I visited Daddy yesterday- it was a very special day, bittersweet, freeing and a combination of hellos and goodbyes. John was incredible and held me as I talked to my general, cried, and then commented that he had still managed to get the ‘general’s corner’ and the best view! It felt so natural and really helped heal a lost part of my heart. I left this letter for Gen G which also finished my book. I took some pictures- I blocked out his full name and personal information to protect his living family from people like the one mentioned in the letter, but still wanted to introduce all of you to my daddy. He was an incredible man and the inspiration behind the Generals’ Daughter series.
There are so many things I want to share with you; good and bad, but first, I have to say I’m so very sorry for hurting you when I left. I couldn’t explain my reason at the time because I had to protect you at all costs, even if it meant losing the only person who made me feel safe, protected and loved. You meant more to me than I did. The night before Les transferred, he betrayed my trust and forced himself on me. He then threatened that he would report ‘us’ if I told anyone what he had done, even though you and I did nothing wrong. I couldn’t take the risk that anyone would believe the truth about you and me—people always seem to prefer to believe lies if they are more interesting, nor could I risk your future.
Please forgive me.
I’m ashamed to say that my distrust in people still exists and that you were right about the presence of those who would go to any extent to harm others in order to gain for themselves. I’ve experienced that time and time again; most recently this year in way that you would have found appalling. I just wish I had paid better attention to your lessons in dealing with these types—it would have saved me so much heartache and pain. I also wished that you had been there for me to lean on and love me through the pain and betrayal, but you have already left this life by the time I gained the courage to ask for your help.
You were the only father figure I had ever known, the only person who believed in me, and the only one who saw all the good things that I had to offer. I know my choices disappointed you, starting with my first marriage. Again, I did it to spare you from the rumors and gossip spread by the little minds and jealous peons. You were right about the man I married—I lost two more children the same way that I lost the first, through his abuse. Not having you to hold my hand during the last two deaths like you did on the first made me realize how much of your heart you gave to me. I don’t even want to go into the other things that happened–today I just want to hug you again and tell you that you were right all along about so many things.
It took a long time for me to build up the courage to finally rid my life of him. I pulled my life together and met John. I brought him to meet you today and know that you’d like him. He’s just like you, not much of a Daddy Dom (although he does try), but a wonderful, loving, caring and protective man (who lets me swear, by the way!). And yes, I give him as much of a hard time as I did you. After all, the legacy must go on, right?
You taught me so much about myself and my life, and gave me a foundation that I’ve clung to since that last day. I still have your stars and the sapphire that you bought for me, and both bring back the memories of how incredible you were to such a hurting little child who only wanted to be loved and accepted.
I’m a pediatric hospice/special needs nurse and a therapist now, and also work with the VA in domestic violence where I get to help others who are hurting and pay it forward as I have promised. My books share the things that you have taught me with thousands of readers. This letter is the final piece of a book that I wrote about us, and one that I hope will help someone out there feel a little less alone. I’m going to give the earnings to a charity who helps victims of domestic violence. I know it’s what you would have wanted.
Again, I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you the truth. I know that you forgive me; you’re still my daddy; in my mind, heart, soul and spirit and you always will be. You’ve never left me and all this time you’ve been gone, you still watched over me from heaven and just waited for me to call for your help. With this book, one I am calling The General’s Little Angel (no snoritng, now), I’m now able to fulfill all the promises I made to you. It’s freed that little girl inside of me to be happy again. I love you, Daddy, and will be back to see you again very soon.
Your Angel Forever—crooked halo and all,