A First Encounter…Act 3


Well my lovelies, we are finally at the end. The big pay off. The show stopper. The climax.The main event… Well, you get the idea. Curtain up. The scene in the hotel room. Yes a nice one, did you think I would take you to a motel 6? Come on, its me!  Anyway, you are in the corner and i am sitting on a straight backed chair reading out loud.

Lights, camera and soon action…lots of it..

SJ:..OK young lady, I am quite displeased with your book. Your first offense…

You: Uh Sir,I can explain that one. You see I …

SJ: Did I not say no talking? Take three steps back and bend over.

You:  (Oh great nice one.Subbie brain, couldn’t keep your big mouth…) Owwwwww, Owwwwwwww!

Two hard spanks delivered over your dress.

SJ: Now back to the corner, and I want silence, understood?

You: Yes Sir.  (Oh God, I am still stinging, this really hurts! Like bad and it was only two over my dress with his hand? His hand feels like a paddle! I am so toast.

SJ:  First offence in your book: not refering to me as Sir on 4 occasions.Do you remember this young lady?

You: Yes Sir. (Really? He is going to spank me for that? Geeeez, what a gigantic meanie-head dom-brain giant…)

SJ:  Come here.

You:  (OK I can move pretty quick, but he looks like he can too.Lets see, if I bounce off the bed just right, flip, hit the door, unlock… I can be down the hall before he can catch me. Yeah sure, and then I can join Cirque de Soleis as the worlds fastest subbie. There really is no way out. OK I can do this)

SJ: Alright young lady, over my lap. Quickly!

You: (OK this is it. Am I moving? I think I am somehow).

You are now in position.

You: (Wait, what the… whats he doing? Oh god he’s raising my dress and my panties are in my purse so now I’m bare bottomed!!!!) Oh god, Security!!! (Oh did I say that out loud? Please say I did not say security out loud)

SJ: Security won’t help you now young lady.

You: (I did say it out loud. Oh boy, I am losing it! OK, this won’t be so bad.So he’s a strange man. Well, kind of strange, seeing my bare bottom That is not the most humiliating thing that could ever happen, or has ever happened in my life .Ugh! Right!)

SJ turns the tv volume up loud.

You: (Huh? He’s going to watch TV while he spanks me? Typical man. Must be something on thats really important. Hey Mr. Dom, I am right here you know. The woman with her head almost touching the floor, and her BB up high… Remember me? Oh wait, I know why he turned that show up so loud, so my screams and his spanks will be muffled. Oh now that’s just wrong. Thats)…. Owwwww!

SJ delivers a sound spanking of 50 spanks on each cheek, the spotlight is showing your cherry red bottom. Standing ovation from the men and a few women- most of them are trying to crawl under the seats.

SJ: Now young lady, back to the corner, and keep that dress up so I can see your red bottom.

You: (Ouch, ouch I wonder if you can die from a spanking? I mean the heat could travel to my brain and… This hurts so bad! I want to rub this, but even more, I want to try that new karate kick thing I have been practicing. Right in his big giant blue eye. But I think that would be bad.)  Ohhhh! Ouch!

SJ: Now young lady, we are getting into more serious infractions, which means much harder punishment.

You: (Huh? I think I might have blacked out, or the heat really is frying my brain, did he say harder? How could it be any harder?Help!!!!!!!)

SJ: Your next infraction is speeding. This is very bad and for this you will get the brush and the paddle.

You: (OK, when I was little I held my breath once and passed out. I bet I can do that again and then he will feel sorry for me ,and just do after care. Yeah, I like..OK here I go….) Gasp! (Ugh! That is really scary. How did I do that when I was a kid?)

SJ: Over my lap, now!

As if in a trance, you walk forward and lay over his lap, red BB up.

SJ: Speeding is very serious as it endangers not only you, but others. You will count 50 strokes, clear?

You:  Yes Sir. Owww! (Oh man, that thing hurts.)  OK I am done. Really good spanking Sir. Lots of fun. See ya, like, never…

SJ: Sorry little subbie, you will get what you deserve. Now we start again since you did not count.

You: oww! One!…

This continues until your bottom has those nice white circles surrounded by red, which denotes a hard and well done hairbrushing.

You: (What? I am crying? Well I must be, my face is wet and I am hyperventilating. I should use this. Yes I am so brilliant. Ha! Win for me. Just wait Mr. Mean Dom)…

At this point I stand you up and tell you to sit on my lap. .You do and you bury your head into my shoulder.The audience does a awwe in unison, and does that head thing like in the scene from airplane.

SJ: I know it hurts, it has to, to deter you. Do you understand if I did not care, I would not punish you?

You: (Wow, he’s really kind of nice. How weird, a nice sadist… Isn’t that like, an oxymoron? Like jumbo shrimp? He’s even stroking my hair. I kind of like this.If my bottom did not feel like I just sat in on a fire ant hill…)

SJ:  So you understand why the punishment must be very harsh for this offense?

You: Yes Sir.

SJ: Good now stand up go to the desk and bend over.

You: (Wait, what? What happed to the hair stroking and holding and all that stuff? It isn’t over yet? Oh come on, hes not really going to use that horrible paddle? He wouldn’t; not after me crying. OK I was crying a little, I might have embellished. I did play a pretty convincing tree in my 5th grade production of Peter Rabbit, if i do say so myself, but that should have worked.Tears always work for me: cops, mail men, even someone at the DMV once. And those guys are a hard audience, so why is it not working when i need it most?)

SJ: Now, you remember you are getting 25 with the school paddle? You will probably mark, as your bottom is starting to, but I told you you probably would, so do not be surprised tomorrow.

You: (Great, not only my great crying scene did not work, but i am going to be black and blue. Good job subbie.)

SJ: Get your bottom up, if you move out of position, we start over.

You:  (OK meanie brain, I got news for you, I am going to take this and you will never see me again. No way am I going to move. I am a statue. I am…) Owwwww!!!

You jump up like you were on a string and start rubbing your bottom, jumping up and down.

You: (God that hurt! Oh owww!! Man! Ugh! Why am I jumping around like a frog on a hot plate?)

SJ: OK  young lady, back in position, I have all night .

You: (Yeah you do, thats great cause I am going to be dead soon so i hope you are happy and I hope its on the news how you killed me with a paddling Mr. Mean Sadistic Dom Person…)

You get back in position every female in the audience winces with each stroke somehow you take them all ..this time tears and alot of them

I take your hand, and put you on my lap

SJ:  You are forgiven for your transgressions, you can cry and stay here as long as you need to.

You: (I am really crying and I really can’t stop. This hurts so bad, but I kind of feel good, like I payed for my behavior and have a clean slate. Maybe there is something to this D/s stuff…I am staying right here.. I like being held and comforted.)

You: I am sorry.

SJ: Yes, I know.Lets hope your book is better next week.

You: Yes. Huh? Wait, book?

SJ: Do you not remember our agreement? You wanted to atone weekly, and I agreed.

You: (I am insane, I did say that.)

SJ: Are you changing your mind? Nobody is forcing you, you know.

You: No Sir, I will just make sure I have nothing in my book next time, especially no speeding. (Did I just say that ? Can a hard spanking make you delirious? Maybe thats it, but i know I need this, and I know he’s the one to teach me to behave. This is really weird.)

The stage begins to dim as you snuggle into my shoulder, weeping very lightly…

Curtain…The audience goes crazy. Three curtain calls… .

Well my lovelies, so ends Act Three. Granted, I kept the offenses in the book at a minimum, and also the the speeding punishment would be quite a bit more harsh in person. It was no where near severe. So do I have to say it?

Be good or else!


A First Encounter…Act 2

Hello lovelies , The last act in our play was a phone conversation, and my last words were ..I will meet you at 5:00 PM sharp, in front of the restaurant. Do not be late, I have a brush in my car. So we pick up from there…


Act 2

You:  Yes Sir ( ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! what am I doing? I am insane right?  Hmmmm maybe the brain tumour thing is really a possibility. Argh! OK enough, got to get ready,I have 3 hours no problem).

You shower and before you get dressed, you look in the mirror. Immediately you google Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, for fastest weight loss.

You: (Come on one hour- come on just 10 lbs in a hour. Ugh, no luck!).

You look fine, but you feel your bottom needs its own zip code . You put on your makeup and do that smoky thing to your eyes and get dressed.

You: A garter belt? Who wears this now a days? Geez, I am not wearing this. No way. Five minutes later you have the garter belt on, stockings, panties,  wrong color but still.. Simple top and jacket because as Mr. Dom Man says ..”I could care less about how you look from the waist up”. Hmm.. OK, now panic attack in your mind. Oh god  I can’t do this. Not only meet a stranger, well kind of, but bare my bottom and get a real painful spanking on top of everything else? No no!!

You stumble around the apartment running into walls, pounding your fists, and then suddenly all motion on stage stops. From back stage, a distant sound like angels singing is getting louder. The stage is bathed in golden light and out of the corner of your eye you see it, the holy grail. Nirvana. The promised land. Yes! Now you can go on, now you can be strong, because you have, angelic choir sings Hallelujah Chorus, candy!! You pop a small butterfinger into your mouth. Slight foodgasm. Throw four more small assorted bars in your purse and you are off. GPS is working, you have plenty of time. You even have gas in the car! Alright you are feeling good. You can do this, in fact, you will probably be early.

You: No!!! Detour!!! Why lord why? Gridlock today, of all days. You pound the steering wheel and yell out loud, come on you idiots move it! I have to get spanked!

Seems you were yelling really loud and your window was kind of open. The car next to you has a family with their mouths hanging open. The women holding her sons ears.

You: Great. Just perfect. The traffic starts to move. And then there it is, and you are five minutes early. I made it!! The valet comes up and opens the door and you jump out like you are on fire take the ticket and throw him your keys. Ow! He says loudly.

You: Sorry, uh, I will tip you big later. Ok you are outside and its three minutes to five, but no Mr.Dom. (If he stands me up,I will find him, and hurt him, and then kill him). Suddenly a figure is approaching. Not really tall, but not short. Not really walking, more like gliding like an animal. Dressed all in black. (God, don’t let that be him. Don’t let that be him. Don’t let that be him)

SJ:  Hello

You: (Oh god its him) Uh, hello Sir.

SJ: On time, impressive, shall we?

SJ opens the door and we walk in in.

You: (Shall we? Said the spider to the fly). (The eyes, oh boy. Kind of like, really blue and really nice, but scary. and my head is exploding oh god maybe it is a tumor)

The waitress comes over to take a drink order

You: Yes uh, lets see, is there such a thing as a double long lsland ice tea? No? Of course not, sorry. (Why am I babbling) Uh just the regular Long Island ice tea.

The stage goes dark. Only two intense blues eyes are seen.

You: (oh that look is not good, not at all. Uh, what did I do?  I ..ok drink. OK I got this).

You:  I meant a regular iced tea. I was confused. You see, I was thinking about Long Island and tea and well you know, just kind of put them together. But no, alcohol  is really bad. (ok could I appear like any more of a lunatic? And its not helping that Mr. Dom has this crooked smile which is quite unnerving).

The waitress leaves in total confusion.

SJ: OK, relax. It’s alright. I know you are  a little freaked out.

You: (Yeah like the crew of the nostromo were freaked out when the alien popped out of that guys chest ewe! but Mr. Dom’s eyes are really kind, and hes nice. Why does he have to be so nice?)

You talk, relax over dinner, even laugh.

SJ: OK I want5 you to do something for me .

You: Yes sir

SJ: Go to bathroom and remove your panties. Come back and sit on your bare bottom touching the seat while I order coffee.

You: (Oh sure Mr. Dom, perv much? Know what? I am out of here. Thats it buddy, no way no how) Yes sir.

In the bathroom…(Am I really doing this? I am, but why? Whats going on? Maybe he slipped something in my drink. Yeah, oh man maybe some weird hypo drug which makes zombie subbioes out of strong women) 

Back at the table

SJ: Do you know why I had you do this?

You: Uh, no Sir

SJ:  I’ts a test of your willingness to obey. And also to show you, you have no control when you are with me, clear?

You:  Yes Sir, I think so (yeah clear you are a big dom head meanie)

The check comes, SJ pays and we leave.

SJ: I am going across to the hotel. Meet me in the lobby

You: Yes Sir (How does he move like that? Maybe hes a vampire).

You give your ticket to valet. The guy brings you your car and has a band aid over his eye where you hit him with your keys.

You: Oh sorry! So sorry.

You tip him $10.00 and debate on whether to tell Mr. Dom what you did. Walking into the lobby you see he has the key and you both get in the elevator. Room 2012 may as well be in the tower of London.

You: Uh, Sir,

SJ: Yes?

You: Sir, whats in the suitcase?

SJ: I told you implements would be used. Some of your book requires more than just my hand young lady.

You: (ok don’t faint. Young lady. Those eyes and a case of torture items. Sure, just a usual Saturday night).

SJ: Ok, when you enter, go to the corner and stand with your hands on your head. Do not speak unless given permission. Am I quite clear?

You: Yes Sir.

I open the door you walk to your position. You hear me lock it, and you can only think of one thing.

You: (come on, brain tumor !!!!!!! )

Act 3 next week.

Be good or else.


A First Encounter.


Ok lovelies, here’s the dealio. In keeping with the spirit of last post, I am continuing with an original Two act play. Thank you, thank you, kneeling was a nice touch and for those of you who did so.. BB kudos…..

The part of SJ will be played by me. The part of all you subbies, will be played by me. Yes I know, thank you. It is amazing. Oh my, a standing ovation? You are too kind.

Now I said a two act play so act two will be posted next week. Hey, stop pouting. I can hear you all chanting like the end of Freaks– Tell Us Now! Tell Us Now! Tell Us Now! For those of you who have not seen Freaks, one of the most disturbing movies of all time, this chant will mean nothing. For those of you that have , it’s to the rhythm of- One Of Us! One Of Us! Yes it was clever. But I digress…

Act One

I have told you I would be calling you on the day we had decided to meet, and do a real discipline session. I said I would call at 5:00 PM. You  were to be in posistion, BB and answer the phone, “Yes Sir” OK, everybody on board? Curtain up.

You: (in your head) (Ok, you can do this. So he is going to call, and then we meet, and he will spank me. So big deal right? What?! Am I insane? Did Dom aliens kidnap me and implant a crazy thingy in me so I say “yes sir” like a pavlovian sub? No! When he calls, he is going to hear a strong woman. Confident. And I will be making some rules of my own.)

Phone rings off stage… 

You: Screaming ahhh! Hello? I mean, uh uh

SJ: Really?

You: Uh, Hi! I am well. Nice to talk to me. I mean you. I mean. (Oh nice, one I am woman, hear me crumble) OK, wait, I think I am forgetting something.

SJ: What did I tell you about today?

You: (Uh, what did he say? It’s nice out, a good day for the beach? Oh man!)

Dom, Dom, Dom..(played on a double bass off stage)

SJ:I am waiting…

You: Trying to strip, and hold the phone, which you drop in your coffe. Uh, bad connection. Hi Sir.

SJ: And your resoponse should have been?

You: Uh, in position-Hello Sir. (I am toast!!!!!!!)

SJ: Yes, that should have been the response. You will be punished for disobedience, understood?

You: Yes sir (said with a shaky voice)

The audience is moved by my portrayal osf a subbie falling apart, and applause rings out.

SJ: Do you have your clothing for this evening?

You: (Huh? Oh yeah. But do I have everything? Wait a minute, who does he think he is telling me how to dress? I can wear whatever I want. OK, I feel better.) Uh, almost Sir.

You: To audience ….OK OK, cut me some slack!

Back to the play. 

SJ: Well?

You: Uh Sir, I do except for the sheer black panties.

SJ: Explain young lady.

You: (oh man not the young lady thing already …ok don’t panic, you are smart. Probably smarter than meanie giant head so think.. hmmm ok got it) into You know Sir, its really strange, but there is a, a pantie thief in my neighborhood. Yeah, and he only likes black sheer panties, and they were on the line drying, and well… It’s kind of sad Sir, he just kind of stole them .Bummer, huh Sir?

SJ: (Trying not to drop the phone as I am laughing so hard)

You: (What the? Where did that come from? what is wrong with me? I am smart, hes like a demonDom. Ican’t even put a sentence together.)

SJ: Well thats quite a story, would you like to stick with it?

You: (Ok look, your bottom is going to get blistered anyway, just be honest with the guy) Sir I uh, procrastinated and did not plan enough time for the panties to be bought. Sorry Sir. (Ok that was not like horrible. Well it was, but not like Saw or Hostel horrible More like uh 70’s synthizier pop horrible)

SJ: I see. Well I told you if I was denied the sight of you in anything but the proper clothing you would be paddled soundly. Do you remember?

You: Oh god. Yes Sir. I am soooorry.

The audience feels a bit for the subbie character..good job…back to the play

SJ: Now young lady,

You: (Young lady again!!!!!!!!!)

SJ: Where did I say the paddle will be applied, teaching you the lesson you need to learn?

You: (OK don’t panic, you got this, you can do it. Think think) bing light bulb At the Four Seasons Sir .

SJ: Dropping the phone and crying I am laughing so hard.

Another ovation for my portrayal thank you …curtain down ….


Act two next week. And yes, this has kind of happened to me more than once. New subbies are so cute ..

Behave or else!


A Dom’s 3 Levels

Hello lovelies,

When I write a post I always hope to impart some helpful advice or information for you so and I certainly hope this will help some of you that might be looking or considering your own Dom. The following will certainly save you a lot of wasted time, if you follow my advice. So, everybody ready? This is about the 3 levels of Domness (very inside stuff).

There are three levels a Dom must have in order to be the real deal. If you are looking for a Dom or are starting to communicate with one this might help. If he lacks any of these I’d advise moving on. More than likely he is not the real deal. You can definitely play but as far as a true D/s relationship? No way will it work, trust me. I am going to go ahead and assume he is skilled with his hand and implements so that’s not an issue.

Amazed girl in front of computer

Level 1: Online Vibe

When you chat with a Dom or they send you an email, right away you should feel that something is different. It is not your typical m/f communication. You should get some butterflies in your stomach and maybe a little weak in the knees feeling. You may find yourself saying yes Sir, where you have never done that before. Also you might begin to develop the impression that this may be someone you cannot manipulate for a change.  If the vibe is there, congrats, level one check.


Level 2: The Voice

After a while he will insist you talk on the phone. As soon as you hear him say your name, your butterflies should return with a whole bunch of friends. His voice should convey that he is doing more than just talking. His demeanor should come through as well as the fact that you will now be held accountable for your actions. This should be exciting for you and possibly a little scary: heart rate should go up, knees very weak, possible inability to make a sentence, etc. If he transmits the vibe that he means what he says and know he will carry it out, congrats level two check


Level 3: The Look

I do not mean he has to look like a model or be juiced and jacked up like Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine series. The look I am talking about is one that will tell you in no uncertain terms you are in the deep end of the pool. It’s scary because you will have to make the leap and meet him. This puts you in a very vulnerable place physically and emotionally, especially if its decided you will have a session. If you act up or brat and he says nothing, but just gives you the look the butterflies should increase by about 50 times and be more active and chaotic. One thing will be certain, you are about to be truly accountable for all your bad behaviors that you have gotten away with for so long. This time is different because you know you cannot joke or smile or cry or even sex your way out of what you have coming. If the look says this…drum roll please…ta da you have found a real Dom.

One final piece of advice that I have told a countless number of subbies…Be careful what you wish for.

Good luck and be good or else…


Discipline Positions



So lovelies, I was thinking about a subject to write about, besides subbies being crazy, I love you all but geeeez. Anyway, I want to discuss punishment positions.

Hey!! Get back here, I did not say assume one…well not yet.

As a Dom I like two different methods of delivering discipline. I like the struggle and squirming, and most subs feel more secure if they can be held down for a spanking. You sure whine a lot when you are though. The other more strict method I call Dom positions. This involves you keeping still and remaining in position throughout the spanking.

Now why would I enjoy such a thing?

Besides the obvious, when I am training a sub she needs to understand obedience is a constant, not just once in a while. So, imagine you are bb and OTK about to get a spanking with something you hate, dana, bath brush, wood paddle etc.

Normally you would all be squirming around like little subbie eels but this time you must stay in position. Palms must be flat on the floor and remain flat on the floor. If they move? All together now…back to the beginning of the spanking, yeah!

Now I never said you would enjoy this, and my de Sade side is glad you do not, but it’s a great way to show your willingness to submit and be obedient.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you have been very bratty…I know it’s a stretch but roll with it, lol. I say you are to get 50 with the brush. Now if you move, we go back to one.  To answer your question, yes I have restarted at 49 for moving. I am quite serious about staying in position. You can certainly wiggle, Doms love that, but palms must stay flat on the floor.

I was wondering if any of you, with Doms, have experienced this or something similar? If not, I am sure you will suggest it right away…Not.

I find it’s a very good way to impart a good blistering alongside an important lesson. There’s also the plus of no whining about how your back or arm got tweaked because you decided to try a Cirque de Soli move while being spanked and had to be restrained. So what do you think lovelies? Keep in mind that this works just as well for bent over hands on knees, or on a chair etc.

Win-win for me, of course if you move, more spanks and a redder bottom, if not you have been thoroughly controlled and topped.

It’s good to be the Dom.

Be good or else…


Extraterrestrial Spankings #SatSpanks

Saturday Spankings

Skylar’s Guardians is Bree’s most recent release. While it was released in back in January it still remains ranked in the Top 100 on two Amazon lists. This is the longest run for one of her books and I’m ridiculously proud of her! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and make sure you stop by the Saturday Spankings Blog to see what everyone else has going on this weekend.

Skylar’s Guardians

As she lies alone and injured in the wilderness, twenty year old Skylar believes her life is coming to an end, but in reality a whole new life for her is about to begin. She awakens in a strange place, having been nursed back to health by two strangers whose enormous size, exotic technology, and odd habits indicate that they are not of this world.

After a thorough, embarrassing examination, Skylar is informed that her rescuers have found extensive manuals on caring for human females—manuals that sound suspiciously similar to her favorite erotic fiction. She is told that from now on she will to refer to them as “Daddy” and “Papa” and that she will be expected to behave well and follow their instructions.

Skylar soon discovers that disobedience will result in a bright-red bare bottom and that a sound spanking is not the only way to punish a naughty girl. When she is good, though, her handsome guardians can pleasure her in ways which never before entered her wildest fantasies. Will she remain defiant and continue plotting her escape or can she learn to embrace a life far happier than anything she has known before?


This quote begins with Troy and Tralec working with Skylar on mastering the use of the synthesizer to create clothing for herself. She finds herself in hot water after not following their directions exactly.

When I tell you something, I will not be repeating myself, nor will I explain myself if I chose not to.” He  spanked her again. “It is very clear that you need firm and consistent guidance, and I intend to provide that.”

“Owwwie! Pleeeeease stop. You are hurting me!”

“Further,” Tralec continued, his hard hand not pausing for a moment as it turned her tiny bottom several shades of scarlet, “you will be spanked anytime you forget to address us properly. Understood?”

“Yessssss, sir, Daddy!”

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How To Spot A Dom


Hello my lovelies,…are we all behaving?  No- that was rhetorical.  lol OK a lot of you have been asking me, sir  how do I spot a Dom?  At a party or club etc? Well sorry to tell you ladies, we do not wear a big ‘D’ on our chests, or carry a crop in our back pocket.

So how do you spot a Dom? Let me illustrate something for you. I watch movies. A lot of movies. And occasionally they get it right- as far as  depicting a true Dom/sub interaction. I am thinking about one movie in particular that really nailed it. You may be surprised at what I am about to say, but as always, hang in there and all will be revealed. The interaction between Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster in…Drum roll please………….Silence Of The Lambs!!  OK, just calm down and hear me out. I mean sure he was a psycho and killed and ate his victims, but nobody’s perfect right?

Ok seriously, here is the deal. From the first time Clarice lays eyes on Hannibal,  if you watch carefully, he already has her. She is mesmerized. Even knowing he is a dangerous killer, she still cannot deny his vibe, his power, and control. He does not have to raise his voice, move around etc..He is totally calm and in control. She is an intelligent woman and she is reduced to a shivering mass. She may not know why yet, but  she cannot take her eyes off him, and she is immediately compliant.

Now  Anthony Hopkins is a genius actor, but he does not look like Brad Pitt (or whoever you find hot these days).  Looks have nothing to do with the true Dom vibe. If a Dom is good looking, its a plus, but not a necessity. So what does this have to do with spotting a Dom? If you see someone or someone says hello to you, if he is a Dom you will feel like Clarice staring,  mesmerized, and powerless. You may think I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am not.

Now there is another way you can test if a guy is a Dom, or at least trying… Be a brat. When he calls you on it,  say something like “well what are you going to do about it, spank me?”  The answer will leave no doubt but thats not nearly as exciting as a Dom just looking at you, and you melting.  You need to see a Doms eyes. If you re watching Silence again, (and if you are discovering your sub side, you should) look at Hannibals eyes and how he draws Clarice in without even trying.

So  it starts with the eyes.If you do not feel that weak in the knees, fluttering heart, shortness of breath…Keep looking.

As always be good or else!


Meeting A New Dom/Domme For The First Time


Sir John here. I would like to address the do’s and dont’s of setting up an in-person session and how to act during it. For simplicity sake, I am using the term applicable to a M/F scenario and am addressing female subs but everything I say can be applied to any sub, male or female. The general guide should be helpful… whether you are looking to explore a Dom dynamic with a male or female or if you are a guy/gal interested in developing your Dom/Domme chops. OK here is a list and I will expound upon each point.

1. Where can I meet a Dom?      

Good question! I would say the best way is to visit some websites. spanking.com has some good ads. If you want more S&M maybe alt.com -but we are not dealing with that level here. Read reviews! If someone has had a bad experience, they will post it. Don’t be afraid to email him/her and ask for details. You can also contact the site manager to see is any complaints have been placed against the user. I also suggest the same be done for the Dom… I have had my own bad experiences with subs who weren’t exactly what they claimed to be!

2. How do I know I am talking to a real Dom and not a wanna be Dom?

Well, you don’t really, but there are some signs you can look for that will indicate he is at least in the ballpark. He should be very nice, but very firm when discussing your behaviors. A “young lady I will not tolerate that” or “It seems to me you need to be accountable for your actions” are good signs that this is a real Dom. If he says you should call him Sir while chatting, that’s good – as long as it is not done the wrong way. This is the wrong way: “You will call me sir, and speak only when spoken to you, tramp.” Hello? Are you there? Well, of course you are not, this guy is a jerk and more of a ‘wanna be Dom’. But if he said something like this: “I assume you have had little training, as its customary to refer to a Dom as Sir as a matter of respect.” Then you can choose to say “yes sir” or brat, and make a smart remark. He will know how to handle it. Like Breanna says, if he can’t treat me like a lady, then I cannot trust him to be a gentleman.

3. The meeting.

Lets say you have talked for at least two weeks. Yes, at least. You must get to know one another and not be afraid to ask the vital questions. Look for consistency, too and a little bit of humility. A man who has the absolute need to constantly toot his own horn is usually one that has some insecurities. If you have doubts, then wait a while until you are positive that he is stable and consistent. He must also be a person of integrity who works on his own self-improvement and personal goals. Now that you have decided it is time to meet, remember this one thing…this is non negotiable…. never, ever go to his house! Always insist your first meeting be in a public place. A restaurant, coffee shop etc.If he balks at this, move on, he is not thinking of your safety and a true Dom would be.

4. After your coffee or dinner, you find that you like one another, and you feel he may be the Dom you have been waiting for. Is it ok to have  a session that evening?  

I would say yes, if it is done safely. That means he has a hotel room. He arrives first. You never ride with him. After he is settled, ask the clerk at the desk if he is there and get his room number. Make sure the clerk will remember you. I would also encourage you to have a friend call you at the hotel at a certain time.   Seems a bit much? Well look, you do not know this man and soon you will be bare from the waist down in a position to be disciplined. Kind of scary right? A true Dom will understand you are kind of freaked out and will take things slow with you. You should tell him that if you say you are serious, that you are having difficulty breathing or with anxiety, etc. that he should stop.I would think a real Dom could punish you just fine with just his hand, but he may insist on some implements depending or your offenses. you need to discuss this prior to meeting. Will he use implements? Will you be marked? He may refuse to tell you and, in that case, you need to decide if you want to pursue this with him or not. Which brings me to number 5-safe words.


5. Safe Words?

On this topic, I have a rather controversial point of view. My opinion is that if you are playing-say doing a role play-bad secretary, etc. then safe words are fine. But if you are seeking real discipline, for actual bad behaviors that you are working on; speeding, smoking, drugs, drinking, etc. In these cases, I do not believe in safe words. I have done many sessions over the years and the majority of women said they came to me because they had used a safe word previously and stopped the spanking before they felt truly punished. Where as after our session, they did feel truly punished, and could get rid of the guilt. I am not saying do not use a safe word ever, that is up to you. But if you need to atone, you will be disappointed with a safe word. Trust me. Oh, FYI, Breanna has tried for years to incorporate a safe word (she loves to find ways to weasel) and my response is always the same… Do you trust me to do what is best for you? Trust takes time to build which is why I insist on taking as much time as you feel you need to learn about each other.

IMPORTANT! There are some psychological issues that sometimes come up, especially during a first session. This is where honesty and trust must come into play. Let your Dom know if you have any concerns about things, as well as if you are on any medications (blood thinners, aspirin, seizure meds), etc. that might affect your session. Honesty must go both ways!

6. Behavior during a session.

A lot of new subbies ask me how they should act during a session. Should I obey everything immediately? Not struggle or complain, etc? Well, here is the deal…. I would recommend a little bratting and a little resistance. My reason is because you need to know that the Dom can control you. If you are able to struggle and get off his lap, or call him names and get away with it, that’s pretty much game over. So give him a little challenge. We Doms kind of enjoy that anyway and it will show you if you are on the right track with the right Dom for you. But while on the subject, let me reiterate, a real Dom never ever yells or curses you or degrades you. If this happens, leave immediately and save yourself a big hassle later on.

NOTE: Some subs like ‘humiliation’ and name calling…. Establish a comfortable and safe relationship with your Dom prior to exploring this genre. Let him know your ‘deal breakers’ in both words and actions.

7. After your discipline…

Here is the truth. If this is a real punishment, it’s going to be painful. Depending on what you are being punished for, coupled with the skill and the strength of the Dom, it could be very, very painful. Tears would not be uncommon, nor would some marks, bruising, or welts. Another vital component to a real Dom is having a caring and understanding vibe after your punishment. He may decide on corner time, but he should also hold you and let you cry it out if you need to. He should also verbalize forgiveness so you can let the guilt go. Breanna also liked to be told that I was proud of her for accepting her needs, which helped her feel less ‘weird’. One cool thing about this arrangement is when its over, it is over. No guilt, no holding grudges. A clean slate. After you leave, the Dom should call you to make sure you got home safely. After that, it is up to the two of you to decide if this was a one time adventure or the real deal. Time will tell. Never settle. If you are careful and smart, you will find the Dom you have been Jonesing for.

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