Never Get on the Boat

Hello lovelies,

I will explain my paraphrasing Martin Sheen from the epic Apocalypse Now…well, now.

Bree and my anniversary is the 29th, but Bree worked today. So I gave her her present the day before. It was a surprise, well it was supposed to be, Mensa head figured it out pretty quickly. Bree loves whales so I thought; taking her whale watching would be romantic and groovy. The sun on our faces, the sea breeze, flowing along on the deep blue glassy Pacific Ocean. Sounds cool, yes?

Let me quote a well-known saying that now has special meaning to me “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” On the way we hit a Jack in the Box, just so we had something in our stomachs, as it’s a three hour boat ride. We ordered and took off for our romantic adventure.

About halfway Bree was looking a little green, “John, you have to pull over and get me Gavicon and 7 up. I’m going to hurl!” Uh oh, not a good start. I found a pharmacy, got Bree’s stuff and we were on our way, though I questioned the wisdom of her going on a boat. That, kind of turned out to be true.

We arrive, get our tickets, and the guide comes out and says “Hello everyone, due to storms our ride will be very rough so, if you have it, take your Dramamine.”

Oh poor Bree, yeah right. 

We take off, it’s one of those stunningly gorgeous days that make Midwesterners pack up and move to California. All is well, were on the rail looking for whales although the swells were rough at 5 to 10 feet. I’m watching Bree close, you know, Dom taking care of his sub kind of thing.

We sit down and I’m thinking, man these are big waves, and they were, some hitting 30feet!  Big dips up and down, up and…Uh oh. I barely made it to the rail, depositing all of my sausage combo quickly. I can truthfully say, the last time I was this sick I was on the road and some insecticide got in my protein drink (don’t ask). Bree was right there talking me through some marine exercises about watching the horizon and bending my knees. In fact she was supporting my legs as they decided they would not be working for a while. It was so bad a deckhand came and told me I would feel better in the back of the boat. I took my walk of shame as all the children clung to their mommies like I was Frankenstein and they were villagers.

Once I was exiled, I felt better as there was a whole group feeding the fishes, as I had. Then something happened that was truly divine intervention. A nice lady, gave Bree something and said it would help. It was two wrist bands! Huh? Thanks lady but I’m dying, I’m not interested in accessories right now.

Bree put them on me and I swear, the lady must have bought them at Hogwarts, I mean this was some serious Harry Potter mojo. About 10 minutes later I was at least 50 percent better. Bree found a bench for me to lie down, and she stood up all the way back pushing into me so I did not feel the rocking as much. She was a combination wonder woman, merry marine, and Florence Nightingale. If she had not have been there, I would probably have slept with the fishes literally. This brings me to the Martin Sheen quote. Never get on the boat!  Oh yeah,

Be good, or else…

SJ

Spelling Bree

Hello lovelies,

Bree and I were watching TV. She was kind of in a mood and was teasing me about not hearing her when she mouthed off. She was right beause she would leave the room and say something. Since there was no way to hear her, she figured she got away with something. However being typical Bree she had to push it and try to get away with it within earshot.

Bam!!!! Busted.

Now, I don’t want to say exactly what she called me but, it sometimes refers to a cat, or a lady part, or a willow! I told her we would discuss before she went to bed. My was she shocked when she tried to get under the covers and ended up bb OTK.

“I thought you forgot,” she yelled.

Right, lol. After a nice red bottom warming I decided to make my point in a different way. I said, “Now spell out what you called me.” It took more spanks but she finally started.

“P. Owwwwwww. U. Owwwwww…” Well you get the idea. And of course she had to throw in a Bree remark as she rubbed her bb. “Ouch I’m glad I didn’t call you something with more letters.”  Indeed, lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Grey Skies Will Not Clear Up, I Don’t Have a Happy Face

Hey lovelies,

I bet you will want to start a Sir John day after you hear this. I am in NV doing a gig and I get an email from Bree with the heading OMG. Now this could be really good or really bad. I decided I should open it as, it might be important, maybe about Bree’s health or maybe the borders. I would never have expected what it was about though, not in a million guesses.

Here’s the gist… “Just watched 50 Shades, it’s really good, you have to watch it.” OMG seemed very appropriate.

Now I get home after a week, I’m trashed and Bree says “Guess what we’re watching tonight?” I have to admit, my brain went to the usual, Disney. I mean, I have been frozen, tangled, brave and gone through the jungle book, but no. Then it hit me like a tsunami. “Oh come on Bree,” I remarked. She got that look like someone stole her Cadbury chocolates. Then I sealed my fate…You see we have a deal. If I don’t want to do something I ask her “Is this really important to you?” If the answer is yes then I’m in, God help me.

So, we sat down to watch 50 Shades of Hell. Let me give the devil his due, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Don’t misunderstand, it was horrible, just not Keanu in Dracula horrible. The story is ludicrous so why bother? The guy is a laughable Dom but he’s very good at play. Delivering a punishment? I doubt any of you would feel that was the case. There’s no chemistry between him and the subbie (who is just annoying). No emotional investment equals I don’t care.

I watched it and unlike someone we all know, that cannot jump, I did not yell at the tv how stupid this was. When it was over I really needed a Big Bang Theory break. I held my remote like it was the grail that would restore my sanity, when a small voice said, “Oh we have to watch part two!”

What!!!!! They actually made another? Why me? I’m a good Dom why, why??

Yes, I watched the second movie and yes it was just as bad as the first, maybe worse. See why I said you would want to celebrate SJ day? I mean, how awesome was I to endure this? Come on, let’s hear it for me.

Oh I had to break the news to Bree that, unlike Mr. Grey a discipline spanking is not 5 semi-hard smacks.

Be good, or else…

SJ

A Little in the Middle

Hello lovelies,

Before I get to my post I want to recommend a movie for you all. Bree wanted to watch, What Dreams May Come, I had seen parts of it back in the day but did not remember it. It’s a great movie, the ultimate example of love and selfless sacrifice, well worth a look.

Now to my post, as the title implies (rather cleverly if I do say so myself) it’s about ageplay….in a way. Bree has her moments as a middle, not many but on occasion. Like my last post said she won’t let herself act out much but, when we go to the market or shopping (especially to the place I feel should be added to Dante’s levels of hell), Super Target, she has a little…pun intended…ritual.

Some of you may know, Bree is about 5’ 1” which makes it very difficult to find her if she takes off, which she likes to do. I told her to jump up and down so I might see her head bobbing among the hair products but, as we all know white girls (at least 5′ 1″ ones) can’t jump. She thinks it’s funny to take off with the cart. She’s also pretty good at hiding so I usually just wait at the checkout because she has to show up eventually right?

I swear next time I am going to tell the manager I have a lost child. All over Target you would hear “Breanna your dad’s looking for you,” lol. You never know with her.

Be good, or else…

SJ

%d bloggers like this: