Feelings and Emotions: Arrrgh!

Hello my lovelies,

How is everyone?

I have a query for all of you and would welcome your input. I was doing a session with one of my subbies, a very sweet newbie. She was not in serious trouble but it was a phone session. It was for a behavior I do not like.

You see, in phone sessions, the subbie cannot fake anything. I hear it all. The self spanks are always much harder and longer.

The session went as usual, and after she was forgiven with hugs I signed off. Later I get an email saying, she was upset and felt angry during the session. Mostly, wanting to cuss and be defiant, even though she did not act that way. She could not understand why she felt like this and was feeling very guilty, as all subs do. She’s very obedient, especially for a newbie, so this is way out of character.

What do you think?

I have a theory… I think a lot of subbies will push, newbies especially but even experienced subs, (Bree still pushes me on occasion). The reason this happens is that they want to know nothing has changed. Security and trust comes from consistency, so if I call them on it it seems all is good and balanced even though they get spanked and whine about how mean I am.

I also asked one of my more experienced subbies what she thought. She’s very smart and intuitive so her take was a bit different. She thought that as an independent woman used to being in control it’s a hard adjustment sometimes. So when you are in a session being disciplined you obviously have no control and sometimes that switch clicks and you just want even a little control. You get defiant or angry or you act out, even knowing there are consequences, because it gives you a little control, if only for a few minutes.

Have any of you gone through this? I know my subbies have. What do you think?

D/s is very powerful is it not?

Be good, or else…

SJ

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

2015-10-19

Hello lovelies,

As some of you may know, Bree hardly sleeps. I mean I have no idea how she even functions. I, on the other hand, am a different life form and need my sleep.

Last night I was really tired, Bree and I went to bed pretty early. I was sleeping really soundly until I had to take the borders out.  I did, then got back in bed and was in that warm dream state of falling back to sleep when…I felt something tugging my ear…then pinching me and laughing.

“Bree come on, I need to sleep!”

Except Bree is like a border collie, she thinks once she’s awake then everybody should be awake and play. I asked her nicely to stop, trying to explain that people of earth need to sleep but she was not buying it.

She kept saying “I want attention!”

I told her she was about to get it, but she would not like it. Just be still and sleep.

Of course, subbies be crazy, even at 2 in the morning. After about 100 bb spanks and constant owwwwing and whining, she finally went to sleep. I mean a Dom’s work is never done, I swear  24/7 lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Red and Red

Hello lovelies,

I was thinking about this today…Why is the color red so appealing on a female bb? Why do subbies like it so much?

I love a white bottom, don’t get me wrong, but there is something about it changing color that’s so pleasing.

Could be the control during a spanking or the power to change it to any shade of red I choose?

Not sure. I do know the visual is always a joy to behold.

And how about you my submissive ones? Why do you like to see your bottom’s in this state?

Is it to show your submission or that your Dom put his mark on you? Is it a sign you took what your Dom felt you needed? If it’s a punishment does it show you paid your penance?

In any respect I do love seeing it and causing it lol.

Be good, or else…

SJ

The Coin has Two Sides

il_570xN.672284017_b9jg

Hello lovelies,

Last time I listed the top 5 reasons to take on a sub and this week I thought about the top 5 things a Dom needs so he can be a positive Dom for a sub. Sound good? Now this is not about the voice, or having the look etc. this is different. Hang in there it will be fun. Here we go and stop yawning!!!

1) Patience- This is a big one. I think we have established all subbies are crazy, to differing degrees, also very frustrating at times…very. Then add numbers to that and well I think you see my point. You see, a Dom never yells or gets mad. Does that mean the wall in my music room does not have a dent in it from me banging my head? No…it does but that’s just part of the wonderful world of a Dom.

2) Consistency- This is also a big one. A sub cannot trust a Dom fully if he is inconsistent. It’s not easy to be on top of everything, all the time but a Dom must try to be. First, he must have the desire to be, then he has to work at it. As I said, the more subs you train the harder it is but it can be done.

3) Fairness- Though some of you lovelies I do train may disagree at times on your punishments, I think all of you would agree I am always fair. A Dom must listen and evaluate every situation. Maybe the sub has a point? Usually she’s just weaseling but it does happen on occasion and a Dom needs to be open to at least considering inexperience. A Dom will make a sub feel safer and more secure if she knows he knows what he’s doing. If I tell a sub she’s in for the cane she has to feel secure in the knowledge that I know how to use it. It’s scary enough knowing you are going to be punished with an implement if you doubt the Dom’s skill it’s going to turn out badly, even worse if you’re right.

4) Time- It takes time to train a sub and a lot of time to train a lot of subs. If you take that on you must devote time to each one and her special needs as all subs are different. I try to check in on my subbies every day to see if they are ok, have questions, or have done the tasks I have given them etc. It takes time but I love it and it’s all worth it when a subbie begins to blossom in her submission and the D/s lifestyle.

5) Caring- This may be the most important building block for a good D/s relationship. If the Dom does not care about the subbie learning, growing and becoming a better person then why bother? I put all my subs first, I do not put me first…and no I’m not talking about me indulging in my sadistic side and spanking a sub whenever I want. I’m talking about her needs and what will make a positive change in her life. I want all my subs to be happy and feel better about themselves and their life, in general, than they did before they started training with me.

Pay it forward is my mantra. Now there are many other traits a Dom needs but these kind of popped into my Dom brain today so I just went with the flow.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

%d bloggers like this: