Triggers and Safe Words

2015-03-02

Hello lovelies,

I wanted to discuss something that is very important, especially in new D/s relationships. As many of you know I do not use safe words for a punishment, however, I do for emotional triggers that may come up.

Triggers should always be discussed before any session. Some call them hard limits, but usually a hard limit is something you do not want to experience because of the pain or discomfort. Emotional triggers are a different animal.

Let’s say you meet a prospective Dom, all is good and you set up a meeting. It is going to be a punishment session but all is going well. Of course it hurts more than you could have imagined and you are yelling loud enough for the hotel to call security but, hey that’s how it should be, lol. You have gotten hand, paddle and then a cane is produced and without an emotional safe word to discuss your panic the Dom just figures you are whiny and protesting like you have been doing for the entire session. Going with that assumption he uses it on you and you panic and freak out etc. The Dom has no idea what’s going on and is desperately trying to calm you down.

If you had discussed triggers beforehand you could have told him you had a very bad experience with a cane and were hurt badly or would otherwise react negatively. Without letting him know he has no idea what may set you off and he needs to know. This is why I always discuss things that may come up in a session or that could cause panic before.

When you talk to a prospective Dom and are setting up a meeting, make sure you tell him about the emotional minefield he needs to navigate. A true Dom will respect these triggers and not force you into that situation. Bottom line…yes, of course pun intended…I do not believe in safe words for pain or discomfort but yes I do for a potential emotional breakdown. A lot can happen, especially in a first time session. The more the Dom knows about you the better for both of you.

Be good, or else…

SJ

Outbursts #SatSpanks

Saturday Spankings

Can you believe its the last day of February? So much has already happened this year.  The Whip Master, part of the 50 Maids of Graye was just released. In fact, the sequel to the book was just completed as well. Don’t forget to check out the other spanking authors on the Saturday Spankings blog.

The Whip Master

Dorian Graye  is a master of the Florentine long- tail whip, and has made an art form of throwing the braided snakes to paint a human canvas. Like his namesake, he plays hard, but he loves even harder- especially when it comes to Annie, a young woman who was tossed onto the streets by a selfish and neglectful family. He and his beloved wife, known as One,  help Annie discover an unknown part of her heart- a heart to serve- but her dreams do not include the type of life that they can offer her. Their love for her demands sacrifice- but will it be enough to mend her brokenness, chase away her fears, and make her dreams come true?

Pride, Integrity, Loyalty and Love, the acronym of PILL, is a hard one for many to swallow in the eyes in today’s society. In honor of his mentor’s vision for a rich alternative to the old world ideas of domestic service, Graye Manor was founded. Select applicants, known as Graye’s Maids, are trained in the classic skills of a domestic – with one major difference. Each is drawn to the darker side of service and flourishes under the command of a hard palm upon a bare backside- or even, in more hardcore cases, the slash of a whip.

The Whip Master is a story about total power exchange, surrender, difficult choices and sacrifices of love. Under the slightly sadistic exterior is a man whose greatest desire is for each of his beloved maids to find happiness. He allows nothing to stand in their way, not even themselves, and is willing to sacrifice anything to grant them their heart’s desire… even if the journey to that desire means suffering as the door to previously unspoken taboos are opened and explored during the decadent Cirque de Sade Festival where anything is possible, and everything is probable.

The time of the annual Festival had arrived and Graye Manor bustled with a frenzy of activity. Its rolling, manicured grounds echoed with the sharp sounds of a whip striking human flesh and shrill cries filled with both pain and pleasure followed, bringing excited smiles and eager anticipation to the faces and hearts of the listeners. The time of the Cirque de Sade Festival had finally arrived and, with it, the final magnificent display of skills, beauty, and selfless service that would end at the auction block. Guests would be arriving from all over the globe to be served, and entertained, by the staff of this unique establishment. The outside world knew nothing about its purpose, or the real history behind the cold stone walls, and Dorian Graye intended it to remain that way. Things happened in the Manor – things that the real world would never embrace…

This scene is a continuation of last weeks between Dorian, Greg and Fifty.

“In addition, the dear child was supposed to present to Mistress Meredith this afternoon to discuss a little inappropriate outburst during her punishment.” Dorian added, standing next to the other man as they gazed at the heart-shaped bottom.

“What outburst was that?”

“I said ‘fuck’ during my caning.” She sounded miserable.

“She didn’t! Please tell me that you don’t believe that ‘fuck’ is a safe word?”

“No, sir.”

**********

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Blushing Books

Healing

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As many of you know, John and I put our lives out there for you, our beloved friends and fans. We don’t hide our world, nor do we pretend life is always rainbows an unicorns.  Because of this, our lives are frequently dissected and attacked with the agenda to hurt. Whether it be separation, divorce, death or betrayal- each of these things have torn the fabric of love and trust in all of our lives. Most of you know my history and, like you, every loss takes a little chunk of life from your spirit.

Many of you have recently written to me about healing from the pain of betrayal and the feelings that arise- feelings that are uncomfortable, ugly, and bitter. I wrote this to let you know that you are not alone. We all feel that way when someone we cared about hurts us.  It’s okay to put those feelings to words- and that is what I have done.

This is from my heart, open and exposed naked in front of you. It’s a show of trust and gratitude to you who have opened your hearts to me.

Love Always,

Bree

 

To Those Who Have Shared My Heart

 

Some of you still live on

Others have departed- in love and in life

Some memories still bring smiles- Others might even bring tears

But for those whose lives left behind a dark shadow in their wake-

This is for you.

 

No matter who you are- or the role you played

We are part of each other- Good or bad

I cannot forget- for learning does not come with forgetting

But I can forgive, and be free of the poison that you called love

 

Where I am is due to you- Just as where you are is due to me

I hope yours is a good place, a happy one

And that you’ve learned to make choices to better yourself

I know I have.

 

It is sad to say that my life is better without you in it,

But there remains a tiny part of my soul that still belongs to you

That explosion of laughter

A shared glass of wine

Even a moment of comfort

Still belongs to you.

 

Freedom is truly a wonderful thing.

I release you from my life

I will remember the pain so that I may learn from it

I will also remember the love so that I don’t grow cold.

Good bye…

The Whip Master-Just Released

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Dorian Graye  is a master of the Florentine long- tail whip, and has made an art form of throwing the braided snakes to paint a human canvas. Like his namesake, he plays hard, but he loves even harder- especially when it comes to Annie, a young woman who was tossed onto the streets by a selfish and neglectful family. He and his beloved wife, known as One,  help Annie discover an unknown part of her heart- a heart to serve- but her dreams do not include the type of life that they can offer her. Their love for her demands sacrifice- but will it be enough to mend her brokenness, chase away her fears, and make her dreams come true?

Pride, Integrity, Loyalty and Love, the acronym of PILL, is a hard one for many to swallow in the eyes in today’s society. In honor of his mentor’s vision for a rich alternative to the old world ideas of domestic service, Graye Manor was founded. Select applicants, known as Graye’s Maids, are trained in the classic skills of a domestic – with one major difference. Each is drawn to the darker side of service and flourishes under the command of a hard palm upon a bare backside- or even, in more hardcore cases, the slash of a whip.

The Whip Master is a story about total power exchange, surrender, difficult choices and sacrifices of love. Under the slightly sadistic exterior is a man whose greatest desire is for each of his beloved maids to find happiness. He allows nothing to stand in their way, not even themselves, and is willing to sacrifice anything to grant them their heart’s desire… even if the journey to that desire means suffering as the door to previously unspoken taboos are opened and explored during the decadent Cirque de Sade Festival where anything is possible, and everything is probable.

The time of the annual Festival had arrived and Graye Manor bustled with a frenzy of activity. Its rolling, manicured grounds echoed with the sharp sounds of a whip striking human flesh and shrill cries filled with both pain and pleasure followed, bringing excited smiles and eager anticipation to the faces and hearts of the listeners. The time of the Cirque de Sade Festival had finally arrived and, with it, the final magnificent display of skills, beauty, and selfless service that would end at the auction block. Guests would be arriving from all over the globe to be served, and entertained, by the staff of this unique establishment. The outside world knew nothing about its purpose, or the real history behind the cold stone walls, and Dorian Graye intended it to remain that way. Things happened in the Manor – things that the real world would never embrace…

The Whip Master contains explicit scenes of whipping, severe spanking/caning, branding and other sexual training. If this offends you, please do not read this book.

**********

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The Siren FREE!

generalsdaughter_new

Free for one day as Part of our Fifty Ways to Blush promotion. Free until 6pm today!

Lt. Samantha Quimby, USMC is a beautiful, brilliant and very unique young woman. Not only does she have the privilege of being the youngest known Special Ops officer in the Corps, but an unfortunate accident during a dive in the Marinas Trench leaves her permanently amphibious!  Her new found ocean freedom, combined with her unique ability with ocean mammals and an overtly defiant and somewhat reckless nature, wreaks havoc on her very loving, but very strict family.  Her father and uncle, both USMC Generals, and her older brother, Michael, are in constant pursuit of trying to keep her safe from herself and her own curiosity and often thoughtless actions. In desperation, the three resort to old-fashioned military discipline- bare bottom spankings.

The 18 year old is appalled, but it does not take long for her to discover that love can be expressed in a firm and consistent manner upon her little bottom.

Love, laughter, duty and obedience frames Sam’s life and, despite a constant sore backside, she couldn’t be happier.

**********
Blushing Books

Conductor of the Flesh

2015-02-23

We are inching closer and closer to the release of The Whip Master and what will be the first book in the series 50 Maids of Graye. We’re so excited for the release and for you to get a taste of the festivities and Master Dorian.

The Whip Master

Dorian Graye  is a master of the Florentine long- tail whip, and has made an art form of throwing the braided snakes to paint a human canvas. Like his namesake, he plays hard, but he loves even harder- especially when it comes to Annie, a young woman who was tossed onto the streets by a selfish and neglectful family. He and his beloved wife, known as One,  help Annie discover an unknown part of her heart- a heart to serve- but her dreams do not include the type of life that they can offer her. Their love for her demands sacrifice- but will it be enough to mend her brokenness, chase away her fears, and make her dreams come true?

Pride, Integrity, Loyalty and Love, the acronym of PILL, is a hard one for many to swallow in the eyes in today’s society. In honor of his mentor’s vision for a rich alternative to the old world ideas of domestic service, Graye Manor was founded. Select applicants, known as Graye’s Maids, are trained in the classic skills of a domestic – with one major difference. Each is drawn to the darker side of service and flourishes under the command of a hard palm upon a bare backside- or even, in more hardcore cases, the slash of a whip.

The Whip Master is a story about total power exchange, surrender, difficult choices and sacrifices of love. Under the slightly sadistic exterior is a man whose greatest desire is for each of his beloved maids to find happiness. He allows nothing to stand in their way, not even themselves, and is willing to sacrifice anything to grant them their heart’s desire… even if the journey to that desire means suffering as the door to previously unspoken taboos are opened and explored during the decadent Cirque de Sade Festival where anything is possible, and everything is probable.

The time of the annual Festival had arrived and Graye Manor bustled with a frenzy of activity. Its rolling, manicured grounds echoed with the sharp sounds of a whip striking human flesh and shrill cries filled with both pain and pleasure followed, bringing excited smiles and eager anticipation to the faces and hearts of the listeners. The time of the Cirque de Sade Festival had finally arrived and, with it, the final magnificent display of skills, beauty, and selfless service that would end at the auction block. Guests would be arriving from all over the globe to be served, and entertained, by the staff of this unique establishment. The outside world knew nothing about its purpose, or the real history behind the cold stone walls, and Dorian Graye intended it to remain that way. Things happened in the Manor – things that the real world would never embrace…

**********

Coming Soon!!

Fast or Slow?

2015-02-23

Hello lovelies,

My post today is really more of an inquiry into your subbie brains. Yes, I know…be afraid…be very afraid. 

As you know the beautiful Breanna Hayse and I have been in a D/s relationship for a very long time. Keeping in the spirit of such and because I love to spank, she gets spankings daily usually at least 3 and if she has been very good a subspace session at night. 

All together now…SJ is awesome!!  

Thank you but I digress. The other day we were doing a pain/pleasure session. It’s similar to subspace but usually the sub does not go that deep and can actually talk and function. Bree wanted me to start with hand and work her up to taking full punishment spanks. We did this and I suggested, since her tolerance was high and the endorphin gods were smiling down on her we should try doing the same build with a strap. She was all for it and actually got to a point she took 4 real punishment strokes after about 35 or so leading up to it. 

Now getting to my inquiry, I am very careful when applying a stroke with a heavy implement such as the strap, thick cane, rug beater, school paddle, etc. To aid me in delivering the stroke to the perfect spot I usually tap or touch her bb with the implement lightly first, then deliver the stroke. Bree and I discussed this after the session and she said she would rather not have any idea when the stroke is coming and would prefer not to feel the implement beforehand.  

In this scenario, as it’s not punishment, she has permission to pick implements, speed and how hard. If it was punishment she would have no say. 

Here are my questions:

1) During a pleasure/pain session do you agree with Bree or do you enjoy knowing the stroke is coming? 

2) During a punishment do you find its more of a deterrent to be punished with fast strokes or slow spaced out ones and again feeling the implement on your bb lightly first or not?

I truly hope you all experience number one soon and number two if deserved. I’m looking forward to your input. 

Be good, or else…

SJ