So, a few months ago, I approached Daddy asking for help with developing a work-out routine. Now Bree told me I was crazy. Do. Not. Do. It. Don’t ask him for help, it never ends well, he is relentless, it will be torture, well…See, he is a work-out crazy person. or fiend. Or….I don’t know, but he works out religiously, every day, and it sort of, makes me sick….and a little jealous, cause I do not have that will power. Not even close. In fact, you know how people say that working out makes them feel sooo good? Well guess what? Not this girl. I just feel tired. And hot. And sweaty. And in the California heat…stinky.
So ideally, I would like to lose like 20lbs. Now Bre, she got the skinny gene. Which is totally unfair because she also to got the incredible writers gene, the artistic gene, the photographic memory gene….Are you following me here? She is a big act to follow. I am not artistic. I have to study for hours to get average grades. I couldn’t write a story if my life depended on it. Well-ok maybe I could but I am too shy to try…
So the new year started out like every new year. Full of optomism. Hope. Promise. Really people? I need to lose like 20 lbs. and firm up. It’s not rocket science. I just need to stick with a program and do it. But I have no will power. So, Sir (because daddy has left the building) has decided to take over. He is only doing this because I asked. him. I mean, make no mistakes, he would not force me into a diet or work out routine. He is smart enough to realize that even he is not powerful enough to force me to lose weight if I don’t want to.But I do want to lose weight. I do want to get in shape. Ok so what does this have to do with submission or honestly or obedience?
Well, when he agreed to help me, I agreed to work out, according to his schedule. To tell him when I do or do not work out as scheduled.This was basically the honor system. If he were to ask me if I worked out, it was expected that I would answer honestly-even knowing that the penalty for not working out (unless i had a good excuse) was the paddle.
Recently, I did not report in that I did or did not work out. See, Sir does not ask me every day. But if he does happen to ask, he expects and honest answer and he wants it without having to ask for it. So for the past few weeks I have been somewhat lax. Only working out about half the time 5 out of 10 days. Not good.I could have lied and said I did work out. Because how would he know? But part of my deal is being submissive.Obedient.Right? Right??? Um, yea.
So he instituted a new rule. Every day, despite the fact that I may see him and speak to him one on one, I have to email him and say “Sir, I worked out today”…Or “Sir, I did not work out today”.. It’s all very tiring and annoying. Because even if I do work out and forget to email him (why the hell do I need to email him?) I will be punished. As in paddled. BB, OTK, Paddled.So…..that brings me to honesty. I mean, lets face it, he is not home all of the time. He works, has friends, errands, etc. I can easily say I worked out-even if I didn’t. But then of course that brings to the fore front the whole Honesty thing, Right? Kind of goes hand in hand with obedience and submission, right? What a dilemma…
So lets just say it is a struggle. Every single day. This honesty and obedience thing…Not easy. Its like a moral dilemma. I always pictured my Dom standing over me with a paddle making sure I obey. But real life is not that way. Real life depends on honestly, integrity-even when your bottom line is in fact your bottom. Not always the greatest-or easiest situation to deal with.
Its not always easy doing the right thing. Especially when you know what is coming. So how do you make yourself be honest and obedient? Are you tempted to tell “white lies” to save your skin?
Love ,Nikki