My Guardian Dom

Hey Ya’ll!  
I wanted to thank everyone for the awesome reviews and feedback I’ve been getting on Guardian Domination.  I was asked to share a bit about that book and how it came about… especially after one reviewer commented that it was unrealistic, abusive and felt therapy was a better option to spanking.

Hate to break it to you guys, but Guardian is, for the most part, based on a true situation.  Mine.  The training…. many of the scenarios…. and how things came to pass.  Of course, we are not independently wealthy, nor do we live in Carmel… and I am no longer 18…. LOL! It’s spanking fiction for a reason, right?

When John and I met, I was a mess.  Despite the belief system that therapy can fix anything, I can tell you, that is not the case.  I know.  I tried. I had been raised in an unhealthy environment, married into a severely abusive marriage (where there was physical and emotional abuse), and constantly struggled with my own sense of failure, insecurities and fears.  After a hospitalization and resultant divorce, I was on my own for the first time in my life. I was driving myself into the ground working full time and struggling to put myself through my Masters in Psych when a friend coerced me to go out with him to listen to this band play.  As a people pleaser (my boundaries sucked back then), I couldn’t refuse and reluctantly went along. John’s playing impressed me and I commented on it. Well…..  the spark was there, you know, the sense of comfort you have when you meet someone who is good for you.  Not that I trusted my spark because mine always ended up in flames! John took it upon himself to get my number and started emailing.  Every time I looked, he was contacting me to see how my day was going, check on the progress of my thesis, inquire about my sugar levels…. nothing ‘creepy’ or invasive, just friendly and light.  We started talking daily, staying on the phone for hours after he got off of a late gig and I was still up doing homework.  After about three months, he finally asked me out on a casual date/hang out.  I was gun-shy and quickly backed out. I had sworn off men, relationships and anything that even resembled commitment. Nothing serious, he promised, just as good friends which we had become.  With a little convincing, I agreed.

He was going to be playing a gig close by and we decided to meet for dinner and maybe a movie afterwards. Although we had talked countless hours about everything (vanilla) under the sun, it was so different actually looking into his bright blue eyes and saying the same things to his face.  He had a fascinating way to draw things out of me, things I would never have considered sharing with anyone, let alone this man. I was guarded and had only told him enough about my recent past for him to know I would not put up with any repeated offenses demonstrated by the Ex. He held my hand across the table and gently, but firmly, told me that if I let go of my need to control, I would be much happier, healthier, and confident.  I did not like that advice. Not one bit. My response? Well…. it started with going against his request to not swear…..

John looked at me straight in the eye and told me bluntly, “I thought we knew each other well enough by now. You could use a good, long spanking, young lady. That was completely unnecessary.”

Of course, my retort did not include anything that even remotely resembled agreement.  It made me angry, in fact.  More so because I had that secret, hidden part of me that he knew nothing about. He stood up, paid the bill and silently held his hand out for me to take.  I resigned myself at that moment to believe I blew the chance of ever having a decent man in my life and, like everything else I touched, I poisoned this friendship too.

I was wrong, as I was on so many occasions when it came to John.  Not only did this decent guy want me, but he wanted me to be all I could be.  He saw something in me that no one else had, and he knew how to make the something come to life. That night, instead of a movie, he escorted me to his hotel room and laid down the rules of our relationship… first to my ears and then to my bottom.  The first rules was that I was never to say anything against myself again (Still working on that one.) I can’t say it was consensual, but then, I can’t honestly say it was not. Truly, the moments that followed that fateful encounter left me feeling confused, afraid, but also more feminine and secure than I had ever imagined.

That’s how it began.  There were other people involved in certain phases of my training, people who we still love dearly to this day. We were not involved sexually until my training had been completed (almost two years later) and he knew that I was ready to commit in both his lifestyle and as his wife. There were times the discipline was harsh, but it was always deserved and I never felt either abuse or neglect from him, only fairness and absolute love and devotion.  John believes that a woman’s bottom was put on this earth with the capacity of handling quite a bit of ‘use’, and that the fleshy parts of her anatomy were the only areas to be chastised. And he always follows discipline with much love and nurturing.

I can’t speak for all D&S relationships, just for my own.  Being a submissive, specifically being John’s submissive, has healed me all of my wounds and brought me to a place of peace and confidence that no amount of therapy, or medications, could ever do.  The lessons I learned through my own experience are ones I use as references when I’m counseling others in my private practice- normal, successful, highly-educated individuals who struggle with their alternative lifestyles and the people who ridicule or judge them.   Just looking at how my own sister has blossomed since her exposure to John’s training and the boundaries and demand for self-respect he has placed on her, proves to me time and time again that proper discipline, love, and enforced boundaries can effectively change the course of destruction in a person’s life. This lifestyle is not for everyone.  But to those who feel called to it, there is nothing more wonderful or more gratifying, and gives something that a therapist or drugs can never provide. Unconditional Love and Acceptance.

