Age Play and a Major Complaint

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Bree was a guest blogger on Joelle Casteel’s blog last week and I wanted to share the article with you. On Joell’s site, she referenced another blog about age play vs daddy doms. Anyway, something on that site really fired Bre up. So read the article Bre wrote then read the part from the other site that got Bree’s panties in a twist. Then you can hop on over to Joelle’s site. Its great and I know you will enjoy looking around and getting to know here better.
Thanks for inviting me over, Joelle! You are talking about one of my favorite topics… Ok here goes!!
My writing career started with The Game Plan [Joelle interrupts to say, I just started this book and I couldn’t put it down. I had to grab my stuffed puppy and go to sleep long after I should have]… But the research started way before. As most of you know, I have an MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Alternative Lifestyles and couples counseling. I pursued those to gain some answers about my own needs and desires and discovered AP in the process.
I wrote an article a while back on my blog about AP, what it was and what it was not. In summary, it is a type of role play in which one, or more, partners takes on the adult/big position of authority, decision making, responsibility while the other, the little, assumes the responsibilities and activities of a certain age group. I must emphasize that AP is NOT about adults having sex with children, child abuse or anything of the sort. It is simply a technique that provides the little a chance to revert back to a time where he/she has less responsibilities and is permitted the freedom to react, rather than respond, to a life situation. Come on now… I am certain several of those people reading this have wished they could, as adults, stomp their feet, stick our their tongues, throw a tantrum or pout…. Without being called a big baby!
I wish I could tell you with absolute certainty that everyone involved in AP has had, or has not had, childhood issues… But that is not the case. AP’ ers come from all walks of life and on many different education levels as do those involved in DS. Although the majority of the ones I have been involved with have had experienced some sort of major childhood trauma, there are also some who were blessed with incredible childhoods and parenting examples. Either way, they have chosen this lifestyle because it works for them and they are thriving because of it.
You specifically asked how the Daddy/little relationship worked and what both parties got out of it…..
I mentioned above that it is a form of role play and that the couple/family (sometimes there are more than two involved) worked. It is a consensual release of control by the little to the authority figure.. Not always a daddy.. The big roles are vast in number, and depend on the involvement the individuals wish to take in the ‘raising’ of the little. The big role can include, but is not limited to, parent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, teacher, cousin, guardian…. Any authority that is ‘older’ and maintains control. The little, likewise, can be a child of any age group and whose role depends on that of the big. The object of the lifestyle is for the little to release him or herself to the control of the big, and for the big to nurture, guide and direct the little, and provide him/her a safe environment to explore the inner child.
Bigs are also responsible for disciplinary action should their littles misbehave, and that can range to whatever means the big feels his/her little requires. Let me emphasize, again, that we are NOT dealing with real children… Merely adults who are taking on child like qualities and behaviors… Therefore, actions such as spankings, punishment enemas, and sex are often used together with time outs, writing lines, and removal of privileges. There is no right or wrong way to deal with it, however, I am sure most Bigs agree that the sexual aspects of the lifestyle are explored when the little is allowed to transform back into a big.
Trust is the ultimate benefit of this relationship. The little is completely exposed and vulnerable when she/he submits to the big, and trusts him/her with the delicate process of guarding not just the body, but the heart, mind and soul. The big has a huge responsibility in this lifestyle… Just like a real parent.
The AP lifestyle also provides opportunity for healing from past hurts… And any new players should be completely away [I wonder if Breebree meant “aware”] of possible emotional, mental or physical triggers prior to entering this arena. I do recommended that, in the beginning, a cue or safe word be decided on which would allow one, or the other, to pause and discuss an issue or discomfort as it arises. Secrets are not an option in this role… Too many things come to surface and the individuals must be patient and willing to address them.
On a personal note… I was introduced to AP and AB (adult baby… Infantilism) several years ago while researching my thesis. Coming from a background of abuse, I wanted to learn about the depth of my daddy issues and seek some answers. John and I live 24/7 in DS, but our AP is more restricted to special days or times when I am feeling particularly vulnerable or overwrought. We are also expanding our lifestyle knowledge with the help of my Uncle K and his little girl, Lp. I find it very difficult to release all control to Daddy, and I know Daddy finds it challenging to constantly be on the lookout for me. I cannot help but admire those people, like Uncle K and Lp, who live the lifestyle 24/7. The amount of trust and love that goes into it, along with the physical, mental and emotional aspects, is mind blowing!
I hope this helps answer some questions and perhaps, bring new ones to surface. I have to go now.. It is time for my nap and Daddy promised we would watch Little Mermaid and eat ice cream if I went to sleep without complaining.
Toodles!
Luvs, Breebree
OK so Joelle referenced, as I said another blog with some slightly different perspectives. Thats ok. I mean, everyone feels or lives this lifestyle with their own twists. But Bre was upset by this passage:
Sex in a Daddy/little relationship is not done like that of role players where the sexual attraction stems from deep seeded interest in incest or pedophilia. Sex between a Daddy and his little is just like sex between any people in a relationship.It is SO wrong with absolutely no psychological or substantial basis whatsoever. In fact, this statement would put millions of good people.. Parents, teachers, doctors, lawyers, etc. on the sex offenders list. I know several people in the lifestyle who prosecute sex offenders and go above and beyond their means to protect children. To a reasonable and prudent person, the terms little, AB and AP are synonymous, and I challenge anyone to prove differently.  In essence, she accused those who don’t engage in the lifestyle full time to be perverts.

If this statement disturbs you, please go to the site and educate this woman!!!
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6 thoughts on “Age Play and a Major Complaint

  1. I am a little. I don’t consider it AP but I can see this reasoning why it is used. My Daddy and I have discussed this all in length and have realized my little (more a middle) comes out during specific times. I’m an adult but due to childhood sexual abuse and a violent rape early as a teen, he believes and I fun for it is partially because my childhood was stolen. This is not pedophile or incest. He is my Sir, my guide, my protector. My abuser wasn’t my father but a family friend, my relationship was star ok Ned with my actual father and since allowing my little out I have become closer. The sex with Daddy? Ummm he is a DOM, my Sir too. Not just Daddy. I think k many forget or get lost in Daddy as the label and forget the Dom. I. RL I’m professiona. I haven’t always known what my little was within, though the glitter obsession and stuffies should have been a clue. After twenty years in the D/s lifestyle I’ve seen a lot and am a formally trained protocol based submissive. Anyway rambling…. it’s a very very very misleading statement. I would say yes to being disturbed about it. We’ve had one person accuse Daddy of being a pedophile and even used my very young features (I look like I’m in my teens half the time till you look.closer) against us. It’s not ok at all.

  2. ugh, I am so frustrated, Bree! I tried to find the conversation in my status message that I ended up tagging you in, but couldn’t. I’m still half pondering all this, that blog, your comments on it, my reality. I just don’t know- parts of that blog made so much sense to me, but yeah, there’s were definitely things- like the line you quoted- that makes me wanna be a bit sick. You can see I’m still thinking on this, weeks after I invited you to my blog, or when you posted this on your own. I still see myself as wandering somewhere around the “middle” that that blogger mentions, but I don’t think I really interact with it as a role- anymore than I do my D/s slavery. but then shrugs, who knows with me being bipolar. my Master was joking the other day “Your treatment is driving me crazy and then snap back to more normal.” it’s not really easy for meds-free 😀

  3. Yikes, this is a reminder to myself NEVER to post after I’ve had a glass of wine! So sorry for my language and if I offended anyone. This hits close to home for a dear friend so I get animated!

  4. Lily, I think you said it eloquently. For someone to even use the term pedophilia or incest in association with AP is just uneducated and can cause so many misconceptions. I have a close friend and her husband who have a D/s relationship but also have AP as a dynamic of the relationship. There are literally 2 people in her life that know about it, one being me and why? because of judgemental (sorry SJ but I gotta say it) assholes even in the D/s lifestyle. I hope, as Lily said, others wanting to explore this dynamic do not listen to one persons opinion.

  5. Those are exactly the kind of statements that cause HUGE misconceptions and create problems for those living the lifestyle or even just wanting to explore it. AP/Little/AB has absolutely NOTHING to do with incest or pedophilia on ANY level and to imply so is ignorant and harmful.

    From my perspective Daddy and I have a Daddy/lg dynamic but it is age play. In my opinion, AB/Little etc is all the same. I am an adult, not a child. I act little, I play at a younger age. I do feel like I have a little that I let out to play but at the same time I play at that age, hence age play. Unless you have multiple personality disorder or something of the sort letting your little out, playing at a younger age or even just being extremely immature is a choice, just as submitting to your Dom is. Age play is a lifestyle choice Daddy and I have made and will continue to make with Daddy in charge of me and my little 24/7. I sincerely hope those wanting to explore this dynamic do not take that one opinion to heart without exploring everything more fully and completely.

    <3 L

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