DeSade strikes again… And again….. And again…..

Sigh. Mr.Meanie is at it again. Thanks to the naughty behavior of his harem of subbies, he was left with an itchy palm.  Nikkers wisely disappeared and left me, alone, to face a Thousand and One spank day.

I lost count how many times I found myself upended, OTK, for the sets of fifty to one hundred the first couple of hours. I am certain, though, that the sets far exceeded ten as the day wore by and it became more uncomfortable to sit quietly. Every email SJ received, every commercial on TV, every time one of us went to the bathroom…. Was preceded with a bb spanking.

Did it make me happy to get all this undivided attention?

Yeah! But even I have my limits!!

Which brings up the question asked by one of my girls….

Britt wrote and asked…

“I was wondering how do you know if you want to be in a Dom/Sub relationship? Or (even) a spanking one? I haven’t been in a relationship but when I read my first book with spanking in it I was fascinated. I know I definitely want to stay away from any cane or whip I think but hand sounds ok… maybe.”

That is a loaded question… The DS relationship and how it is practiced is different for every couple just like a vanilla relationship would be. The key is how content are you to fantasize being in the relationship verses living in it.  For most of us, we have experienced both vanilla and DS.. We have found that we need someone stronger than we are to be our partner.. Someone who we can respect, whose intent is for our own well being, and that he cares enough to say no and SHOW his love by not allowing us to continue destructive or unattractive behaviors.

For me, the beauty of being in a true DS relationship is that we NEVER fight. We discuss things, even disagree at times, but I trust John to be the responsible HoH and make decisions based on best for us and our family. A true DS relationship is built on absolute trust and nurtures a safe environment to grow in. It is also completely honest, with no shame or hidden secrets or agenda.

All the Doms in my books, and the relationships I present, are based on my own life and how John behaves. There is no abuse of power, nor is there an unyielding control. Seek  what you think you want and use the way that the Doms in my books honor, respect and love their subs as an example.  Abuse is not, nor is it ever to be, an option. The relationship must be fully consensual, even with implements chosen. You can’t top from the bottom with a real Dom.. And dictate to him when, how and with what to discipline you, but a real Dom will also listen to your fears and doubts and will introduce you to things slowly and carefully. You should always be his first concern, even above his own. This advice applies to a vanilla relationship as well.  Do not settle. If you can’t love and respect your partner, you will be miserable.

A good test is have him read books like mine and use that to open a discussion. Be honest with him about your feelings and encourage his as well. If he shuns it, or makes fun, find someone else. Even if it is a fantasy, you don’t want to be with anyone who won’t honor and respect your interests. Even if it just applies to play or curiosity.

SJ mentors men too, so if you are dating someone who wants to learn more, have him contact him. We are here to help relationships grow and thrive.

Luvs,

Breeeeee