With All Our Love,
Breanna and John

I’ve Got Something I Just Have To Say…

If you have ever read this blog before, you probably noticed that Bree and I interact much the same way as sisters everywhere. We argue, a little. She bosses me around, a lot. I complain, once in awhile…My point is, we are normal sisters that do not agree 100% of the time and often make our opinions quite obvious to one another.

You may have also noticed that my contribution to this blog does not really contain a lot of praise directed at Bree. I figure she has lots of fans that are already inflating her head enough. I don’t really need to add to that. I wouldn’t want her to you know, just float away like a hot air balloon or something. But today I need to make an exception.

Her latest book release, Guardian Domination, is probably my favorite book she has ever written. Well, in all honesty, it is tied with Generals Daughter. But a favorite book, none the less. So when she decided to finally submit it for publishing, I was thrilled. Cause I knew how good it was and I knew that you all were gonna flip over it just as much as I did.

 But, with that announcement came something else. She was being advised that the book was just a tad too big. That readers are not that interested in big books. So, like a good author, she heeded the advice she had received and started cutting content out of the book. And I started complaining. A lot. A whole lot. Cause I did not agree that readers don’t like big books. I think most readers-or at least the ones with half a brain in their heads-love big books. How else will you  really get into the characters heads? And how else can you totally and completely fall in love with a story line? Sure, you can love shorter books but big books, well, they are what I think readers want. Your paying for the story after all right? I mean, you want to get what you are paying for. In any case, we argued and lets just say, there were tears. Lots of them. Im not even sure why I cared so much, but I did. I am sure Bre could tell you -her with her psych background and all. But I don’t really want to know. I just know that I felt very strongly that cutting the book up was a bad idea.

Luckily, Bree is one of those people gifted in balance. She was able to cut stuff from that book that was redundant and that people wouldn’t miss-and actually added some new material-which definitely enhanced the book. Ultimately, I am not even sure how much she removed from the book and how much she added but the end result is….A Nice Big Fat Book. A terrific story that you read and fall in love with right away. And based on the reviews and comments she has received so far, I think that her peeps are loving the book just as much as I do. And the best part???? Sooo many comments about how happy they are that it is a full sized novel. Not a little book but a real story that you can sink your teeth into.

So what do I have to say about that???? Wait for it………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!! 

That’s right. I knew this book was gonna be a hit and I knew that everyone would appreciate/love/adore the nice big size of it. So there you have it. Once in awhile, I am right about something. And I am not too proud to admit it. 🙂

P.S.  If you haven’t yet read this book, go get it now. Really, right now before it sells out.

Love, Nikki

In The DogHouse

Hi My Friends!

I am Sooooo Sorry that it’s been a while since I’ve posted.  Life takes over and messes up the things you want to do.  Obeying John, unfortunately, has been one of them and I’ve been finding myself BB and bawling on way too many occasions as of late.  Sigh…. stupid things, too.  Being disrespectful (I stuck my tongue out… or was it my finger), forgetting to phone home (I was in a bad neighborhood, I mean, he couldn’t have helped me anyway), and pretending to have a headache to avoid punishment (he called it lying… but the thought of the spanking was giving me a headache!).  Of course, the typical stuff like fighting with Nikki, not eating right and forgetting to take my meds.
All in all, it’s been a pretty crappy month EXCEPT—–

GUARDIAN DOMINATION is finally done and up for sale on Amazon and Blushing!  I’m sure I won’t hear any complaints about this one being too short— 25 chapters and 83K words.  That’s the size of TWO regular books!! Moreso, the story line is based on my own experience as being trained as a sub and the development of the relationship between a submissive and her Dom.  Plus a few naughty scenes… of course. Please, don’t forget to leave your reviews!

Also, be on the lookout for  
This is one of the spiciest and risque pieces yet.. and I’m LOVING it. I’m actually planning on taking some days off work to write more… do I dare tell you about it? Put these things together… spanking, menage, BDSM and romance to the nth!  Mix in a secret or two and bake it under the sky of one of the most intriguing places on earth, and we have a squirmingly hot piece of literature. Cross your fingers, I hope to have it done in the next week or two.

I wanted to thank all of you for your continued support and encouragement, as well as the story ideas you’ve been emailing me. I’m excited to see that there are some potential authors out there too, so whatever I can do to help, you let me know!
Love to All of You!

So Mad!!!

I am so angry right now. I have been under so much stress with school. I am in my senior year of nursing school. It is so much stress. So last semester I started smoking. Just a little bit. Like a cigarette a day. And Bre found out today and ratted me out. I don’t know why she couldn’t just leave it be. It isn’t that many. Maybe a pack a week. Its not that big of a deal. It helps me relax. Many of my classmates smoke a cigarette at break. I smoke one on the way to school, on the way home and during break. Thats about it. Why did she have to tell on me?

SubSpace– The Final Frontier

In my upcoming book, Guardian Domination, I’m going to be introducing the incredible phenomena known as ‘subspace’.  I thought it might be a good idea to talk about it so that my readers would better understand the circumstance and sensation that comes with it.

First, Subspace is very, very real….. it’s the body’s natural defense to pain or stress when the feeling of separation between body and mind occurs.  For anyone who runs, has had tattoos, or is into extreme workouts… you will know what I mean.  It’s that place of being put into auto-pilot when you no longer really feel, just function through the moment.

For a submissive, it is pure heaven…. the endorphins are pumped up to an all-time high and he/she can just embrace the moment when pain becomes pure pleasure.  Many of us LOVE the ‘after glow’ of a good spanking, but HATE the process.  Subspace enables us to have the best of both worlds. And Doms/Dommes? It is a sign of pure and absolute trust in you.

QUESTION:  Sounds great, but how do I get there?
Just like an athlete (for those of us who are not), we have to work to that point where our body is pushed to the limit of tolerance and then surrender to it.  It takes practice… relaxing and not fighting the pain, not fighting the process, resisting the urge to escape and just embrace the moment.  It’s taken me many years of practice to achieve subspace in a short amount of time… and there are requirements for me to get there.  Unfortunately for me, John knows what they are and, when being punished, he makes certain I feel every swat and stroke and deliberately keeps me from going into my ‘happy place’.

The best way to learn how to enter this zone is maintaining a slow and steady rhythm without any breaks- starting at the least sensitive point, the crown of the bottom.  Gradually build up the intensity without building the speed.  Doms/Dommes need to watch their subs closely…looking for signs of relaxation…. buttocks unclenched…. hands unfisted and tucked comfortably under the head… toes uncurled and legs straight, usually with ankles crossed…. no noise except an occasional purrrrrrrr.  Allow them to enjoy that moment before increasing the intensity.  Moving too quickly or too hard can jar them right out of that place.

It takes time and practice, and a lot of patience…. but it is a special place you can experience if you take the time to discover it.  Anyone have any experience they would like to share? Or any questions?  Lemme know!

Luvs, Bree

Implements- Tools or Torture? Part I

Thanks to my buddy, James, I finally have a new computer.  I guess the poor guy got tired of editing all my typos that came with the crummy keyboard and my general lack of interest. So now, I have no more excuses regarding my frequency of updating the blog, writing my books or responding to emails.

A computer is a tool for my art and to communicate… unfortunately, implements serve the same purpose to any self-respecting Dom/Domme.  They not only relish the effects of a bottom well-spanked, but also that the lesson they were teaching is well learned.  I’ve had many fans ask me about the pros and cons of different implements and, of course, my favorites.  Just an FYI- it’s personal choice and dependent upon each individual’s needs. I’m a leather girl… hate wood…
John’s got a whole arsenal…I’ll cover a few each time and want your comments regarding your experience with these! Of course, what we subs might consider pros/cons might not be how our Doms/Dommes see it!

Pros:  Very convenient , most intimate , catches all the curves 🙂
Cons:  Very convenient
Comment:  My fav OTK.       


Pros:  Easy to carry/hide,  fits well in palm for easy swing , min bruising 
Cons: Smaller focus     
Comments: OTK – sharp sting    
Pros:   Different thicknesses, Designed for palm    
Cons: Can bruise, sharper edges can distract from discipline
Comments: OTK- hard sting/deep                                                          

HAND PADDLE/oval    

Pros:  Fits in the palm, covers larger area, reddens quickly 
Cons: Deeper bruising 
Comments: OTK- thuddy, good for alternate positions

HAND PADDLE/ oval with holes  

Pros:  Fits easily in palm ,covers larger area, reduced air resistance- less work to make impression
Cons: Can blister/bruise    
Comments: OTK- sharp/bite, good for alternate positions.. Nikki LOVES this one!


What a week….

Gosh am I glad this week is over. It has been one emotional roller coaster. Can you say PMS? I managed to get myself lectured and punished and, well, without going into details, it was a rough week. I have been feeling maybe insecure? I was given and order by John to not do something and if I do it there will be dire repercussions. So obviously I am tempted to do exactly what I am forbidden to do cause you know, tell me I can’t do something and suddenly, that is exactly what I want to do. So been struggling with that. Sorry so vague but have to protect the innocent here… But one day due to my previous behavior daddy decided that he had to deal with me as SIR rather than Daddy for the day(or two) and it was rough. I like him a lot more when he is daddy. Heck I love him when he is daddy but when he is sir he is just downright scary and mean. But I do understand where he is coming from-but that doesn’t mean I have to like it right?

Plus, I have been doing my ICU rotation and it is tough and scary and sad and challenging, and… well you get the picture. I am not planning to become an ICU nurse. All though looking back – I can do that because my  rotation is over – it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and I learned a lot. And thank GOD for Bree. She is so smart and so helpful. It’s great having a sister who is already an nurse when you are going through school. Now if I could just figure out how to get her to do my homework…

So, back to how glad I am the week is over for me. I’m off tomorrow, all though I have a lot of work to do. But not needing to get up at 0400 is a wonderful thing. I fully intend to sleep in. Then do some homework. Then lounge around the house. Maybe I will get lucky and someone will make me dinner or something. That would be nice.

So there is my update. I really hope next week is better. I don’t think I can take another emotional week like this past one.

Paying the Consequences

Do you guys recall that tiny, itsy, bitsy, harmless little drinking incident that Nikki and I suffered a ways back?  I guess that either I’ve had a lapse of memory, or maybe just pure insanity, but I repeated my mistake.  John is sitting here as I stand and share the misery of my condition.
My bottom hurts,  Bad.  And I deserved every painful swat.
Besides the fact that I’m diabetic, and alcohol is not the wisest choice I make on those rare occasions, John has a personal issue with ‘over-indulgence’ and a lack of self-control when it comes to his family.  He’s very protective and I terrified him when I started acting weirder than usual.  He checked my sugars and they were severely high.  It was at that point I had to confess that I not only disobeyed his limit of one glass of red wine, but I lied and overindulged with three glasses of my favorite- Ice Wine. For those of you who aren’t familiar with pure ambrosia- it’s a sweet, smooth desert wine that is very very concentrated and, for me, potent.
I can’t remember the last time I saw my husband’s face turn quite that shade of magenta.  I started praying for a miracle- like maybe a UFO would land on our property or, even better, the Lord’s return… but nothing.  John was silent and pointed to the corner where I stood in dread for over an hour.  The fact it took him that long to cool off sent fear down my spine.  I was dead meat.
I expected to see a cane or a switch, but no…. just an assortment of paddles and the strap laid out neatly next to the straight back chair that sits menacingly in full view in our bedroom. John sat down and held my hands…. the poor guy looked close to tears as he started sharing with me how frightened I make him when I put myself in danger for no reason other than satisfying my rebellious nature.  He started to list off the things he would miss if I was gone from his life.  I’m not a crier…. it takes a lot to get me go beyond a couple of drips…. but I was darn close by the time I was OTK and had my bare bottom airborn.
I honestly lost all time and sense within seconds after John started spanking me.  I remember he started with his hand… as always… then progressed through the line up of implements that he intended to use to leave a final impression upon my bottom and my heart.  After at least a good ten minutes (seemed like a hour) I could not distinguish one implement from another, and I finally broke.  I’m talking breaking of the Hudson Dam and flooding the city type of flood.
John did not stop.
I have no idea how long it continued— I was, without doubt or question, genuinely sorry for my stupid and selfish actions. The spanking stopped only when John decided that I was truly repentant.  and then he held me as I kept sobbing like a baby, rocking me and kissing my head until I calmed myself.  He had me look into his gorgeous sky blue eyes and said he loved me.  The tidal wave returned.
John is nodding in approval as he reads over my shoulder.  I can’t help but smile proudly… his approval is all I need to be happy and I’m promising myself to really work on gaining more.

I Love You All-


Hello All!  Most of you know that I work as a crisis care nurse for hospice… and that it’s a job that is not only a bit stressful, but truly makes you consider how you live your life.. I finally found a medical philosophy that I promise to adopt, embrace and celebrate… Let me know what you think!    Luvs— Bree

 Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  Oh no.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy: No pain…good! 
Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be bad?

  :  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A:  Oh no!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. 

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me? 

A:  You crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure? 

A:  If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? 

A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember: 
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

For  those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.   

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans… 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:  Eat and drink what you like.   Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

I’m sorry…

Yesterday I posted in my punishment book and I used a curse word. This is one of my rules and I broke it. Not allowed to curse. Ever. Especially in public. I disappointed daddy and was a bad reflection on him and our family and did not conduct myself as a proper submissive. So I am really sorry if I offended anyone who read my post. I was punished-had to stay in position for 30 minutes 20 of which occurred while daddy lectured me. I will also be getting the gauntlet with five implements sometime in the future. Anyway, sorry everyone-especially Daddy and Bree.

Love, Nikki

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