Spanking: Punishment v. Abuse

Ok lovelies, I want to address a serious topic here, also for any would be Doms reading this, listen up. It’s important.

There are a lot of men and women who equate a proper spanking with abuse. This is not the case, and I’d like to put things into perspective. In order to do this I need to share a bit of my past with you, not an easy thing as I am pretty private person, but I think this is important.

My childhood was constant abuse from my mother both verbal and physical. I was whipped or switched almost daily until I was big enough to say no more. My father did nothing to help and if it were not for my grandmother, I never would have made it. Physical abuse is out of control violence. The strokes or blows can land anywhere. The abuser does not care where. It can go on as long as the abuser does not tire out. It was not unusual for my legs or arms, etc. to be switched and cut or my body bruised from a belt or whatever was around. Now this is not a poor me story, I tell you this to illustrate a point.

What I have described is abuse. A spanking is not. A punishment spanking hurts, I won’t lie to you. It hurts a lot, but the difference is that it’s controlled and always just the bb. Can a punishment mark? Yes, it can, especially when an implement is being used. But, like I said, never out of control strokes. A Dom is always aware of how the sub’s bb is reacting. You see, an abuser does not care if you mark or even bleed. A Dom would never go too far. Control is key. Not to mention the fact that he cares about teaching you a valuable lesson. An abuser, like my mother, would just get mad, lose her temper and start hitting me, a lot of times for no reason at all, other than she lost control.

I keep coming back to control. It’s all about control, never anger. A Dom never punishes if he is angry and I mean never. Also, there is always after care following a punishment, especially a severe one. This is not the case with an abuser. Now all Doms have a sadistic side, some more than others. After all we do love seeing a crimson bb otk or bent over. Even so we always have the subbie’s safety and best interest at heart. We’re always watching out for any problems, during a session, to ensure their physical and emotional wellbeing. Again, an abuser could care less, trust me I know.

In conclusion, let me say to all of you, a proper spanking is not abuse, even if the sub’s bb marks. Always make sure after care is given. It’s hard a lot of times for subs and, especially new Doms to understand what I have been saying but I’d like you to think about it. A Dom must always…

       Keep in control.

       Only give your sub what she deserves.

       Do so from a caring place.

I sincerely hope this helps some of you.

 

Said with love and caring,

SJ

 

P.S. Thank you for all of the great ideas and suggestions you guys left in the comments and all the emails you sent me. I’ll definitely be using those in my future posts so stick around.

Hayse Happenings

 

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Hey y’all! I thought it would be fun to update everyone of some cool things happening in our part of the world.

First, Nik has moved out permanently and started her own life! She is now back east with another Dom and his wife,who have a nest-full of subs to attend her parties with. We wish her and her new family the best of luck, and pray for her continued happiness and safety in her new ventures. The chick has finally flown the coop we can run around the house naked again. Let’s hear it for running around neked! YAY!

Second, Sir John has been given the opportunity to start mentoring new Doms! Yep, husbands are starting to step forward and explore the lifestyle with their wives and SJ is doing the incredible job (as always) of guiding and directing. His book is also coming along (slow and steady). Since most of you have seen that he is not too fond of capitalization and punctuation, we are all fighting over who gets the pleasure and joy of editing his work. Any volunteers?

Third, The AMP program is so much fun and the ladies involved are brilliant authors to be. We are really excited to see where this is going to go! I am enjoying the creative ways they try to get out of homework.

Fourth—our new subbies! We are blessed to be part of these wonderful women’s lives and welcome them with open arms (and hard paddles). Each of them is a treasure and are so adorable with lots of new ways to weasel (even some that I haven’t heard of). We are encouraging them to share their experiences with all of you.

Luvs to all!
Bree

P.S.  If you have any questions or need help and can’t get hold of me, please contact my Editor and Chief (and main nagger of blog things) to Lily (DaddysLittleLobster@gmail.com).  She will know exactly how to hunt me down and kick my butt, lol!

 

Stick Your Tongue Out Day #SatSpanks

Saturday Spankings

It’s that time again, Saturday! Time for some reading and relaxing (hopefully). It seems like any ordinary Saturday but in fact today is Stick Your Tongue Out Day. I don’t know about you but I plan to use this little known holiday for all it’s worth. Get to celebrating, at your own risk of course. Don’t forget to check out what else is happening over at the Saturday Spankings Blog. :p

Caught in the Net: General’s Daughter Book 3

She is at it again! USMC lieutenant, Samantha Quimby, is beautiful, brilliant and ‘an independent thinker’ whose biggest delight is challenging the strict rules and regulations set by her commanding general father and uncle. Even more enjoyable is when she can slip past her big brother Michael’s watchful eye and follow her own path. As intelligent as she is, Sam’s need to pursue her own interests without considering the consequences subjects her frustrated family to trying every avenue of discipline they can think of. They conclude that nothing grabs the girl’s attention like sporting a bright red bottom. But keeping her attention is another issue….

