Acid Flashback on Wheels

Hello lovelies,

You’re probably shaking your heads. Let me explain, and let me just say, a little love and some subbie hugs would really help, as I have a sad tale to tell. Very sad.

As you may or may not know, we have needed a new car for a while. Well, Bree has so I bought her the car she’s been wanting for a long time. It’s called a Smart Car. For those of you that don’t know what that is, let me ask you, have you ever seen Honey I Shrunk The Kids? If so, imagine Rick Moranis came to your house and zapped your car. That’s now a Smart Car. Its very cute and very very un-Dom like. I mean very-to-infinity un-Dom like.

Yet, I took it to get gas because Bree does not pump gas. White girls can’t pump lol. I’m still funny even in my misery. It did not help that, a too cool for school, black mustang cobra pulled in next to me. I felt like George Jetson, and Batman had just pulled up. The guy gave me a look that said it all and I had to restrain myself from picking up the car and putting it in the trash.

Cut to a few hours later when Bree asked me if I had checked the mail. I said “No.”

She said “Go check, my eyelashes shipped.”

Now I’m not saying I know a lot about women but I’m pretty sure UPS does not deliver eyelashes. So I said “huh?”

Then Bree said something that chilled me to the bone, and has caused nightmares ever since. “You know eyelashes for my new car!!!!”

I laughed. She didn’t, bad sign.

“Bree,” I said very calmly, “you’re kidding right?”

Well she was not kidding. Imagine you’re driving and a giant female cartoon lady bug pulls up behind you with eyelashes! I can just see this causing all the old hippies to have acid flashbacks and go running for cover.

You all know I love Bree. She’s cute, funny, smart, and really spankable, there are not many things I wouldn’t do for her but driving the lady bug with lashes is not one of them.

Are you feeling my pain?

I told Bree to start practicing because I’m not taking that acid flashback to the gas station, or anywhere else for that matter. This should not be happening to a dom. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg.

Be good, or else…

SJ

STI

Hello lovelies,

I am sure you are all wondering, what STI is? Hang on, I’m going to explain.

It affects subbies of all kinds, newbies and experienced subs. Unfortunately, there is no cure. The treatment can put the affliction in remission but it’s only temporary and very painful.

The symptoms can appear out of nowhere and may include, wringing of hands, loss of eye contact, squirming and possible teary eyes. These are usually proceeded by a Dom’s questions like, “You got a ticket for going how fast?” or “Why did you disobey my orders?” or “Did you really call me that?”

As if in a trance the subbie repeats over and over to explain STI…STI…which means…Subbie Temporary Insanity.

This disease affects subbies worldwide. Doms have been working on a cure since the dawn of time, to no avail. It’s rumored, in the newly discovered dead sea scrolls, there is a short passage stating…“Adam said to Eve. ‘What were you thinking?’ Her answer? ‘STI’.

It’s not known if treatment was administered right away. We can only hope. So reach out to your subbie sisters. Spread the word about this terrible pathogen. We can find a cure together. Here’s to a brighter tomorrow.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Do Tell

Hello lovelies,

This question came up recently, when is it appropriate to tell on another sub?

Now I know you all stick together like a big subbie sorority.

That would be a great video, especially initiation night you…sorry, went away for a few seconds, I’m back now.

Back to my query, when would you tell on another sub? I know you all like getting others in trouble, no eye rolling, you know I’m right. But what if your subbie sister was being self-destructive? Abusing drugs? Alcohol? Speeding? Would you tell her Dom or leave it to him to find out?

Chime in and let me know.

Be good, or else…

SJ

OMG Infinity

Hello lovelies,

As you may or may not know, my birthday is coming up soon. Yes, I’m sure you are all just waiting to blast your keyboard with “you’re so old jokes.” Hey, 120 is not old and for your information I don’t look a day over 90.

Dig this, Bree got her royalties in and said, “Come on let’s go somewhere.”

I figured, antique store, ice cream parlor, maybe japanese sushi, so imagine my surprise when we pull into Best Buy.

“Huh? What are we doing here,” I remarked.

“Just follow me,” Bree said.

…Ok fine…

Now for those of you who have seen 2001 Light Show or Raiders of the Lost Ark, the ark opened, or a vintage 59 Les Paul guitar. You know that moment. How you felt when your eyes beheld those sights. That’s how I felt as I stood, jaw to the floor, while my eyes were bathed in almost surreal colors on wide thin screens of nirvana.

It’s the tv section!!!!

Bree said “What do think about this one?”

It was monolith huge, with a picture, I felt, I could dive into.

“Well? What do you think? You want it?”

I thought I had gone deaf for a second, surely she did not really say that, did she?

“Happy birthday!!!”

I’m not ashamed to say, I may have wept. My amazing wife, brilliant author, mensa head, cuter than a baby groot. is buying this for me? Top of the line, theatre quality, 4x HD.

Excuse me, I need a moment…I’m back. I want to thank my lovely lady for such an amazing gift, wow. Its going to be here next week, I’m camping out on the porch.

Be good, or else…

SJ

 

%d bloggers like this: