One Size Does Not Fit All

Hello lovelies,

Christmas is just around the corner so have you been naughty or nice?

Thought so…lol.

My post this week is about some of the different types of subbies. There are many many types of subbies, none more right than the next. I am just going to touch on a few that I have experience interacting with but the main thing I want you to understand is that, as the title says one size does not fit all. What may work for you might not work for someone else and vice versa.

For this post let’s deal with 3 specific types of subbies and how the dynamic can change, and must change with each. First, is the big subbie. This is a grown woman who needs boundaries and discipline. Second, is the middle subbie. This is a grown woman that likes to act as a teenager, still in need of boundaries and discipline. Third are the littles. Grown women who tend to act much younger, sometimes as young as 3 or 4, but also in need of boundaries and discipline.

It’s interesting having a lot of subbies. I have all of these levels of subbies in the different women I train. I had a recent conversation with a middle who said “Well if I brat as a middle then no discipline.”

Wrong…very very wrong.

Let me give you an example for each type. Let’s take misbehavior like being sassy. Not anything that requires severity but everyone must be approached differently.

The big: This would usually be handled OTK with my hand, the paddle or brush and certainly hard enough for a blazing bottom. Maybe 150 or so hand and 50 brush if the sassiness was as bad as possible followed by some corner time, scolding and finishing with after care.

The middle: Also OTK with my hand but about 50 then maybe 25 with the brush or so with added corner time, scolding and maybe lines. Always after care.

The little: OTK with my hand about 25 then possibly 15 with the brush. Of course corner time, lines, scolding and lots of after care.

So you see how different each approach is? Like I said one size definitely does not fit all. I bet some of you are thinking ‘ok, I’m switching to little, they don’t get spanked as hard’ lol. Unfortunately or fortunately, you must be who you are naturally. Some of you are littles but not all of you. Remember no matter big, little, or middle there are always consequences.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

Living with an Artist

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Hello lovelies,

I trust you all had a great thanksgiving. Bree went beyond her usual amazing cooking and I ate myself into a tryptophan coma, lol.

Now it’s back to normal, or what passes for normal, around the Hayse household. I thought I would give you all an idea of what it’s like living with a best-selling author and not just that but an amazing crafter, sculptor, jewelry, painting, building miniature doll houses, weaving and last but not least having a beautiful singing voice. I mean come on, most of us would love to have just one of those talents right?

This is a typical day as a writer:

Morning, about 8 am, I usually make Bree coffee or tea and a couple of bagels. I let the borders out back.

I figure I will see Bree around 3, or so, when she takes a lunch break.

You see, she works on her books every day, no break and about 10 to 14 hours a day. She’s funny as she has an eidetic memory, like Sheldon on Big Bang. I ask her about a date we went on 10 years ago and she can name the place, time, what I was wearing and what the lady at table 3 was wearing but, I ask her what day it is and she says “Uh..Saturday?” when it is Tuesday lol.

Bree usually requires a spank break when she’s writing, especially if it’s a scene she is enjoying. So I do get to see her some during the day.

Sometimes we eat dinner. Sometimes Bree is on a roll and does not want to break her concentration and will just write. If Bree is on a roll writing, don’t ask her about paying a bill lol. Bad idea…really bad.

Now it does not end after a 10 hour day. Even when we go to bed her mind is racing. It’s not unusual for her to get up at about 2:30 am, start writing and continue until evening. This happens almost every day, how she functions on so little sleep is a mystery. I certainly could not.

That’s a typical day here. There are usually more spankings but as far as the other stuff, Dom’s honor, all true. I really don’t see her much during the day and into early evening!

Next time you read one of Bree’s books remember that’s a lot of hours she works on those, not to mention when she’s done she needs to edit. She’s pretty amazing, as you all have discovered.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Happy Spanksgiving

Hello lovlies,

What am I thankful for? A lot of things…

Bree, of course, the most amazing female I have ever met. Her having such a spankable bottom is quite a perk lol.

Our borders.

My health and the health of my loved ones.

Our lovely home, thanks to Bree’s decorating.

All of my subbies.

All of you that write and comment on my posts.

My sincere wish is that you all find what I have with Bree. Hopefully, if not this Thanksgiving, the next one you sit down to eat on a bright red bottom. Hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you. Concentrate on the positives and not the negatives.

Happy thanksgiving or spanksgiving to all of you.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Immediate Honesty

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Hello lovelies,

First, let me say this, I love women. I always have. I’ve always hung with women more than guys. I mean come on, who wouldn’t? Plus the added perk of being so spankable and there is a chance you’re a subbie, lol.

That being said, you all tend to hold things in. If you’re a sub it’s holding things in times a gazillion. As a Dom I need to know where my subs are emotionally, at all times. This is vital because I could say or do something in a session that might be a trigger, create a big deal and not knowing my sub was feeling emotional about a certain thing that day would end badly.

I work with every subbie I have on this…all the time. I don’t know why subbies hold things in and make their lives more stressful and more emotional than they already are. I am pretty good at knowing when a subbie is off. I can tell you when I ask “What’s wrong?” and a sub says “oh nothing, I’m fine,” I want to bang my head against the wall of my music room. Yes, there is a small hole there already, lol.

Immediate honesty is so important. I can’t tell you how many times I knew something was up, or worse, thought everything was fine and then I get an email 3 days later… “Sir, I think I may have to quit” or “Why did you say this to me,” or “I’m so angry with you.”

This is so frustrating for me because this could have been settled 3 days ago if my sub would have just said “can we talk,” or at least answered what was wrong when I originally asked. As a Dom I am responsible for my sub’s emotional wellbeing and when a subbie hides her feelings from me it can turn out very badly.

So to those of you with Doms, or just in relationships, I have three words for you…Stop doing this!! Immediate honesty is difficult, I know, but it always works out better. It saves you so much anxiety and stress.

My subbies will tell you it’s stressful enough being my submissive, so why add to it? Just say what you feel when you feel it. It will make things much easier and also save my wall from further damage.

Be good, or else…

SJ

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