Call Guinness

The apocalypse is here.

Time has stood still.

Hell has frozen over.

Pigs are flying.

Kenny G is not playing a gazillion notes.

The earth has stopped spinning.

UFOs have landed on the white house lawn.

The Mayans were right.

Zombies are real.


And how do I know these things my lovelies? There can be only one explanation. One real truth. One indisputable fact.

Bree was on time for her 2:oo appointment yesterday and with an implement!


Get your spankings in quickly the end is near!!!

Be good, or else…



11 thoughts on “Call Guinness

  1. Bree,

    I just don’t get it. Again and again its happened, and I wasn’t going to say anything – but someone’s gotta…

    What the heck is with all the hatin’ on Kenny G?!!!

    John just did it again, and don’t think I haven’t noticed you doing it – you’re guiltier than he is!

    I mean – I’m certainly NOT a fan, but the thing is – had my dad and his crazy-ass girlfriend not had one of his albums (which I detested and vehemently protested hearing) I wouldn’t even remember who he is. Why? Cuz I was in freakin ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!!! It was back in the eighties, for the love of god! Enough already. Be about love, not hate. Or, if you’re gonna hate on someone, pick on someone socially relevant to THIS DECADE, or at least the one before it! Jeepers!

    I’m OLD. Any younger than me, and your readers are confounded and having to Google!

    If you guys continue with this – I really AM going to believe you’re ancient. I’m already picturing the two of you sitting together spit shining each others walkers in preparation for your Sunday shuffle around the block, all the while griping about the horror of listening to Kenny, LOL!

    I’m doing you a solid, here. I love you too much to allow this to continue… (sigh)

    Pass it on to John. He needs to know. Seriously.

    I’ll leave it to you to break it to him. Look – I’d tell him myself, but frankly – he scares the crap outta me! You’re all luvs, and hugs, and kisses – not a threat at all, (that’s right – not scary, sorry) so I’m telling you because I figure it’s WAY SAFER, and, again – I love you. But he shouldn’t be allowed to continue on like this, either. (sigh) I don’t know him, but he’s funny, and seems likable.

    Sometimes in life, we just have to let things go. It’s hard – but think about what I’ve said, okay?


    R. I. P. KENNY

    Remember – LOVE, not HATE. Let Kenny, his memory, and most of all – his music, stay in the eighties where he belongs!

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