Hello my lovelies,
How is everyone?
I have a query for all of you and would welcome your input. I was doing a session with one of my subbies, a very sweet newbie. She was not in serious trouble but it was a phone session. It was for a behavior I do not like.
You see, in phone sessions, the subbie cannot fake anything. I hear it all. The self spanks are always much harder and longer.
The session went as usual, and after she was forgiven with hugs I signed off. Later I get an email saying, she was upset and felt angry during the session. Mostly, wanting to cuss and be defiant, even though she did not act that way. She could not understand why she felt like this and was feeling very guilty, as all subs do. She’s very obedient, especially for a newbie, so this is way out of character.
What do you think?
I have a theory… I think a lot of subbies will push, newbies especially but even experienced subs, (Bree still pushes me on occasion). The reason this happens is that they want to know nothing has changed. Security and trust comes from consistency, so if I call them on it it seems all is good and balanced even though they get spanked and whine about how mean I am.
I also asked one of my more experienced subbies what she thought. She’s very smart and intuitive so her take was a bit different. She thought that as an independent woman used to being in control it’s a hard adjustment sometimes. So when you are in a session being disciplined you obviously have no control and sometimes that switch clicks and you just want even a little control. You get defiant or angry or you act out, even knowing there are consequences, because it gives you a little control, if only for a few minutes.
Have any of you gone through this? I know my subbies have. What do you think?
D/s is very powerful is it not?
Be good, or else…