Discipline Positions

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So lovelies, I was thinking about a subject to write about, besides subbies being crazy, I love you all but geeeez. Anyway, I want to discuss punishment positions.

Hey!! Get back here, I did not say assume one…well not yet.

As a Dom I like two different methods of delivering discipline. I like the struggle and squirming, and most subs feel more secure if they can be held down for a spanking. You sure whine a lot when you are though. The other more strict method I call Dom positions. This involves you keeping still and remaining in position throughout the spanking.

Now why would I enjoy such a thing?

Besides the obvious, when I am training a sub she needs to understand obedience is a constant, not just once in a while. So, imagine you are bb and OTK about to get a spanking with something you hate, dana, bath brush, wood paddle etc.

Normally you would all be squirming around like little subbie eels but this time you must stay in position. Palms must be flat on the floor and remain flat on the floor. If they move? All together now…back to the beginning of the spanking, yeah!

Now I never said you would enjoy this, and my de Sade side is glad you do not, but it’s a great way to show your willingness to submit and be obedient.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you have been very bratty…I know it’s a stretch but roll with it, lol. I say you are to get 50 with the brush. Now if you move, we go back to one.  To answer your question, yes I have restarted at 49 for moving. I am quite serious about staying in position. You can certainly wiggle, Doms love that, but palms must stay flat on the floor.

I was wondering if any of you, with Doms, have experienced this or something similar? If not, I am sure you will suggest it right away…Not.

I find it’s a very good way to impart a good blistering alongside an important lesson. There’s also the plus of no whining about how your back or arm got tweaked because you decided to try a Cirque de Soli move while being spanked and had to be restrained. So what do you think lovelies? Keep in mind that this works just as well for bent over hands on knees, or on a chair etc.

Win-win for me, of course if you move, more spanks and a redder bottom, if not you have been thoroughly controlled and topped.

It’s good to be the Dom.

Be good or else…

SJ

Extraterrestrial Spankings #SatSpanks

Saturday Spankings

Skylar’s Guardians is Bree’s most recent release. While it was released in back in January it still remains ranked in the Top 100 on two Amazon lists. This is the longest run for one of her books and I’m ridiculously proud of her! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and make sure you stop by the Saturday Spankings Blog to see what everyone else has going on this weekend.

Skylar’s Guardians

As she lies alone and injured in the wilderness, twenty year old Skylar believes her life is coming to an end, but in reality a whole new life for her is about to begin. She awakens in a strange place, having been nursed back to health by two strangers whose enormous size, exotic technology, and odd habits indicate that they are not of this world.

After a thorough, embarrassing examination, Skylar is informed that her rescuers have found extensive manuals on caring for human females—manuals that sound suspiciously similar to her favorite erotic fiction. She is told that from now on she will to refer to them as “Daddy” and “Papa” and that she will be expected to behave well and follow their instructions.

Skylar soon discovers that disobedience will result in a bright-red bare bottom and that a sound spanking is not the only way to punish a naughty girl. When she is good, though, her handsome guardians can pleasure her in ways which never before entered her wildest fantasies. Will she remain defiant and continue plotting her escape or can she learn to embrace a life far happier than anything she has known before?

skylarguardian

This quote begins with Troy and Tralec working with Skylar on mastering the use of the synthesizer to create clothing for herself. She finds herself in hot water after not following their directions exactly.

When I tell you something, I will not be repeating myself, nor will I explain myself if I chose not to.” He  spanked her again. “It is very clear that you need firm and consistent guidance, and I intend to provide that.”

“Owwwie! Pleeeeease stop. You are hurting me!”

“Further,” Tralec continued, his hard hand not pausing for a moment as it turned her tiny bottom several shades of scarlet, “you will be spanked anytime you forget to address us properly. Understood?”

“Yessssss, sir, Daddy!”

Amazon               Barnes & Noble               Blushing Books

 

How To Spot A Dom

anthony

Hello my lovelies,…are we all behaving?  No- that was rhetorical.  lol OK a lot of you have been asking me, sir  how do I spot a Dom?  At a party or club etc? Well sorry to tell you ladies, we do not wear a big ‘D’ on our chests, or carry a crop in our back pocket.

So how do you spot a Dom? Let me illustrate something for you. I watch movies. A lot of movies. And occasionally they get it right- as far as  depicting a true Dom/sub interaction. I am thinking about one movie in particular that really nailed it. You may be surprised at what I am about to say, but as always, hang in there and all will be revealed. The interaction between Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster in…Drum roll please………….Silence Of The Lambs!!  OK, just calm down and hear me out. I mean sure he was a psycho and killed and ate his victims, but nobody’s perfect right?

Ok seriously, here is the deal. From the first time Clarice lays eyes on Hannibal,  if you watch carefully, he already has her. She is mesmerized. Even knowing he is a dangerous killer, she still cannot deny his vibe, his power, and control. He does not have to raise his voice, move around etc..He is totally calm and in control. She is an intelligent woman and she is reduced to a shivering mass. She may not know why yet, but  she cannot take her eyes off him, and she is immediately compliant.

Now  Anthony Hopkins is a genius actor, but he does not look like Brad Pitt (or whoever you find hot these days).  Looks have nothing to do with the true Dom vibe. If a Dom is good looking, its a plus, but not a necessity. So what does this have to do with spotting a Dom? If you see someone or someone says hello to you, if he is a Dom you will feel like Clarice staring,  mesmerized, and powerless. You may think I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am not.

Now there is another way you can test if a guy is a Dom, or at least trying… Be a brat. When he calls you on it,  say something like “well what are you going to do about it, spank me?”  The answer will leave no doubt but thats not nearly as exciting as a Dom just looking at you, and you melting.  You need to see a Doms eyes. If you re watching Silence again, (and if you are discovering your sub side, you should) look at Hannibals eyes and how he draws Clarice in without even trying.

So  it starts with the eyes.If you do not feel that weak in the knees, fluttering heart, shortness of breath…Keep looking.

As always be good or else!

SJ

Meeting A New Dom/Domme For The First Time

 

Sir John here. I would like to address the do’s and dont’s of setting up an in-person session and how to act during it. For simplicity sake, I am using the term applicable to a M/F scenario and am addressing female subs but everything I say can be applied to any sub, male or female. The general guide should be helpful… whether you are looking to explore a Dom dynamic with a male or female or if you are a guy/gal interested in developing your Dom/Domme chops. OK here is a list and I will expound upon each point.

1. Where can I meet a Dom?      

Good question! I would say the best way is to visit some websites. spanking.com has some good ads. If you want more S&M maybe alt.com -but we are not dealing with that level here. Read reviews! If someone has had a bad experience, they will post it. Don’t be afraid to email him/her and ask for details. You can also contact the site manager to see is any complaints have been placed against the user. I also suggest the same be done for the Dom… I have had my own bad experiences with subs who weren’t exactly what they claimed to be!

2. How do I know I am talking to a real Dom and not a wanna be Dom?

Well, you don’t really, but there are some signs you can look for that will indicate he is at least in the ballpark. He should be very nice, but very firm when discussing your behaviors. A “young lady I will not tolerate that” or “It seems to me you need to be accountable for your actions” are good signs that this is a real Dom. If he says you should call him Sir while chatting, that’s good – as long as it is not done the wrong way. This is the wrong way: “You will call me sir, and speak only when spoken to you, tramp.” Hello? Are you there? Well, of course you are not, this guy is a jerk and more of a ‘wanna be Dom’. But if he said something like this: “I assume you have had little training, as its customary to refer to a Dom as Sir as a matter of respect.” Then you can choose to say “yes sir” or brat, and make a smart remark. He will know how to handle it. Like Breanna says, if he can’t treat me like a lady, then I cannot trust him to be a gentleman.

3. The meeting.

Lets say you have talked for at least two weeks. Yes, at least. You must get to know one another and not be afraid to ask the vital questions. Look for consistency, too and a little bit of humility. A man who has the absolute need to constantly toot his own horn is usually one that has some insecurities. If you have doubts, then wait a while until you are positive that he is stable and consistent. He must also be a person of integrity who works on his own self-improvement and personal goals. Now that you have decided it is time to meet, remember this one thing…this is non negotiable…. never, ever go to his house! Always insist your first meeting be in a public place. A restaurant, coffee shop etc.If he balks at this, move on, he is not thinking of your safety and a true Dom would be.

4. After your coffee or dinner, you find that you like one another, and you feel he may be the Dom you have been waiting for. Is it ok to have  a session that evening?  

I would say yes, if it is done safely. That means he has a hotel room. He arrives first. You never ride with him. After he is settled, ask the clerk at the desk if he is there and get his room number. Make sure the clerk will remember you. I would also encourage you to have a friend call you at the hotel at a certain time.   Seems a bit much? Well look, you do not know this man and soon you will be bare from the waist down in a position to be disciplined. Kind of scary right? A true Dom will understand you are kind of freaked out and will take things slow with you. You should tell him that if you say you are serious, that you are having difficulty breathing or with anxiety, etc. that he should stop.I would think a real Dom could punish you just fine with just his hand, but he may insist on some implements depending or your offenses. you need to discuss this prior to meeting. Will he use implements? Will you be marked? He may refuse to tell you and, in that case, you need to decide if you want to pursue this with him or not. Which brings me to number 5-safe words.

SPANKING

5. Safe Words?

On this topic, I have a rather controversial point of view. My opinion is that if you are playing-say doing a role play-bad secretary, etc. then safe words are fine. But if you are seeking real discipline, for actual bad behaviors that you are working on; speeding, smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. In these cases, I do not believe in safe words. I have done many sessions over the years and the majority of women said they came to me because they had used a safe word previously and stopped the spanking before they felt truly punished. Where as after our session, they did feel truly punished, and could get rid of the guilt. I am not saying do not use a safe word ever, that is up to you. But if you need to atone, you will be disappointed with a safe word. Trust me. Oh, FYI, Breanna has tried for years to incorporate a safe word (she loves to find ways to weasel) and my response is always the same… Do you trust me to do what is best for you? Trust takes time to build which is why I insist on taking as much time as you feel you need to learn about each other.

IMPORTANT! There are some psychological issues that sometimes come up, especially during a first session. This is where honesty and trust must come into play. Let your Dom know if you have any concerns about things, as well as if you are on any medications (blood thinners, aspirin, seizure meds), etc. that might affect your session. Honesty must go both ways!

6. Behavior during a session.

A lot of new subbies ask me how they should act during a session. Should I obey everything immediately? Not struggle or complain, etc? Well, here is the deal…. I would recommend a little bratting and a little resistance. My reason is because you need to know that the Dom can control you. If you are able to struggle and get off his lap, or call him names and get away with it, that’s pretty much game over. So give him a little challenge. We Doms kind of enjoy that anyway and it will show you if you are on the right track with the right Dom for you. But while on the subject, let me reiterate, a real Dom never ever yells or curses you or degrades you. If this happens, leave immediately and save yourself a big hassle later on.

NOTE: Some subs like ‘humiliation’ and name calling…. Establish a comfortable and safe relationship with your Dom prior to exploring this genre. Let him know your ‘deal breakers’ in both words and actions.

7. After your discipline…

Here is the truth. If this is a real punishment, it’s going to be painful. Depending on what you are being punished for, coupled with the skill and the strength of the Dom, it could be very, very painful. Tears would not be uncommon, nor would some marks, bruising, or welts. Another vital component to a real Dom is having a caring and understanding vibe after your punishment. He may decide on corner time, but he should also hold you and let you cry it out if you need to. He should also verbalize forgiveness so you can let the guilt go. Breanna also liked to be told that I was proud of her for accepting her needs, which helped her feel less ‘weird’. One cool thing about this arrangement is when its over, it is over. No guilt, no holding grudges. A clean slate. After you leave, the Dom should call you to make sure you got home safely. After that, it is up to the two of you to decide if this was a one time adventure or the real deal. Time will tell. Never settle. If you are careful and smart, you will find the Dom you have been Jonesing for.

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