You’re probably shaking your heads. Let me explain, and let me just say, a little love and some subbie hugs would really help, as I have a sad tale to tell. Very sad.
As you may or may not know, we have needed a new car for a while. Well, Bree has so I bought her the car she’s been wanting for a long time. It’s called a Smart Car. For those of you that don’t know what that is, let me ask you, have you ever seen Honey I Shrunk The Kids? If so, imagine Rick Moranis came to your house and zapped your car. That’s now a Smart Car. Its very cute and very very un-Dom like. I mean very-to-infinity un-Dom like.
Yet, I took it to get gas because Bree does not pump gas. White girls can’t pump lol. I’m still funny even in my misery. It did not help that, a too cool for school, black mustang cobra pulled in next to me. I felt like George Jetson, and Batman had just pulled up. The guy gave me a look that said it all and I had to restrain myself from picking up the car and putting it in the trash.
Cut to a few hours later when Bree asked me if I had checked the mail. I said “No.”
She said “Go check, my eyelashes shipped.”
Now I’m not saying I know a lot about women but I’m pretty sure UPS does not deliver eyelashes. So I said “huh?”
Then Bree said something that chilled me to the bone, and has caused nightmares ever since. “You know eyelashes for my new car!!!!”
I laughed. She didn’t, bad sign.
“Bree,” I said very calmly, “you’re kidding right?”
Well she was not kidding. Imagine you’re driving and a giant female cartoon lady bug pulls up behind you with eyelashes! I can just see this causing all the old hippies to have acid flashbacks and go running for cover.
You all know I love Bree. She’s cute, funny, smart, and really spankable, there are not many things I wouldn’t do for her but driving the lady bug with lashes is not one of them.
Are you feeling my pain?
I told Bree to start practicing because I’m not taking that acid flashback to the gas station, or anywhere else for that matter. This should not be happening to a dom. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg.
Be good, or else…