Her unique abilities have also led her to ‘translate’ the cetacean code, which the image of being ‘caught in a net’ simply means… Trouble! After she and Michael complete a particularly dangerous Special Ops mission, Sam is exposed to a unique challenge. Lt.Richard Lewis, a handsome engineer who seems to display the best characteristics of the men in her beloved family… And the worse! It does not take long for Sam to discover that the serious minded young man is determined to keep her safe, and that he will not hesitate to impart his firm beliefs directly to her rebellious bare bottom!

Instead of coming to her rescue, Michael approves highly of his new friend and his methods to ensure good behavior from his little sister. Finally, having some ‘assistance’ in the Sam-sitting department, Michael is now free to pursue his own love interest, Jennifer. Jen discovers not only does she now have a man of her dreams, that Michael’s self-discipline extends to her bottom as well.

The two couples, under the stern guidance of the Generals, come together as a family to share in the excitement and fear as Sam and Michael risk their lives for their country and the ocean that they protect.

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This scene takes place during the family outing with Michael, Jennifer, Sam and Rich discussing those challenges that will most likely end up in spankings for the girls.

“Oh, I’ll give it one time. Then she’ll come crying to her big brother,” Rich teased.

Jen stuck her tongue out at him, “Like hell I will.”

“Michael, Jen’s swearing,” Sam giggled, trapped in Rich’s arms.

Michael shook his finger at Jen, “That’s one.”

“Do all physicists know how to count in whole numbers? I thought you guys were limited to integrals.”

“That’s two.”

**********

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Introductions to the Lifestyle

It seems we have a bit if a theme going with the last few posts so I wanted to keep it going a little bit. In Pipers Journey Into Submission Piper is introduced to several aspects of Jeoff’s lifestyle throughout the book. Spankings are discussed (and applied) but he also has several conversations with her regarding D/s, Age Play and the varying rules and dynamics they entail.

You can read a little bit about my introduction to the lifestyle over on the John and Bree page and hopefully in the next few posts John will be kind enough to share how he was introduced into certain aspects of the lifestyle. I think while everyone has a different introduction to the lifestyle, a lot of the feelings associated with that knowledge and exploration are similar. Either way you slice it learning new things and doing new things is often difficult, particularly those that force you to be open with yourself and others. Everyone’s thought process and how they handle the information is always going to be different but there seems to be a lot of similarities that come with being new in the lifestyle. I’ve noticed there’s a lot of self doubt, questioning, fear of failure…What if I can’t do it? What if I’m not a good submissive? What if I’m weird for liking this? The good news…it’s all normal so just keep learning and exploring.

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Here’s a snippet of Jeoff introducing the subject of age play to Piper.

“Payback, brat. I am also interested in AP, but have not found my Little yet. I suspect that might be an area you are heading for from the things you have said, and your reactions to certain events.”

“What the hell is AP? And, why would you think I am heading anywhere? I am just curious, damn it.”

“Sit still,” he said sternly as she began to fidget. “I know this makes you uncomfortable, but you are the one who brought it up. There is no reason to be defensive. Oh yes, and one more thing. I am not going to warn you about your swearing again, either. It is not acceptable. Understood?”

“Yes,” Piper whispered, looking down at the table and feeling abashed. “It’s not fair, though. You swear sometimes.”

“I know I do, but I am responsible for being a good example, so it is something I have to work on. That does not give you leave to do it anytime you feel like it, or that you are absolved of the consequences. My girls call D&S a ‘consensual dictatorship’.”

“That is SO not fair,” Piper repeated.

“Nope, it sure isn’t,” Jeoff patted her hand. He continued, “AP stand for age-play, and it involves the voluntary and conscious reversion back to a time where adult decisions and responsibilities did not exist.”

“That sounds more like regression. Is it like role playing?”

“Role playing implies a game and, for some people, that it all it is. For others, it is much more serious. I use the term reversion because it takes the ability to reclaim and embrace the inner child, while regression implies falling back without purpose or thought. The reversion for a real APer is serious, and they often revert to the time when they felt a loss of control or their innocence was marred. They permit themselves to behave in a manner appropriate for that age group and learn what it is like to be a child that is loved, wanted, and cared for. The entire focus is to achieve trust, love, and a true sense of caring.”

 

How were you introduced to the lifestyle (D/s, Spankings, Age Play, BDSM, etc.)? Do you think it changed how you approached the lifestyle? Did you jump in with both feet or is slow and steady more your pace?

 

For You All…

 

question

 

OK lovelies, this is not really a post, but a question.Yes I know the last one was also a question. But this is different. Sorta… Anyway, I would like to know what you are all interested in reading about for my next post. If I get a lot of the same thing, I will write about that. If not, I will just pull a name from my Dom hat. You all deserve a little treat, so here it is. Talk to me. Here is your chance to have me address the topic you are most interested in. Whatever you want. Put on your subbie thinking caps and write me.

Be good or else.

SJ

Piper’s Journey Into Submission #SatSpanks

Saturday Spankings

We’re happy to once again share with you Piper’s Journey Into Submission. This book was just released yesterday so if you haven’t sped read the entire thing here is a little snippet for you to enjoy. As always don’t forget to check out what the other authors are sharing over at the Saturday Spanking Blog.

 Piper’s Journey Into Submission, Book One

FOREWORD: There are very few ‘primers’ that are available to welcome and educate ‘newbies’ into the various aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. Instead of giving you, my readers, a dry and indifferent ‘how to’ book, I thought the explanations would be more enjoyable if I wrote about real people in a real situation. The actual characters (and several locations) in this book are fiction, but their lives, questions, experiences and situations are based on real life people and events. This is part 1 of Piper’s Journey…

Divorced and free, Piper Hillard decides to put as much distance between her ex-husband as she can. She moves to a small suburb of Portland Oregon to begin her new life with plans to get a job, finish college and buy a house of her own. A chance meeting in a coffee shop with sports therapist, Jeoff Stevens, starts a chain of events that make Piper question everything she has ever believed. Jeoff encourages her to pursue her goals while lovingly introducing her to D&S, dominance and submission. He insists that her power and confidence will grow as she learns to let go of her control and submit her heart to him. But none of this makes sense to Piper! Why would a man putting her over his knee and spanking her bare bottom make her feel so safe and loved? How is obeying him any different from her having to obey her abusive- ex?

As her questions are answered, she discovers a part of herself that has been missing for years. Her trust grows, as does her ability to get into trouble. Did Jeoff really know what he was getting into when he claimed her as his primary submissive.

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This scene comes after Piper decides to slip into bed in an attempt to avoid any further punishment at Jeoff’s hands.

“I told you to do something and you seem to have this need tonight to defy me. Don’t go giving me the tears,” Jeoff scolded as he rolled up the sleeves of his soft blue flannel shirt. “You are going to need them for your spanking. We might as well just deal with what I already owe you, too.”

“I was tired, noooooo!” Piper wailed as he easily pulled her across his broad lap.

“Yessssss,” Jeoff retorted, sliding her panties down to her thighs and then lifting his leg to anchor her bottom in place. “I don’t know what has gotten into you, but we are going to nip this in the bud right away. You have really left me with no choice but to spank this attitude right out of you.”

**********

Amazon

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Blushing Books

New Release-Piper’s Journey Into Submission

We’re so happy to be kicking off our weekend by announcing the release of Piper’s Journey Into Submission. It’s hot off the presses and links will be added as they become available but you can currently purchase your copy over at Blushing Books with Amazon and Barnes and Noble to follow shortly. Don’t forget you can read a sample chapter if you’d like a little taste before one-clicking. Happy reading this weekend!

piper_comp

FOREWORD: There are very few ‘primers’ that are available to welcome and educate ‘newbies’ into the various aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. Instead of giving you, my readers, a dry and indifferent ‘how to’ book, I thought the explanations would be more enjoyable if I wrote about real people in a real situation. The actual characters (and several locations) in this book are fiction, but their lives, questions, experiences and situations are based on real life people and events. This is part 1 of Piper’s Journey…

Divorced and free, Piper Hillard decides to put as much distance between her ex-husband as she can. She moves to a small suburb of Portland Oregon to begin her new life with plans to get a job, finish collage and buy a house of her own. A chance meeting in a coffee shop with sports therapist, Jeoff Stevens, starts a chain of events that make Piper question everything she has ever believed. Jeoff encourages her to pursue her goals while lovingly introducing her to D&S, dominance and submission. He insists that her power and confidence will grow as she learns to let go of her control and submit her heart to him. But none of this makes sense to Piper! Why would a man putting her over his knee and spanking her bare bottom make her feel so safe and loved? How is obeying him any different from her having to obey her abusive- ex?

As her questions are answered, she discovers a part of herself that has been missing for years. Her trust grows, as does her ability to get into trouble. Did Jeoff really know what he was getting into when he claimed her as his primary submissive?

**********

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Blushing Books