had built trust between you and they were family.

    • Thanks Dawn I just know I am who i am knowing the people probably would not change that Thanks so much for writing Bree and I are really good now

  2. Sharing is something specific to each couple. Some doms and subs share their partner, some don’t. I’m the opposite of Bree wherein if I had a Master and he paddled someone else? I would feel cheated on, jealous and let down.

    In all relationships growth is achieved, sometimes through pushing limits of both the dom and the sub, but imo, some limits should never be pushed. If this is a limit through which there would be a huge fissure put in your relationship, then should it even be attempted? On the other hand, she watches you paddle others. Should you then accept her need to be spanked by others?

    This could bring out the whole poly argument, but I won’t go there as I am not poly and I know arguments for/against it can get brutal.

    Plus, I just looked up and saw that the two of you have worked out whatever you decided.

    Relationships are hard, aren’t they?

    • yes relationships must always be worked on but ours is very strong so all is good. I would be fine with Bree feeling if I will not share her she will not share me I really have no desire to spank a bunch of women really not since I met Bree Thanks for writing Thianna

  3. I think if it was me and my D had a big issue with it I’d probably pull back a little but still keep the dialogue open and see where we could go from there, if any where. I’d prob take baby steps, go to the party, scope it out, maybe get spanked by D but not someone else. For me if it were a first time getting spanked by someone else I would want to make sure we both knew the other person fairly well so there was at least some trust. Baby steps are easier to walk back then giant leaps.

    I don’t honestly think your feelings are irrational, controlling or selfish especially given your poor experience with that one individual. You want to protect her and you can’t completely trust a new person to do that. At the same time though it would probably feel like I wasn’t trusted enough to make a good decision or trusted enough for this to not cause major issues in the relationship. I would also hope that my D would understand that wanting to get spanked by someone else had nothing to do with not being satisfied or being without something in the relationship. I can understand that a spanking isn’t just a spanking though for sure, there are a whole bunch of other factors and emotions that are involved in one, though.

    Heck I think its a fairly common fantasy to begin with, it would be nice, in my opinion. I think my desire for it would have to be weighed against how much worry or distress it was going to cause my D plus if he was getting absolutely nada out of it, that would probably alter my opinion of it as well. Good luck figuring everything out.

  4. I can only speak from a purely vanilla side. If you feel it’s like cheating then it is. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. There are some vanilla’s who have open relationships and are really turned on by it or just don’t care that their s/o steps outside the relationship so they don’t consider it cheating. With regards to it “just being a spanking” is it possible you don’t trust another Dom not to hurt Bree? From things I have read on your/her post you obviously have great trust in each other.

  5. Bree will have to ask herself if getting spanked by someone else is worth the hurt it will bring to you. Have you asked her to not to do something she really wants to do before?
    Feelings don’t have to be rational, they just are. You seem to be looking at your feelings honestly and admitting they may not be fair. Doesn’t make them wrong.
    Is Bree doing the same thing? Tough place to be, but I’m sure you two can work it out. Good luck

  6. Good post and thanks for sharing your dark Dom feelings Sir John.

    From Bree’s perspective or a woman’s? I can just volontere mine. I think that I would feel as if you didn’t trust me, and and I might not see that you are watching out for me. But after 9 years together I also think we would know each others hard limits and therefore respect it. But I’m not Bree… Sorry that you are at odds both of you. Hoping for the best for you guys!

  7. Can you be a little more specific? How would we react to what? Your sending out this email or your reaction to her request.

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